love you like a big schlong
Willam Lyrics

i like dick a ton,
I enjoy penises greatly,

and some balls, foreskin, and perineum (that's the taint!)
I also appreciate testicles, uncircumcised skin, and the sensitive area between the anus and genitals known as the perineum.

and i guess right now well i'll suck you son
At this moment, I am inclined to perform oral sex on you.

and then call your friends to come dump and run
Afterwards, I may invite others to participate in a casual sexual encounter and then quickly leave.

on them balls i'll hum
While engaging in sexual activities with testicles, I may also produce vocalizations.

if you're hung or cut,
Whether you have a large or small penis,

even small like a Gaysian—but prove me wrong!
Even if you are small in size, like a gay Asian man, I am open to being impressed.

with your cream of some young guy
I would like to partake in the ejaculation of what looks like adolescent semen.

gimme long duck dong (dong dong dong dong)
I am requesting a penis of substantial length.

i even shaved my thighs (so smooth!)
I have taken the time to make my thighs hairless and sleek for your pleasure.

'cause i want you to go down there
I desire your oral stimulation of the area between my legs.

I, I love you like a big schlong baby
I have strong affection for you that is comparable to my appreciation of a large penis.

oh, it's gonna hurt!
The intensity of my feelings may be painful.

and i keep makin' it skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet
I am producing a high volume of semen to reach climax.

no shade, no tea
I am speaking truthfully without attempting to offend or start drama.

i'm a size queen looking for 23 (centimeters!)
I have a preference for large penises, approximately 23 centimeters in length.

want your whole enchilada inside of me (whoa, too spicy!)
I desire your entire penis to be inserted into my body, potentially making me feel overwhelmed.

with no queso please
I prefer to not have smegma, the buildup of oils around the penis, present while engaging in sexual activity.

dick cheese makes me wheeze
I am allergic to the aforementioned smegma and may experience difficulty breathing.

and i also like BBC:
In addition to large penises, I am attracted to penises of a darker skin tone, such as a Big Black Cock.

Big Black Cock please
I would like to have sexual intercourse with someone with a large, dark penis.

if you don't get down
If you are not able to perform sexually,

brothers gather round (c'mere!)
I am welcoming other men, particularly of African descent, to participate in a sexual encounter with me.

what can do for you, fuck me boo, hell bring your crew
I am willing to perform sexual acts for you and your group of friends.

so fun, let me spit my gum
I am excited for the experience and will even dispose of my chewing gum to prepare for it.

Go ahead and stare
You may look at me with physical attraction.

I'll suck 'em all
I am willing to perform oral sex on all members present.

while takin pics on my phone (fuckin' Verizon)
While engaging in the aforementioned activity, I will take photographs using my phone, which has the brand name Verizon.

dickpig from the start, sperm-laden sharts
I have always been attracted to penises, and my body may involuntarily release feces mixed with semen at times of intense stimulation.

oops, i'ma change my thong!
I may have accidentally soiled my undergarments and need to replace them.

(don't be rounding' up!)
I request that you do not exaggerate or overstate your penis size.