Into the Shadows of My Embrace
Why? Lyrics


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I conquered my own childhood silence and now the world is my lit confessional marquee,
But it'd take a busload of high school soccer girls to wash those hospitals off me

Oh, am i clean?
Nineteen.

They said sex will keep you young and make you older at the same time,
They said sex will have left you aged normally,
And so i guess it's sorta like smoking and walking at the same time
In that it will have left you aged normally

Oh, am i clean?
Lord, please, why me?

I wish i could feel close to somebody but i don't feel nothing.
Now they say i need to quit doing all this random ffff-
Now i think my upstairs neighbor hears me masturbating,
And there's other one's peeping through the slits in my curtains
And i never got a name for my shady compulsion
'cause i messed up and kissed my shrink in a jersey city hotel room..
And i know saying all this in public should make me feel funny,
But ya gotta yell something out you'd never tell nobody.

We found the dead fox, and a dozen matchbox cars, when we cut back the hedges on cortelyou place,
How many got lost left so long they grew moss 'cause they recoiled into the shadows of my embrace?
We found the dead fox, and a dozen matchbox cars, when we cut back the hedges on cortelyou place,
How many got lost left so long they grew moss 'cause they recoiled into the shadows of my embrace?





Oh, am i clean?
Lord, please, why me?

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to "Into the Shadows of My Embrace" by Why? is a poignant reflection on life, sex, and the scars left by experiences. The first stanza is about the singer's journey from a place of silence to one of newfound openness. The world is now a confessional, and the singer is unafraid to share their experiences. In contrast, the second line speaks of the lasting impact of traumatic experiences. The imagery of needing a busload of high school soccer girls to wash off the hospitals speaks to the depth of the wounds inflicted. The chorus, phrase "Oh, am I clean" speaks to a desire for absolution and to be purified of one's past.


The second verse juxtaposes sex with the aging process. The singer contemplates if engaging in sex has made them age in the same way one might age after smoking. The phrase "Lord, please, why me?" reinforces the idea of helplessness and despair. The third stanza is about feeling disconnected and desiring intimacy but being unable to connect with anyone. The line "Now i think my upstairs neighbor hears me masturbating" is an intensely personal moment.


The final verse is a reflection on the past and the shadows left by life experiences. The image of the dead fox and lost matchbox cars evoke memories of childhood innocence that were lost. The question "How many got lost left so long they grew moss 'cause they recoiled into the shadows of my embrace?" is an almost existential question begging for an answer.


Overall, the song is a raw and vulnerable exploration of the human experience.


Line by Line Meaning

I conquered my own childhood silence and now the world is my lit confessional marquee,
I overcame my past trauma and can now openly express myself to the world.


But it'd take a busload of high school soccer girls to wash those hospitals off me
My experiences have scarred me so deeply that it would take an extraordinary event to cleanse me of them.


They said sex will keep you young and make you older at the same time,
There are conflicting opinions and beliefs about the effects of sex on aging.


They said sex will have left you aged normally,
The idea is that sex has no major effect on the aging process.


And so i guess it's sorta like smoking and walking at the same time
Sex has varying degrees of impact on different people, much like how smoking and walking can affect people differently.


In that it will have left you aged normally
Sex does not noticeably affect the aging process for most individuals.


I wish i could feel close to somebody but i don't feel nothing.
Despite desiring emotional intimacy, I have difficulty feeling anything towards others.


Now they say i need to quit doing all this random ffff-
Others are telling me to stop engaging in impulsive, reckless behavior.


Now i think my upstairs neighbor hears me masturbating,
I am paranoid and anxious about the possibility of being caught engaging in a private activity.


And there's other one's peeping through the slits in my curtains
I am being watched and monitored without my knowledge or consent.


And i never got a name for my shady compulsion
I cannot accurately label or define my own behavior.


'cause i messed up and kissed my shrink in a jersey city hotel room..
I made a mistake by crossing a boundary with my therapist in an inappropriate manner.


And i know saying all this in public should make me feel funny,
I am aware that sharing such personal information publicly is unusual and could be uncomfortable for some.


But ya gotta yell something out you'd never tell nobody.
Sometimes it is necessary to express things publicly that you would not normally share with anyone.


We found the dead fox, and a dozen matchbox cars, when we cut back the hedges on cortelyou place,
We discovered unexpected and possibly disturbing items when clearing out an overgrown area.


How many got lost left so long they grew moss 'cause they recoiled into the shadows of my embrace?
How many things have been forgotten or avoided for so long that they have become hidden and neglected parts of myself?


Oh, am i clean?
Am I free of the negative experiences and emotions that haunt me?


Lord, please, why me?
Why have I been burdened with such difficult experiences and emotions?




Contributed by Samuel B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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