coffee
Worm Quartet Lyrics

Sitting in my cubicle
I'm stuck in my workspace

Trying to pass the time
I'm trying to while away my hours

Click the little envelope
Looking for new email

But no new mail's online
There's no new message

My schedule program shows me
My planner displays a long list of tasks

All this crap I have to do
A list of undesirable tasks

A post-it note upon my desk
There's a memo on my desk

Says "Nobody called you"
There's no new phone message

I write myself a reminder note
I make a note to remember

To throw that note away
To remember to dispose of the memo

I check my voice mail even though
I check my voicemail even though

I've been sitting here all day
I've been sitting here all day

It says "You have no messages
No one has left a voicemail

No life no hope no friends"
No one has left a voicemail from anyone or announcement

And You've still got seven hours
I have seven more hours of work

'Til this freakin' workday ends
Until the workday is over

But I can smell salvation
I smell salvation brewing down the hall

It's brewing down the hall
The smell of coffee is coming from the nearby hallway

The percolator sings to me
The sound of percolation called me

And I must heed its call
I must listen to it

As liquid touches styrofoam
The hot liquid touches the foam cup

I feel the steam's sweet kiss
The steam emits a sweet fragrance into the air

And I know I'm just seconds away
I need only a few seconds / minutes for my coffee fix

From caffeinated bliss
I find bliss in caffeine addiction

Coffee coffee coffee
I require coffee to stay alert

To stimulate my brain
It arouses my brain to stay alert

To make me less insane
To reduce my boredom or exhaustion

I used to be a zombie
I used to be emotionless or unconscious

And I'd fall asleep at work
I was falling asleep at work

Now everybody knows me as
Nowadays, I'm known as

The hyperactive jerk
The obnoxious, high-energy guy

Now that I'm Chock full'o'nuts
Chock full'o'nuts is a brand of coffee he bought

My job is just a game!
His job is fun now that he's caffeinated

I open up my phone book and
I open my contacts in my phone

I highlight every name!
I search every name

I bend my paper clips into
I fold paperclips into

The shapes of little men
I make figures out paperclips

I search the net for Amish porn
I search unusual things on the web

I take apart my pen
I disassemble my ball-point pen

I open up the three-hole punch
I open my three-hold paper puncher

And spill holes on the floor
I let paper pieces fall to the floor

I fire staples 'cross the room
I shoot staples at the wall

Til I don't have no more
Until I've used them all up

I laminate my lunch meat
I put my sandwich in a laminating machine

I link my rubber bands
I link rubber bands around my fingers

(Make a) Xerox of my hairy ass
I photocopy my hairy butt

And fax it to Japan
I send it via fax to Japan

And when the buzz starts wearing off
After the caffeine high subsides

And when I'm feeling low
When my energy is low

I pour myself another mug
I refill my coffee

My cup shall overflow
My mug shall be full again

Eleven packs of sugar
Too much sugar in his coffee

And a couple spoons of creamer
With just a little bit of creamer

And I shall receive the gift of life
Caffeine gives him life

From my liquid redeemer
Caffeine is his savior

Come on and drink it up
It's time to finish drinking the coffee

Nirvana in a cup
A heavenly experience through one cup of coffee

I used to be a peon, just a
I was once treated unimportant

Worthless wad of gristle
Unappealing and unwanted

Now I'll never be the same!
Caffeine has altered his energy level

I drink a hundred cups a day
I literally drink too much coffee

Juan Valdez knows my name
He's a regular coffee consumer

These words to me were blasphemy
The boss's words were an offense

I found them just appalling
I found the situation ridiculous

So I kicked that bastard somewhere
I kicked my boss as revenge

That I knew would leave him crawling
I knew my boss would fall

Now I'm jobless homeless on the street
I lost my job and now live outside

You could say I've got hard luck
It's possible to say that he's unlucky

But I've got a gun and now I'm gonna
Now he feels a need to be violent

Go hold up a STarbucks
Rob a Starbucks location

With sugar and with cream
With added sugar, creamer or milk

I even eat the grounds
I consume even the coffee grounds

Now I haven't needed a wink of sleep
The caffeine is powerful

Since 1994
For many years now

(Give me)
Please give me

Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee (x4?)
He wants more coffee