How I Feel
Tyler Cassidy Lyrics

Can't feel a thing, can't even feel pain
I'm emotionally numb; I can't feel anything, not even physical pain.

Somebody help me out
I need someone to assist or support me.

You just got, gotta tell me why
I need an explanation or answer from you.

It's heavy, I feel it slipping through my fingers
The weight of something significant is slipping away from me.

The smoke from the shot in my past life lingers
The consequences of my past actions continue to impact me.

I'm calling but I think the world is turning off the ringers
I'm reaching out for help, but it seems like the world is ignoring me.

Oh well I'll leave a voicemail I turn it on to speaker
Since I can't reach anyone, I'll leave a message and listen to it myself.

I'm checking out it's kinda hard what's this about?
I'm giving up, it's difficult to understand why things are happening this way.

Middle finger to the sky, when we try to call him out
We express our anger towards a higher power when we demand answers from them.

If I can make him mad enough then maybe he'll just show up
If I provoke a reaction from this higher power, maybe they'll respond to me.

Then I don't got to pull this trigger, he'll just make me blow up
I hope I don't have to resort to self-destruction, maybe the higher power can help me out.

Wish I could say that I was nervous, I don't feel a thing
I wish I had some fear or anxiety, but I'm completely numb.

Been waiting 8 years for the big bang and blood stains
I've been waiting for a significant and violent event to happen for years.

I've seen enough rain and suffering and hustling
I've experienced too much pain and hardship and struggled too much.

I'm not saying I'm not sane but I think I'm not sane
Although I'm hesitant to admit it, I don't think I'm mentally well.

In just a couple of seconds right before the shot rings
Moments before I commit an action that will cause harm or danger to myself.

I get to see an image of my life where there is not rain
I visualize a life where there is no struggle or hardship.

I get to see a vision of my life where there is not pain
I visualize a life where there is no emotional or physical suffering.

And not shame, so I lay down the gun and run the life lane
I hope for a life where I feel no shame and choose to change my path.

Millions of people
A vast number of individuals.

Know just how I feel
Understand how I am experiencing or perceiving things.

I look in the mirror at the face of adversity
When I see myself, I am faced with all of the hardships and obstacles I've encountered.

In the eyes of the person I hate, who doesn't quit hurting me
I see my own struggles reflected back in the eyes of someone I despise who continues to harm me.

You're my own worst enemy, you're grinning me
My biggest obstacle is myself and the negativity that comes with it.

Don't wanna see me fly up out that city, bring my kin with me
I hope to escape my current situation and bring my loved ones along with me.

But now I'm hungry, I'll make the world hate how much they love me
I am motivated and ready to create something great that everyone will hate to love.

Coming from the underground, slummed up and grubby
I have faced significant adversity and come from poverty and disadvantaged circumstances.

Waiting for you fat cats to keep on getting chubby
I am waiting for the wealthy and powerful to become even more greedy and corrupt.

Keep up filling up that tummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy
Keep eating and indulging in your wealth, it just feeds my anger even more.

And imma eat you all up in one bite, my life
I will overcome and take down everyone who has wronged me.

Yeah imma knock you all out with one strike, my life
With just one action, I can end the power and influence of those who have harmed me.

Yeah imma cut you all down with one knife, my life
I will not hesitate to use violence to end the reign of those who have hurt me.

My pain, my strife, my life, all right?
This is my reality, my struggle, my existence...but is that okay?

See me in the street when you pass me in your benzes
Notice me when you pass by in your fancy cars.

On the sidewalk waiting outside of your fences
I'm waiting outside your gated communities on the sidewalk.

Up your driveway past your 20 inch rims'
I'm walking up your driveway and past your luxurious cars.

And beating on the door till it's bouncing off the hinges
I am relentlessly knocking on your door, refusing to be ignored anymore.

Thank you, everyone who's standing in my way
I'm not grateful at all, I'm just acknowledging the obstacles placed in front of me.

You're the light that keeps me up at night, the darkness in my day
You are the source of both the good and bad in my life.

You're the garbage in my garden, you're the reason that I'm hardened
You are the trash that affects my growth and the reason for my emotional toughness.

I'm a rock inside a shell, I've been through hell now I'm a Spartan
I am resilient and tough due to the struggles and trauma I've faced.

I'm good ol' uncle sam, I'll look you in your eyes
I am patriotic and will boldly confront those who oppose me.

I want more than just to hear your cries I want your demise
I want more than just to hear you suffer, I want to witness your downfall.

I want you on this rope, God I hope I break through
I want to have complete control over you and break down your willpower.

I want your head and your heart and your hopes and your dreams
I want to take away everything you hold dear.

Everything you want, everything you want from me
You want me to submit or surrender, but that's not going to happen.

You're my curse, you're my hearse
You bring me bad luck and sorrow, and will lead to my eventual death.

You're my death, you're my birth
You are the cause of both my demise and my emergence into this world.

You're everything I can't control, everything that hurts
You are the thing I can't conquer or overcome, and the source of my pain.

I'm your nightmare man, almost right there man
I am the embodiment of your fears and anxieties, and I am close to causing harm.

What's another year? Been at this for a light year man
One more year of struggle seems like a small amount of time, considering how long I've already been fighting for.

I'm the winner at the finish line, no matter how you try
I will triumph over all obstacles and come out victorious.

Because the difference between you and I is I'm ready to die
The only thing that separates me from you is that I'm willing to die for what I believe in.

Millions of people
A vast number of individuals.

Know just how I feel
Understand how I am experiencing or perceiving things.