The sports page
Veronica Swift Lyrics


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My favorite TV anchorman said watch the Middle East, the price of oil is really out of sight
And only yesterday he said the price would never be increased
And that's the opposite of what he said last night
It gets so tough to understand this stuff, I don't really want to bother anymore
But by the time I understand the news that I read today
I forget the news I read the day before

But then I turn to the sports page
And I see the Lakers didn't make it
Now there's no way that they could fake it
You can't say you win if you lose
Cause there it was on the sports page
There's no way to deny it
You win you lose or you tie it
You can't cover it up in the news

Businessmen and congressmen and other shifty guys
They all got stuff they're always trying to pull
And this scratchy stuff I feel that's being pulled down around my eyes
I'm beginning to identify as wool
There's an exposé above the CIA in the radio, the TV and the press
And after all the different versions of what I'm supposed to know
I wind up understanding even less

But then I turn to the sports page, and Aaron Judge made an error
Now how could they report it any fairer, the sun must've got in his eyes
Cause there it was on the sports page
Just the simple facts I'm finding
Not another axe somebody's grinding
You can't change the score by telling lies
Lies, lies, ooh

Now back a couple seasons when the Mets were riding high
Astronauts were walking on the moon
I watched it on the TV and I looked up into the sky
And then I started laughing like a loon
It could all be fake like a movie they could make
And we'd all believe they're really up in space
And the Russians would be busy making phony movies too
And we'd never know who really won the race

But then I turn to the sports page
And the Mets had blown it in the 13th inning
They can't make losing look like winning
I think the Phillies took it 5-4
Cause there it was on the sports page
The only page that takes a firm position




Kind of like an honest politician, the kind you don't find anymore
In fact the sports page is the only place to go when a fella wants to know the score

Overall Meaning

Veronica Swift's The Sports Page is a satirical take on the news and media's tendency to twist and manipulate information. In the first verse, she talks about the "favorite TV anchorman" who contradicts himself on Middle East issues and gas prices. She mocks this kind of news that is difficult to understand and remember by saying, "By the time I understand the news that I read today, I forget the news I read the day before." However, she finds solace and honesty on the sports page where the score is the score and there are no alternate facts. The second verse mentions "businessmen and congressmen and other shifty guys" who are always up to something. Swift feels a "scratchy stuff" is being pulled over her eyes and begins to identify as wool, highlighting the manipulation of the truth. She then sarcastically describes the many versions and different explanations of the same news that only add to her confusion.


The chorus is where she reveals her trust and enjoyment of sports news, exclaiming that the sports page is the only place that takes a firm position and presents the simple facts. She talks about the Lakers who didn't make it, Aaron Judge's error, and the Mets' downfall. She further emphasizes this point by saying, "You can't change the score by telling lies, lies, ooh". Veronica Swift's The Sports Page is a clever critique of the media and a reminder that the truth can always be found in sports, where the score is the score, and there is no room for alternate facts.


Line by Line Meaning

My favorite TV anchorman said watch the Middle East, the price of oil is really out of sight
The TV anchorman I trust advised me to keep an eye on the Middle East because the price of oil is through the roof


And only yesterday he said the price would never be increased
Interestingly, the same anchorman assured me yesterday that there would be no price hike at all


And that's the opposite of what he said last night
In contrast, he contradicted himself by saying the exact opposite of what he said last night


It gets so tough to understand this stuff, I don't really want to bother anymore
It has become complicated to comprehend such issues; I don't think it's worth the trouble anymore


But by the time I understand the news that I read today
However, by the time I start to grasp the news that I read today


I forget the news I read the day before
I find myself forgetting the information that I read and absorbed yesterday


But then I turn to the sports page
As a calming escape, I divert my attention to the sports page


And I see the Lakers didn't make it
To my surprise, I notice that the Lakers couldn't make it to the top


Now there's no way that they could fake it
It's impossible to fake the results – they clearly lost


You can't say you win if you lose
It's irrational to say that you won when you actually lost


Cause there it was on the sports page
Because the evidence is right there in black and white on the sports page


There's no way to deny it
It's impossible to deny or dispute the facts


You win you lose or you tie it
You either win, lose or tie – nothing to conceal


You can't cover it up in the news
Unlike most news stories, the outcome of sporting events cannot be masked or obfuscated


Businessmen and congressmen and other shifty guys
Businesspeople, politicians, and other devious individuals


They all got stuff they're always trying to pull
These people frequently attempt to deceive or cheat in one way or another


And this scratchy stuff I feel that's being pulled down around my eyes
The sensation of a woolen material being used to blindfold or conceal my eyes


I'm beginning to identify as wool
It feels like I'm being manipulated or duped


There's an exposé above the CIA in the radio, the TV and the press
There's a revelation regarding a significant organization (CIA) in various forms of media


And after all the different versions of what I'm supposed to know
In spite of countless versions and variations of what I'm anticipated to know


I wind up understanding even less
I end up understanding even less than I did before


But then I turn to the sports page, and Aaron Judge made an error
But then I return to the sports section, and I notice Aaron Judge made a mistake


Now how could they report it any fairer, the sun must've got in his eyes
It's impossible to report the information any differently; it appears the sun affected his vision


Just the simple facts I'm finding
Remarkably, I'm discovering that the sports page shows only the simple truths of the game


Not another axe somebody's grinding
Unlike most other news stories, the sports news isn't influenced by any biases or agendas


You can't change the score by telling lies
The final score of a game cannot be altered regardless of any lies that may follow


Now back a couple seasons when the Mets were riding high
Taking a stroll down memory lane when the Mets appeared unstoppable a few seasons ago


Astronauts were walking on the moon
During this time period, astronauts were walking on the moon


I watched it on the TV and I looked up into the sky
Looked up at the sky watching an extraordinary TV event at the time


And then I started laughing like a loon
It seems silly in retrospect I started laughing uncontrollably


It could all be fake like a movie they could make
In hindsight, it dawned on me that the whole thing could have been a fabrication like a production from the movies


And we'd all believe they're really up in space
Despite this possibility, we would still proclaim they were in space


And the Russians would be busy making phony movies too
It's implied that the Russians would be creating fake films too


And we'd never know who really won the race
In this scenario, none of us would know who won the grand prize


The only page that takes a firm position
The sole page that has a clear and unwavering stand on issues


Kind of like an honest politician, the kind you don't find anymore
This is comparable to an honest politician, who nowadays, is an incredibly rare find.


In fact the sports page is the only place to go when a fella wants to know the score
As a result, when seeking accurate and direct knowledge and information, the sports page is the only reliable option.




Lyrics © Peermusic Publishing
Written by: DAVID L FRISHBERG

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

joshua schoonyan

She's really something else. So good. Can't wait to see her in concert sometime.

George Kelley

Great Voice, Lady! True lyrics to boot! 2 THUMBS UP!!

Luke K

Thank you for your awesome music. It's truly a great song.

MrEdredd70

Just heard it this morning...blew me away!!!

Eduardo Gallizzi

Wow!! What a fine sound we have here! ;)

Carlos Medina

I heard this on the radio and immediately thought of the Supreme Court Justice Earl Warren who famously said he read the Sports page first because it chronicled man’s successes while the front page was full of it’s failures.

poloroidable • 9 years ago

Definitely one of my favorites

Ron Chism

Excellent.

Julian Keippel

Awesome❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️

Evan Escher

This might be the truest song there ever was

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