Wannabe Gangstar
Wheatus Lyrics

I am a wannabe, you'd better be careful around me
I may not actually be a gangster, but I want to be one. So, you should be cautious when dealing with me.

I come from far away where Mustang dreams are made
I come from a distant place where people have big aspirations like owning a Mustang.

And we are fashioned in the image of the dons who have come before us
We model ourselves after those who have already established themselves as gangsters and hold them in high regard.

We all kiss the rings of sand like our fathers told us
We respect the traditions and teachings passed down to us from our families.

'Cause I'm a wannabe gangster, better go back to Commack
I am so committed to the idea of being a gangster that I am willing to threaten those who question my legitimacy.

Like a lemon pie a-la-mode, my nine is easy to load
Just like it's easy to make and enjoy lemon pie with ice cream, I find it effortless to load and use my gun.

All hail Jericho, Turnpike Tech, that's where I go
I pay respect to Jericho and Turnpike Tech, places where I learned tricks and techniques for survival as a gangster.

To learn the things about the universe I'll need so I can build a stampede
I am constantly learning new skills and gathering knowledge that I believe will help me gain power and influence.

Because I'm all up in your face again, I'm all up in your face
I am not afraid to confront others and assert my dominance.

A wannabe gangster, a victim of the chromosome prankster
I joke that my desire to be a gangster is simply due to my genes or DNA.

I thanks ya, I sits back in my chair to contemplate my hair
I thank others for their compliments while further indulging in my vanity by admiring my hair.

(Damn)
An exclamation used to emphasize my previous statement.

But yo, I'm looking snappy, I'm nappy, I'm crappy
Although I may not have a clean and polished appearance, I feel confident and cool in my own way.

Got jimmy hats from Pappy, so now I'm trigger-happy
I have condoms that were given to me by my father that I now carry on me, and I am always ready to use my gun if needed.

(Girl, did he just rhyme "nappy" with "crappy"?)
An internal comment made about my own lyrics, indicating my lack of concern for what others may think of them.

You girlies wanna get with this nit-wit, got Cheez Whiz or not?
In a derogatory tone, I ask if any women are interested in me and if they have a certain brand of cheese product to offer as a bribe.

Then I might have to blow up your mailbox, or biatch
If women are not interested in me, I may resort to violent and destructive actions as a way to assert my dominance.

Or toilet-paper your front yard
I may perform juvenile and petty acts of vandalism as a way to intimidate and prove myself as a gangster.

Show the cops my suburbs card
I believe my background growing up in the suburbs somehow legitimizes my desire to be a gangster and proves I am still relevant in a city setting.

They got to let me go, 'cause they know that I'm hard
I feel confident that I can get away with breaking the law because I am tough and intimidating.

It's the deal, it's for real
I am convinced that my wannabe gangster persona is an accurate representation of who I am and I am committed to it.

You better listen what I'm tellin' you
I want others to take me seriously and heed my words.

Better go back to far away
Others should stay away from me and my wannabe gangster attitude, especially those who come from a different background.