Little Dream
Tyler.l Lyrics

Why do you hate us?
What is the reason behind the animosity you feel toward us?

I don't hate you
I assure you that my feelings toward you are not rooted in hatred.

You gettin' up in front of the world
Your actions in public seem to suggest otherwise.

And showing everybody how much you hate us
Your display of feelings appears to express contempt toward us.

Mom, I don't hate you
Once again, I want you to know that I hold no hatred toward you.

I don't hate you
This sentiment bears repeating because it is truly how I feel.

Then why would you write about us like this?
If your feelings are genuine, why do your words suggest otherwise?

Because I love you!
The truth is, my writing comes from a place of love for you.

You don't love me
Your actions lead me to doubt your affection for me.

If you loved me
Should your love for me be genuine, certain behaviors would be expected.

You wouldn't have made your daddy run out of here
You wouldn't have caused such distress in our family.

With tears in his eyes
Your actions have led to emotional pain for those who care for you.

If you loved me
Again, if your love was real, you would act differently.

You would've found you a church home up there in New York
You would have rooted yourself in a supportive community.

If you loved me
Once more emphasizing the discrepancy between your behavior and love.

You would've brought me home a daughter-in-law and a grandbaby by now!
Your love would have inspired familial connections and continuation.

If you loved me
Reflection reiterating the conditionality of love.

You'd be able to fly me around the world like Tyler Perry!
Such love would manifest in joyful and tangible acts of sharing experiences.

Her precious little dream
The aspirations she holds dear—a life filled with hope and fulfillment.

But oh, no, you are frightened about life
Yet fear of life's uncertainties has hindered her progress.

Came tumbling down
Her dreams and aspirations have faced devastating setbacks.

Never mind Doodoo Bank Student Loans calling my house
Forget about the pressing financial struggles that loom over us.

Looking for your black butt
Instead of addressing these issues, I feel targeted by external pressures.

And after all the time she spent building it up
Recognize the effort and dedication she poured into her dreams.

You lollygagging up there, you ain't half doin' nothin'!
Your lack of seriousness has led to wasted opportunities despite her hard work.

And after all of the things that she's been through
Consider the struggles she faced as she built her dreams.

You probably dressin' up and pretendin' you was a white woman!
It suggests a perceived betrayal of one's identity or cultural authenticity.

You come along and crush it
Your actions have resulted in the destruction of her hard work.

Talking 'bout you want a black man, tuh!
Yet, you seem to desire something or someone completely different.

In the palm of your hand
You hold power over the situation, yet misuse it.

Like a real black man would kiss you!
There is a contrast between your desires and reality.

You come along and flush it
Your presence has led to further rejection of her dreams.

The Bible says homosexuality is worse than murder!
You bring external beliefs that heighten the sense of sin in the situation.

Down
This sense of downfall has societal implications, burying true identities.

My precious little dream
The ideal vision for her life that is fragile and cherished.

Of my little boy
Her hope for a meaningful connection with her child.

God, after all this time
Questioning divine intervention or lack thereof after enduring hardship.

Why can't you give it up?
Looking for relief from her burdens and disappointments.

Oh no, you not gonna turn this on me
Refusing to accept blame for the ongoing conflict between us.

I know I'm a good mama!
Affirming her self-worth despite opposition.

'Cause if you knew all the things that I've been through
If you understood the struggles I endured, my choices would make sense.

Ugh, they had to cut me open to get you
Highlighting the physical and emotional pain endured during childbirth.

Did you know that?
Asking if you comprehend the sacrifices made for you.

I bled and bled
The toll my body took signifies the depth of my commitment to you.

They pulled your black butt out of my stomach
Emphasizing the immense effort it took to bring you into this world.

You'd rue the ways you attack me
You would regret the harsh treatment of me if you truly understood.

Your Aunt Hattie said your homosexuality was just a phase
Testimonials from family suggest a misunderstanding of true identity.

You'd rue the ways we fought
Reflecting on how both of us have suffered due to our conflicts.

But you're 26 years old, and you still kissing on men
Time has passed, yet your authentic self still emerges, defying expectations.

You run until you've tracked me
There’s an inescapable connection between us despite attempts to flee.

Why couldn't you just be the daughter I always wanted?
Expressing disappointment in the reality of who you are versus her desires.

Down
Once again, reinforcing the feeling of loss.

I'll tell you why, it's because you're selfish!
Attributing the conflict to an inability to consider anyone else's feelings.

Mama, I can't suck your titties again
Indicating a desire to break free from dependency.

I can't crawl back up inside your womb
Signifying the necessity of growth and separation from maternal ties.

Your nasty little mouth
Your words seem to cut deeply, causing unnecessary pain.

You wonder why it's like a graveyard (shut up, shut up)
Indicating a lack of life and vitality in our current relationship.

You see how you're making me cry?
The gravity of your actions is having a profound emotional effect on me.

In your living room
The intimate setting highlights the personal nature of our conflict.

You wanna cry, Mama?
You are welcome to feel and express your emotions as well.

Go right ahead
I’m giving you permission to release your feelings.

My stumps are growing shorter on this earth, my son
Acknowledging mortality and the limited time we have left together.

But I won't cry, Mama
Despite circumstances, I choose strength over sorrow.

'Cause I'm not dead
I still have life, hope, and agency despite difficulties.

And one day, you won't have me at all
The reality of loss looms over us, reminding of inevitable separation.

And you're not dead
Acknowledging the existence of both life and unclaimed emotions.

And then you'll be all alone
Implying loneliness that comes with such separation in the future.

Time just has this way of tearing
Time challenges and dismantles our constructed beliefs and dreams.

Down the dreams we think we live in
Acknowledging that our perceived realities often crumble under pressure.

Spinning wheels in motor town
Feeling as if we're trapped in a cycle without forward momentum.

So effed up and so run down
The struggles we face have left us feeling exhausted and defeated.

An overblown yet false display
Our lives appear exaggerated, but ultimately lack authenticity.

Just like in a gospel play
Reflecting on a theatricality that mirrors our experiences.

Who the fuck is you, nigga?
A questioning of identity and authority in this relationship.

Who the fuck is you?
Addressing a supposed sense of superiority or judgment.

Who, ooh
A repetitious inquiry into the essence of that identity.

Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Expressing emotional weight through a melodic articulation.

Who, ooh, ooh, ooh
Continuing to delve into questions surrounding self-identity.

Sister Serabe
Bringing in a communal figure to deepen the reflection of experience.

The Lord put it on my heart
Divine inspiration guiding thematic direction in this narrative.

To sing this selection in honor of Brother Darnell
Commemorating a fallen individual as a representative of shared struggles.

Who was an abomination just like me
Acknowledging shared identities that society has deemed inappropriate.

And I can't help but reflect on the ways that I have lived a life
Examining personal choices and the impact of external judgments.

Without passion
Identifying a life devoid of true desire due to fear and societal constraints.

In fear of you and your husband's words to me
Dealing with the threat of judgment from loved ones that stifles authentic expression.

That if I ever acted on my lust for another man
Conveying the ramifications of exploring one's true identity.

That I would meet the same fate as Darnell
Fearing a tragic outcome linked to embracing authenticity.

Lying in that there box
Visualizing the ultimate consequence of societal rejection.

And those words have kept me HIV-free
The fear instilled has led to safer choices despite its psychological toll.

But completely terrified ever since
A deep-seated anxiety stemming from the way I've navigated life.

Because I realized then and there
A moment of clarity that forces reevaluation of belief systems.

That the only thing worse than dying of AIDS would be living with it
Fearing the consequences of one's identity becoming a reality.

And hearing the people you love say
The anticipated disappointment and blame from loved ones stings more deeply.

'I told you so, I told you so, I told you so!'
Imagining the scorn awaiting for not conforming to societal expectations.

Can I get a witness out there, choir? (Hallelujah! Yes!)
Seeking solidarity and affirmation in shared struggles and beliefs.

And so, on today
In this moment, reflecting on the collective experience and loss.

As we prepare to bury yet another un-HBO special
Mourning the loss of another marginalized voice eclipsed by societal norms.

Un-Oscar-So-White award winning
Critiquing the systemic exclusion within accolades and recognition.

Abnormal-hearted, un-Angel in American black queer in the ground
Honoring those who lived outside typical narratives and didn't fit societal molds.

It's very important that we remember
Emphasizing the need to acknowledge these experiences and losses.

What God's word (amen)
Turning to spiritual teachings for guidance in understanding existence.

Your word
Acknowledging the influence of familial teachings and beliefs.

Tyler's word
Recognizing how popular culture also shapes our understanding of identity.

And every-fucking-body else's word tells us
Acknowledging the overwhelming voice from society regarding these identities.

AIDS is God's punishment
The perception that societal shame associates illness with divine retribution.

Sing your song, brother, sing your song (hahahaha)
Encouraging self-expression as a means for healing despite pain.

For the man who ain't living right
Condemning those who deviate from prescribed societal morality.

You hear that, Curtis?
Calling out someone who represents those judgmental views, reflecting accountability.

AIDS is God's punishment
Repeating the idea of divine consequence strongly rooted in society.

(I love the Lord, he heard my cry and pitied every groan, Pastor)
Finding solace in faith amid struggle, despite the surrounding judgments.

For he who sins in the night
Implying secrecy is sinful, leading to perceived inevitable consequences.

Let 'em know, let 'em know, let 'em know
Urging for acknowledgment of these views and their painful implications.

A-A-A-A-A-AIDS is God's punishment
Reaffirming the belief that disease serves as a marker for moral failing.

But all darkness, all darkness
All negativity and hidden truths will eventually find exposure.

All darkness, all darkness
Reiterating the cycle of secrecy that surrounds these conversations.

Comes to light (speak on it)
Eventually, the truth will emerge and cannot be hidden indefinitely.

He gonna knock them dicks up out your mouth
Imagining a force that will ultimately reject false identities.

And then, and here's what I like about him
Reflecting on the inevitability of reclamation of power.

Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di
A rhythmic expression of both joy and defiance.

He shall smite
A prophecy of confrontation with the very ideals that have caused pain.

AIDS is God's punishment, yes!
Reiterating the harsh reality as understood in a collective belief.

(Sing, sopranos! Testify for all of God's children!)
Seeking voices that resonate with the pain and struggle being reflected.

AIDS is God's punishment!
A repeated rallying cry towards echoed societal beliefs.

Everybody in the building
Inviting participation from all who share in this communal experience.

Clap me in on the two and the three, with my altos!
A call for unity and rhythmic acknowledgment of shared experience.

AIDS is God's punishment, yes!
The final affirmation of the harsh belief that ties morality to disease.

AIDS is God's punishment
Repeatedly affirming the link between lifestyle choices and repercussions.

Come on, tenors! AIDS!
Encouraging further participation and recognition of the painful reality.

AIDS is God's punishment, yes!
Unyielding in the proclamation of the community's perceived judgment.

(If you ain't living your life according to His holy and righteous word)
Warning that deviation from moral codes brings inevitable consequences.

AIDS is God's punishment
Emphasizing this belief as an overarching truth gripping the community.

Then you ain't nothing but a sinner and a Black, gay turd
Harsh condemnation highlighting societal prejudices toward marginalized identities.

AIDS is God's punishment, yes! (You gotta pray right, you gotta stay right)
Urging others to adhere strictly to traditional beliefs to avoid divine wrath.

AIDS is God's punishment (you gotta crucify yourself, you gotta crucify yourself)
Emphasizing the need for sacrifice and penance in societal views.

AIDS is God's punishment, yes! (But the blood of Jesus won't protect you from)
A warning that even faith cannot shield from the consequences of sin.

AIDS is God's punishment (AIDS, AIDS, AIDS!)
Continually driving home the tragic narrative linking illness to moral failure.

AIDS, AIDS!
Echoing the urgency of awareness and the significance of the message.

AIDS, AIDS!
Reinforcing the connection between the illness and the wider societal judgment.

Parts
A nod to the fragmented nature of identity and experiences we navigate.

AIDS! (God is gonna do it, God is gonna do it!)
Proclaiming faith that divine action is imminent against injustices.

AIDS! (Sores all on yo' body and yo' mouth and in ya butt)
Vividly portraying the resultant pain tied to such societal beliefs.

AIDS! (This is what you're feeling, give him the spiel)
Drawing attention to the visceral responses that manifest through pain.

AIDS! (AIDS is God's punishment when you fuck against God's will)
Reiterating the core belief that lifestyles seen as sinful bring about diseases.

AIDS! AIDS! (AIDS is God's punishment when you fuck against God's will)
Continued emphasis on the intertwined narrative of societal beliefs and health outcomes.

AIDS! AIDS! (AIDS is God's punishment when you fuck against God's will)
Closing with a strong insistence that deviating from traditional morals leads to negative consequences.

AIDS is God's punishment (crucify me, Lord!)
Expressing a willingness to bear the weight of societal beliefs as punishment for perceived sins.

Crucify me, Lord!
A plea for understanding and redemption amid societal condemnation.

Crucify me, Jesus
Requesting sacrifice and forgiveness aligned with spiritual beliefs.

AIDS is God's punishment (Usher! Please stop this!)
The desire to halt the cycle of pain and societal condemnation signifies deep frustration.

Roast me in your flames, haha!
Embracing extreme suffering as part of the narrative but with a hint of dark humor.

AIDS is God's punishment
Final emphasis reinforcing the prevailing belief surrounding illness and morality.

Please stop this music!
A desperate call for a cessation of external pressures and expectations.

You wanted a gospel play
Critiquing the audience's desire for a palatable narrative while struggling with harsh realities.

Well, this is the only way I know how to do it
Acknowledging that raw expressions of pain form the basis of authentic storytelling.