Overture
Zager & Evans Lyrics

My name is Benjy Stone and 1954 was my favorite year
Benjy is introducing himself and stating that while it may not have been his most successful year, it holds a special place in his heart.

It's the year that separated my life into before and after
1954 marked a significant turning point in Benjy's life.

You see, in 1954 I made the jump from smartass kid
Benjy transitioned from being a trouble-making kid to something more professional.

from the deli pushing a joke with every cruller to Freshman Writer on TV's hottest show
Benjy used to work in a deli making jokes all the time, but now he's a freshman writer on the most-watched TV show.

The King Kaiser Comedy Cavalcade and every Saturday night at 8 pm we went on the air live!
Benjy is now a writer for The King Kaiser Comedy Cavalcade, which airs every Saturday at 8 pm.

God, once, just once I wanted to sneak in and diddle the clocks
Benjy desires to sneak into the studio and change the time so that the show can air five minutes earlier.

so we'd go on the air five minutes early so America would see the show before the show
Benjy's plan is to air the show five minutes early so that it can be seen before the scheduled time.

But back then, they were a lot more careful about violence on television
During that time, shows were more cautious with depictions of violence on television.

Aaah!
This doesn't have a clear meaning, but appears to be an exclamation of frustration or stress.

I'm missing a button
Benjy realizes that he's missing a button on his shirt.

This is crap!
Benjy is disappointed with the current situation, likely the quality of a script or preparations for the show.

Who's missing the last two pages?
Benjy is asking for information on the location of missing script pages.

They told me the caveman sketch was out
Benjy was informed that the caveman sketch will not be included in the show.

Would somebody shoot me!
Benjy is exasperated with the situation and jokingly asks for someone to shoot him.

Total crap!
Benjy is further expressing his disappointment with the current state of affairs.

Who ordered the black new sugar?
Someone ordered an unusual type of sugar and Benjy is questioning who did so.

Together now, 5, 6, 7, 8!
This is a standard call used to prepare the cast for a performance.

Five minutes to go
The show will begin in five minutes.

From Twenty million people No, twenty million plus Twenty million plus Americans watching us Curling up on sofas Calling in their pets Passing out the popcorn Turning on their television sets Twenty million ordinary folks And your careers go down the drain if they don't like the jokes
Over 20 million people are tuning in to watch the show, and if they don't like the jokes the cast could potentially suffer in their careers.

Ninety little minutes to get by In front of twenty million people Tonight!
The cast has ninety minutes to put on a show in front of millions of people.

That's King Kaiser, star of Comedy Cavalcade A great guy
King Kaiser is the lead of the show and is apparently well-liked.

This is Crap! Honest And these are my fellow writers Sy Benson, Headwriter, also known as the ulcer who walks like a man And here's Alice Miller and Herb Lee, two people joined at the funny bone Sy, these jokes are old enough to vote
The quality of the preparation is disappointing but the other writers, Sy Benson, Alice Miller, and Herb Lee, are introduced.

You gotta make some cuts No cuts! Nobody touches my material! Nobody!
Sy Benson is insisting on making cuts to jokes, but King Kaiser is refusing to let anyone change the material.

Sy, you cut those dogs out of the monologue yet? Dead and gone, King Baby!
Sy Benson informs King Kaiser that he has removed a particular section of the script already.

Twenty million reasons We're guaranteed to bomb Twenty million small catastrophes But we're calm Facing every challenge Performing at our peak Ninety little minutes up the creek In front of twenty million people
The cast knows that they have to perform for over 20 million people and that there is a high risk of disaster. Despite this knowledge, they remain focused and committed to giving their all during the performance.

KC Downing, assistant to the producer She's nuts about me KC, we all set for out regular date after the show?
KC Downing is an assistant to the producer and is interested in Benjy romantically. Benjy is asking if they have plans for a date after the show.

Regular date, we don't have a regular date We had one date, at which you completely humiliated me I thought you liked my walrus impression I was planning to eat those breadsticks! I am love with the bread girl
KC clarifies that there is no 'regular date', and Benjy remembers that they had one date which didn't go well. There was apparently some awkwardness surrounding a walrus impression, and Benjy admits to being enamored with someone else.

It felt like paradise It felt like war It felt like It felt like 1954 It was the best time I'd ever known My first jokes were on the air My first credits shining there Benjy Stone Benjy Stone Benjy!
Benjy reflects on his experiences so far, likening it to both ecstasy and a battle, but ultimately stating that 1954 was the best year of his life due to his growth as a writer.

Stop! The telephone Hello Benjamin Darling, this is your mother Mom, it's almost show time I'm calling only to remind you're coming here for dinner tomorrow night
As Benjy is preparing for the show, his mother calls to remind him about a dinner appointment the next day.

Yeah, I know You bringing cake? Oh, mom I'm kinda busy now Cause if you are I'll tell Rookie that he shouldn't stop at Coverment's when he picks up the newspaper in the morning I'll bring cake, okay Fruit or Crumb Whatever you want Benjamin Darling, I want whatever you want Crumb Fruit would be better Fruit
Benjy agrees to bring cake for the dinner but exchanges banter with his mother regarding the type of cake being brought.

Oi-oi-oi! The show is coming on I can't talk right now Kisses Benjamin, Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! Mwah, mwah, mwah!
As the show is about to begin, Benjy hangs up on his mother who plants a few kisses on him over the phone.

I need a new zipper! This is Crap! Who's missing the last two pages?! Oh my God!! They told me they cut King Tut last night Oh my God!! Would somebody shoot me here and now! If only we had another week Together now, 5, 6, 7, 8! One minute to go!
As the start of the show draws closer, Benjy is getting more and more stressed as various issues arise such as a broken zipper, missing pages, and elimination of a skit. He expresses a desire to be put out of his misery before the show begins and bemoans the lack of time to address these problems.

God, what a show! Twenty million people Expecting something great Twenty million? Places everyone! It's too late! Let the costumes fit God Please keep me on the staff Make the show a hit God Most of all, God, let the people laugh Twenty awful seconds to prepare You hold your breath You pray for death And then you're on the air!
As the show is about to start, Benjy and the cast are hoping everything goes well. They all take a moment to pray for the success of the show and then prepare to go on-stage.

Ninety little minutes to survive In front of twenty million people 5, 4, 3, 2 Welcome to The King Kaiser Comedy Cavalcade Live!
The show has started and the cast faces the daunting task of performing for ninety minutes in front of over twenty million viewers.