I Want To Love
Years & YearsCHAP Lyrics

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I got a shadow and he wants me to complain
Our loves thinner than he wanted me to feel
Now I'm fighting hunger, swallowing on scars
Throw me under, tell me what you want
Cause I, I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
I want to love, I want to love I want to love
I want to love, I want to love, I want to love

I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
Everybody told me it was bad to do
I know my reasons, I won't prove myself to you
I'm not the one you should be playing with
I'll tell you what, I won't behave myself again
No, no, I'm never gonna
No, no, I'm never gonna
No, no, I'm never gonna
I'm never gonna learn
I'm never gonna learn
I made a promise to deliver all the crimes
I don't belong to anybody else's lives
I will take your hunger, give you what you want
Pull you under, I will do you harm
Cause I, I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
I want to love, I want to love I want to love
I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
Everybody told me it was bad to do
I know my reasons, I won't prove myself to you
I'm not the one you should be playing with
I'll tell you what, I won't behave myself again
No, no, I'm never gonna
No, no, I'm never gonna
No, no, I'm never gonna
I'm never gonna learn

I'm never gonna learn
I'm never gonna learn

Overall Meaning

In "I Want To Love," Years & YearsCHAP sings about the challenges of finding genuine love and dealing with the lingering doubts and fears that come with it. The song begins with the singer acknowledging the presence of a "shadow," representing their own insecurities and reservations about love. This shadow encourages them to complain and doubt the depth and authenticity of their love - a feeling conveyed with the line, "Our loves thinner than he wanted me to feel." However, the singer is determined to push past these feelings of doubt and fight the hunger for meaningful love, even if it means enduring pain and scars along the way. They say, "I want to love" multiple times, as if to affirm to themselves and to their partner that their desire for love is genuine.

As the song progresses, the singer reflects on the opinions of others who caution against pursuing love or trusting oneself. They assert that they know their own reasons for seeking love and won't prove themselves to anyone else. They also warn their partner not to play with their emotions or underestimate their strength, saying "I'm not the one you should be playing with." Ultimately, the singer admits that they may never fully learn how to love without fear or apprehension, but they are willing to keep trying anyway.

Overall, "I Want To Love" is a poignant and relatable song about the ups and downs of pursuing love and confronting one's own insecurities in the process.

Line by Line Meaning

I got a shadow and he wants me to complain
There is a dark part of me that urges me to dwell on negative things and complain.

Our loves thinner than he wanted me to feel
The love between us is not as strong as I had hoped it would be.

Now I'm fighting hunger, swallowing on scars
I am trying to overcome my desires and bury my painful memories.

Throw me under, tell me what you want
Please be honest with me even if it hurts me. I want to know what you truly feel.

Cause I, I want to love, I want to love, I want to love
All I desire is to love and be loved in return.

Everybody told me it was bad to do
People warned me against acting in a certain way or doing something.

I know my reasons, I won't prove myself to you
I have my justifications for my actions and I am not obligated to prove myself to anyone, including you.

I'm not the one you should be playing with
Do not toy with my emotions or lead me on if you do not intend to commit to me.

I'll tell you what, I won't behave myself again
I will no longer suppress my true feelings or hold back in any way.

I made a promise to deliver all the crimes
I have vowed to expose or confront all the wrongdoings or mistakes that have been made.

I don't belong to anybody else's lives
I refuse to be controlled or influenced by anyone else's opinions, desires, or decisions.

I will take your hunger, give you what you want
I am willing to satisfy your desires or needs even if it means sacrificing my own.

Pull you under, I will do you harm
If you try to harm me or betray my trust, I will retaliate and cause you pain.

No, no, I'm never gonna
I am adamant and determined not to do something that I am being advised against or that goes against my beliefs.

I'm never gonna learn
I will refuse to learn from my mistakes or change my behavior, even if it causes me pain or harm.

Contributed by Austin K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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