Your New Boyfriend
Wilbur Lyrics

Life isn't quite what I thought I'd be
My life isn't where I thought it would be when I was a kid and talked to people online.

When I was a kid on VoIP
When I was a kid and used voice-over-IP technology to chat.

I thought when I get older
I believed that when I grew up.

I'd marry her, I told her
I told her that someday we would get married.

Now I'm twenty-six and I work in an office
Now I'm 26, work in an office, and life's not the best.

Nine 'til five's not the best, I'll be honest
Working from nine to five is not great.

If I could change a single thing
If there's one thing I could change.

I'd make it me and not him
I want to switch places with him.

But he's in your bed, I'm in your Twitch chat
He's lucky to be in your bed, while I'm just chatting with you on Twitch.

I've got the key and he's just a doormat
I'm the one who truly understands you, and he's just a guy you've been hanging out with.

And even though he's got social skills
Just because he can talk to people doesn't mean he's better than me.

That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills
I still have a good job and can take care of you financially.

Anyway, make the most of him
You should enjoy your time with him while it lasts.

'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh
You tend to move on from relationships pretty quickly.

Your new boyfriend's an arsehole
Your new boyfriend is not a great guy.

Yeah, I've met Jared (of course, I've met Jared)
I've met your new boyfriend, Jared.

The one who took you away from me
The guy who stole you from me and my dreams.

You hit it off instantly
You two really connected right from the start.

I know, 'cause you won't stop telling me
I know because you like to talk about him all the time.

I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles
I've seen his body and how fit he is.

Push against his fashion sense
His sense of style is not great.

I've thought about what he looks like nude
I've imagined what he looks like without clothes on, not because I'm gay.

'Cause she's living the dream (living the dream, living the dream)
You're living the dream you had when we were 17.

How on earth could I be saved?
How can I get over you?

When I'm one click away from insane
It's easy for me to do crazy things online because of how close I am to your world.

I just think that I deserve
I deserve some of what you have.

A little bit of what I earned
I want to have the things I think I've earned for all my crushing on you.

I'm not gonna make another scene
I don't want to make a fool of myself again like I did when I was 23.

The one I made when I was twenty-three
That one time when I made a scene and can't enter Disney World.

But he's in your bed and I'm in your Twitch chat
I'm still only chatting with you on Twitch, while he's sleeping with you.

I've got the key and he's just a doormat
I still have the real connection with you, while he's just a secondary thought.

'Cause even though he's got social skills
He thinks he's better than me because he has good social skills.

That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills
Even so, I can still take care of you financially.

Anyway, make the most of him
But enjoy your time with him while it lasts.

'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh
You always seem to find a way to move on from relationships pretty quickly.

Your new boyfriend's an arsehole
In case you haven't realized yet, he's not a good guy for you.

I think about you every day (every day)
I still think about you every day with intense feelings.

So how on earth can I be saved? (can I be saved?)
So how can I ever move on from you?

I think about him a lot as well (I think about him)
I also think about Jared a lot.

Maybe if he wasn't fine as hell (he's really fine as hell)
I might have a chance if he wasn't so good-looking.

'Cause you're beauty
You are an incredible beauty.

And you're grace (and you're grace)
You also have amazing grace.

Your telephone calls are my favorite place
Your phone calls are the place where we connect the most.

And I want you to notice me
I want you to see me and our connection.

With no restraining order, please (Jason Derulo)
I want this to be genuine, without any legal constraints.

Want you to care
I want to feel like you care about me as much as I care about you.

Want to smell your hair
I want to be near you, and I love the way your hair smells.