Jackie
Walker (Scott) Lyrics

And if one day I should become A singer with a Spanish bum Who sings for women of great virtue I'd sing to them with a guitar I borrowed from a coffee bar Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you
If I were to become a singer, maybe with a shady past, who performs for virtuous women, I would serenade them with a borrowed guitar. It's true that ignorance is bliss.

My name would be Antonio And all my bridges I would burn And when I gave them some they'd know I'd expect something in return
I would adopt the name Antonio and cut all ties with the past. Women would freely offer themselves, but I would make it clear that they owe me something in return.

I'd have to get drunk every night And talk about virility With some old grandmama That might be decked out like a Christmas tree And though pink elephants I'd see Though I'd be drunk as I could be Still I would sing my song to me About the time they called me "Jackie"
Every night I would get drunk, boasting about manliness to an old woman dressed in a flamboyant fashion. Even though I would be hallucinating, I would still sing my own song to myself, remembering the time when people called me Jackie.

If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour A cute cute, in a stupid-ass way
If only I could be adorable and innocent for a brief moment in time.

And if I joined the social whirl Became procurer of young girls Then I would have my own bordellos My record would be number one And I'd sell records by the ton All sung by many other fellows
If I were to become a procurer of young girls and join high society, I would own a chain of brothels and be incredibly popular. I would sell records in bulk that would be sung by many other people.

My name would then be handsome Jack And I'd sell boats of opium Whiskey that came from Twickenham Authentic queers and phony virgins
As a man with the name Handsome Jack, I would illegally sell opium and whiskey from Twickenham. I would also offer both genuine homosexuals and fake virgins.

If I had banks on every finger A finger in every country And all the countries ruled by me I'd still know where I'd want to be Locked up inside my opium den Surrounded by some china men I'd sing the song that I sang then About the time they called me "Jackie"
Even if I had wealth beyond imagination, with power over every single country, I would prefer being locked up in my own opium den, surrounded by Chinese men, singing the song that reminds me of my past, when people called me Jackie.

Now, tell me, wouldn't it be nice That if one day in paradise I'd sing for all the ladies up there And they would sing along with me And we be so happy there to be 'Cause down below is really nowhere
Wouldn't it be lovely to sing for all the women in heaven, and to have them sing along with me and be happy there, realizing that heaven is far better than life on earth?

And if my name were Juniper Then I would know where I was going And then I would become all knowing My beard so very long and flowing
If I changed my name to Juniper, I would become enlightened about my life's path and become a wise sage with a magnificent, long beard.

If I became deaf, dumb and blind Because I pitied all mankind And broke my heart to make things right I'd know that every single night When my angelic work was through The angels and the Devil too Would sing my childhood song to me About the time they called me "Jackie"
If I became deaf, mute, and blind because I was filled with compassion for humanity and dedicated myself to healing it, then every night the angels and the devil would serenade me with my childhood tune, reminding me of the time when I was known as Jackie.

If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour A cute cute, in a stupid-ass way
If only I could be adorable and innocent for a brief moment in time.