Carry The Weight
Xzibit Lyrics

You see I don't like to remenisce about the past
I prefer not to dwell on my past experiences

The lower class, no clout livin' hand to mouth
I grew up poor and struggled financially

Each and every wrong move the police keep count
The police were always watching and waiting for me to make a mistake

make it real fuckin' easy to get stretched out
It was easy for me to get in trouble with the law

I was at the funeral when it all began
My struggles began when I attended a funeral

You know the painful transition from a boy to men
It was a difficult transition for me to become a man

I lost sight of my mother at the age of nine
My mother passed away when I was nine years old

didn't understand death nearly lost my mind
I struggled to cope with the concept of death and it caused me distress

But see life moves on and broke niggas can't change it
I had to accept that life goes on and my poverty could not be easily overcome

Age ten, new step family arrangement
At ten years old, my family situation changed and I gained a step family

at thirteen, I started gettin' hair on my dick
I began puberty at thirteen

And noticed me and my sister were gettin' treated like shit
My sister and I were mistreated and neglected

I would forever be hit with anything in reach
I was frequently physically abused

Then my father would proceed to go to church and preach
My father was religious and would attend church

about forgiveness, patience all the shit that he lacked
Despite preaching forgiveness and patience, my father did not demonstrate it in his behavior towards us

Gettin' jump when he said and the head gat cracked
I was physically assaulted by my father

physical contact was in form of a slap
My father would often hit me

at the age of fifteen Xzibit now hit back
At fifteen years old, I retaliated against my father physically

courtesy of my stepbrother, who taught me to scrap
My stepbrother taught me how to fight

Left the bitch on the ground with her eyes on black
I severely beat someone who had mistreated me and my sister in the past

Ran away from the house of Teresa and Nate
I ran away from my step family's house

Into juvenile detention where I built up hate
I was sent to juvenile detention and became angry and resentful

I don't remember the date of the judicial debate
I don't remember the specifics of my legal proceedings

but legally I was now in custody of the state
I became a ward of the state

And niggas wonder why I sit up in the club and drink
People wonder why I drink when I'm out at clubs

Say what's up to Xzibit and I still don't speak
Even if someone greets me, I may not respond

I'm trying to contemplate the next move to make
I am constantly considering my next steps

Gotta find some way to release this hate
I need to find a way to let go of my anger

And that was worse than the treatment I was gettin' at home
My later experiences were worse than my childhood abuse

but only now I was fucked up plus all alone
I was both messed up and isolated from my family

My father talkin' all crazy to me over the phone
Even over the phone, my father was abusive and irrational

Turned age sixteen now on my own
At sixteen, I was on my own

Started running with cats who carried gats cause they had too
I began associating with people who carried guns out of necessity

with no hesitation lock load then blast you
These people were not afraid to use their guns

Without a hastle we in a town of hicks
We were in a small town filled with unsophisticated people

fuckin' all these chicks
We were sexually promiscuous

Sellin' rock by the bricks
We were selling drugs in large amounts

so we feelin' like we mothafuckin' Nino Brown
We felt invincible like a powerful movie character

At the house when the mothafuckin' man touched down
We were at home when someone was coming to arrest us

Screamin' demands 'Let me see your goddamn hands (now)'
The police were shouting orders at us

A.T.F. cause of handguns and contraban
The A.T.F. was involved in the case and found illegal items

we never kept it in the house
We did not keep illegal items in our home

So of course we clounded
We were caught and arrested

Only found one pistol took us all down town
The police only found one illegal item but arrested us all

We be out by the end of the afternoon
We expected to be released from custody soon

gettin' drunk on the strip let the system BOOM!
We planned to celebrate our release by drinking

Who would assume Mr. QK would chill with a wife
No one would have expected me to settle down and get married

Ty and Matt caught bodies
My acquaintances Ty and Matt committed murder

Now they spend there life behind bars
They are now serving life sentences in prison

catchin' scars that will not heal
They will be emotionally scarred for the rest of their lives

niggas don't know the half about keepin' it real
People don't understand the reality of living this lifestyle