When I Die
Westbound Train Lyrics


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Fifteen million miles away from home
And I start breathing, and beleiving
That I can find the strength to carry on
Oh God I'm needing, too numb for feelings
Oh please don't kick me when I'm down
Or I'll drown, in my self loathing
Oh please, forget this in the morning
And I wont be mourning when I die.

Anchors on my ankles, and I sunk
Into depression, or is this some lession?
And it's cold and grey and no white light is guiding
Searching for insight, into my own life
Oh please, don't kick me when I'm down
Or I'll drown, in my self loathing
Oh please, forget this in the morning
And I wont be mourning when I die.

And oh please, don't kick me when I'm down
Or I'll drown, in my self loathing
And please, forget this in the morning




And I wont be mourning when I...
Mouring when I, mourning when I die.

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Westbound Train's "When I Die" explore themes of feeling lost, alone, and depressed in a seemingly endless journey away from home. The first few lines of the song express the singer's detachment from home, indicating that they are a great distance away, and emphasize the difficulty in continuing onward. The singer seems to be searching for a way to cope with their feelings of self-loathing and numbness, pleading with an unseen force not to kick them when they are down, lest they drown in despair.


As the song goes on, the singer describes themselves as feeling anchored by their depression, perhaps trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions that they can't escape. They long for insight into their own life, to perhaps gain a better understanding of why they're feeling this way. The final lines of the song reiterate the singer's plea not to kick them when they're down and their hope to be free from mourning when they die.


Overall, "When I Die" conveys a sense of hopelessness and desperation, but also a longing for freedom from those feelings. It's a powerful depiction of the struggle with depression and the overwhelming nature of feeling lost and disconnected.


Line by Line Meaning

Fifteen million miles away from home
I feel incredibly distant and isolated from the place where I belong


And I start breathing, and beleiving
Despite my struggles, I'm hopeful that things will get better


That I can find the strength to carry on
I'm encouraged by the possibility that I can overcome my difficulties


Oh God I'm needing, too numb for feelings
I feel a desperate need for help, but I'm also emotionally shut down


Oh please don't kick me when I'm down
I'm already in a vulnerable state, so please don't make things worse for me


Or I'll drown, in my self loathing
I'm struggling with self-hatred and fear that I'll be overwhelmed by it


Oh please, forget this in the morning
I hope that whatever pain I'm experiencing now will be lessened or forgotten by morning


And I wont be mourning when I die.
I don't want to spend my whole life in pain, nor do I want to be remembered that way after I'm gone


Anchors on my ankles, and I sunk
I feel weighed down and unable to move forward


Into depression, or is this some lession?
I'm unsure if what I'm experiencing is just depression or if there's a bigger lesson to be learned


And it's cold and grey and no white light is guiding
I feel lost and alone, with no clear path forward


Searching for insight, into my own life
I'm trying to find meaning and purpose in my struggles


And please, forget this in the morning
Once again, I hope that my pain will be lessened or forgotten by morning


And I wont be mourning when I...
I don't want to live a life spent in mourning or regret


Mouring when I, mourning when I die.
I want to be remembered and celebrated for a life lived with purpose and passion, not one spent in sadness




Contributed by Elijah P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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