As Is
Yes Alexander Lyrics

Darkness comes beneath the dying stars
The darkness of depression arrives when all hope seems lost.

With all the blood and scars
The scars of past wounds deepen the sense of despair.

I'm not gonna hunt you
You are not the cause of my suffering, so there is no need to blame you for it.

With fear, I appear
Even though I am afraid, I try to put on a brave face for others.

Nothing will stop me
I will keep fighting to overcome the illness, even when it seems hopeless.

You crave the creature in me
Despite my struggles, there is still a part of me that is resilient and strong that others may admire.

Shattered, I will capture you
Even when I feel broken, I will use my inner strength to overcome my struggles and take control of my life.

So run
Challenges and struggles may come, but I will meet them head-on with resilience and determination.

My family don't understand what I go through
Despite their best intentions, even those closest to me may not fully comprehend the extent of my illness.

Under diagnosed for 20 years, ain't never broke through
Even after years of searching for answers, there is still so much that doctors and experts do not know about depression and mental illness.

You ever been in such a fog you don't know you?
The feeling of detachment and dissociation from reality can be overwhelming and disorienting.

Never being able to do the shit you're supposed to?
Depression can make even the simplest tasks feel impossible and overwhelming.

There's not an accurate diagnosis to show you
Despite advances in medical technology, there is still much we do not know about the brain and the complexities of mental illness.

Basic neurobiology isn't close to it
Even the most advanced scientific research is still far from understanding the complexities of the brain and mental illness.

I'm watching life as a spectator
Depression can make it difficult to feel truly present and engaged with the world around you.

I can't help myself, even though I possessed data
Even with knowledge and understanding, depression can feel overwhelming and impossible to overcome on your own.

It's not a part of my spirit to want to test nature
Deep down, I do not want to struggle with mental illness and would prefer to be healthy and happy like everyone else.

You think you know what I'm feeling, cousin, then let's wager
Others may believe they understand depression, but only those who suffer from it truly know how it feels.

I'm having trouble retaining new information
Depression can affect cognitive function and make it difficult to remember or learn new things.

Familiar scenes starting to look foreign- derealization
Symptoms of mental illness can make it feel like the world around you is unfamiliar and strange.

Everybody tired of being patient
It can be frustrating for loved ones and caregivers to watch someone they care about suffer from mental illness without being able to solve the problem.

Mama wondering why her baby crying in the basement
Family members may not understand the depths of your suffering and the emotional toll it takes on you.

Constant rumination just exacerbates it
Obsessing over negative thoughts can make depression and other mental health issues worse.

To the point where I can't even barely narrate it
Depression can make it difficult or impossible to express your feelings and emotions in a coherent, meaningful way.

I've had doctors tell me that my mind is fascinating
Medical professionals may find the complexities of mental illness intriguing, but that does not make the struggle any less difficult or real for the individual suffering.

But they can't tell me why the sickness has been activated
While doctors and experts may understand some of the causes and triggers of mental illness, there is still much that is not fully understood or explained.

My head don't work, the meds don't work
Despite efforts to treat depression with medication, this may not always be effective and can be frustrating for those struggling with mental health issues.

But I don't want to be dead, dead don't work
Despite the challenges of depression, suicide is not a viable solution and should not be considered as such.

Sleep's the cousin of death, the bed don't work
Sleep can become difficult and elusive for those suffering from depression, making it feel like even the most basic comforts are not helpful.

Maybe I'd rather be dead; dead don't hurt
The pain and suffering of depression can feel unbearable, but ending one's life is not a solution and ultimately only creates more pain for those left behind.

Realization of an inherent emptiness
Depression can cause a deep sense of emptiness and sadness that is difficult to overcome.

Maybe that's another sin for the pessimist
Depression can make it feel like everything is doomed and hopeless, leading to a negative outlook on life.

Possibly I am a jinn with a exorcist
Depression and mental illness can feel like a demonic presence that is impossible to shake or exorcise.

I've fallen because I've been on the precipice
Depression can make it feel like you are constantly on the edge of a crisis, despite efforts to stay afloat.

Maybe it's my mama's possible regret
Family members may feel guilty or responsible for your struggles with mental illness, even if they could not have prevented them.

Maybe it's a neurological neglect
While the causes of depression and mental illness are not fully understood, there may be a connection to neurological factors.

Maybe it's the reason why water's wet
The root causes of mental illness are elusive and difficult to pinpoint, leaving many unanswered questions for those who suffer from them.

The angular gyrus and where the frontal lobe connect
There may be a physical and physiological explanation for some of the symptoms associated with mental illness, but these are not yet fully understood or explained.

But maybe I'm being too complicated for you
It can be difficult to explain the complex and overwhelming nature of mental illness to those who have not experienced it firsthand.

Maybe I should just be calm and explain it to you
While it may be difficult, sometimes the best way to help others understand mental illness is to calmly and honestly explain your struggles to them.

The psychiatrist thinking they could fool you
Even medical professionals may not fully understand or be able to treat the complexities of mental illness and may feel overwhelmed or helpless in the face of these challenges.

Paxel, Zoloft, it's just wasteful to you
While medication can be helpful for some people struggling with depression or other mental health issues, it is not always effective or desirable for everyone.

I've tried meditation, tried to sit in silence
While some approaches to mental illness, like meditation or mindfulness, can be helpful for some people, they are not always effective for everyone.

But how the fuck that help a neurochemical imbalance?
While some therapies and treatments may be helpful for alleviating symptoms of depression, they do not necessarily address the underlying biology of the illness.

Why would you tell a person that they were childish
Stigmatizing mental illness can be hurtful and counterproductive, making it harder for people to seek help or understand their symptoms.

Without an understanding of the pain that they surround in?
Without firsthand experience with depression or mental illness, it can be difficult to understand the depths of the pain and suffering that this causes.

I always feel foggy somatic detachment
Depression can cause a sense of detachment and disorientation from one's body and surroundings, making it difficult to feel truly present or engaged with the world.

It's like my body isn't connected to actions
Symptoms of mental illness can make it difficult to perform even the simplest actions or to feel like your body is in sync with your mind.

It destroys everything that's affected the fragments
Depression can have profound and far-reaching effects on every aspect of one's life, from social relationships to work and personal fulfillment.

I don't have nothing but senses and sadness
Depression can make it feel like even the most basic joys or pleasures in life are lost, leaving you with only sadness and despair.