Nika Roza Danilova was raised in Merrill, Wisconsin, on over 100 acres of forest. Danilova started singing early on, buying voice lesson tapes and opera sheet music at the age of 7; soon she began working with a vocal coach. It was not her parents' idea: "I begged them to do it. For some reason, I really wanted to sing opera even though I wasn't really exposed to it as a kid. I think my little baby toddler mind heard some opera song and then became fixated on how powerful it sounded," she later remembered. Danilova started performing opera when she was 10 years old, but experienced serious psychological difficulties. "I would too often lose my voice before performances due to anxiety, and was so hard on myself. I would beat myself up about any imperfections or flaws in my voice. I was such a perfectionist, and my voice was still so young so it couldn't do everything I wanted it to, and I resented myself for that. But since performing as Zola Jesus it's been getting easier," she later recalled.
In her teens, Danilova started to experiment in a more rock-orientated format. By naming her alter ego after Jesus Christ and the French writer Émile Zola she said she consciously wanted to alienate peers. "It worked perfectly – a lot of people wouldn't even say Zola Jesus because they thought it was sacrilegious", she said in an interview. "Using Jesus in my name isn't necessarily supposed to be a strong statement. I respect religion and I know people do need it, but it's a weird phenomenon in our world. It's so weird," she later commented. Inspired by favorites like Ian Curtis, Lydia Lunch, Diamanda Galás, Throbbing Gristle and Swans (but also bubblegum pop and classical aria), she started to record at home, using keyboards, drum machines and "anything else she had on hand". In 2008 she debuted with singles "Poor Sons" on Die Stasi and "Soeur Sewer" on Sacred Bones Records.
In 2009, while still studying at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Zola Jesus recorded (in her apartment) and released her debut full-length album The Spoils. The sound was in a certain way dependent on her surroundings. "I usually record in the winter because I am holed up. It's cold outside but warm inside with the heater and blankets. A lot of the songs are cold but in the coldness you find warmth. Winter has a lot to do with it.
Zola Jesus released an EP titled Stridulum in 2010, described as her most melodic work to date. Inspired by the Giulio Paradisi 1979 film of the same name, it marked "a huge leap forward in terms of fidelity and accessibility." After the release Zola Jesus performed at the SXSW festival, for her second time. Her second full-length album Stridulum II, which was an extension of the EP regarded as a debut in the UK, received 8/10 from NME which praised Danilova's classically trained voice as "the deadliest weapon in her arsenal" and called the album a "dark masterpiece."
Zola Jesus' third full-length Conatus was released in late September 2011 via Sacred Bones. The album's 11 tracks were produced by Brian Foote (aka Nudge; Jackie-O Motherfucker, Cloudland Canyon) and Danilova herself, including elements of cello, double bass, violin, and viola.
Zola Jesus has played with Former Ghosts and toured in support of Fever Ray and The xx. She also provides guest vocals on "New France" from their 2012 album Wonky.
Collapse
Zola Jesus Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Owning stares
All around you, all around you, let them crawl
Pull my hair
'cause it hurts me, oh it hurts to let you in
In the citadel
The pieces
And it hurts me, oh it hurts to let you in
In the dawn of my wake
In the calm of my state
Oh it hurts me, yes it hurts to let you in
But I won't make a sound
When the crowd comes to call
Oh 'cause it hurts me, oh it hurts to let you in
Yeah it hurts, oh it hurts to let you in
And I would be nothing, yeah I would be nothing
With your fear
'Cause I've no war
The day it wears thin
And I've got no war
The day you go away
Oh it hurts me, yes it hurts to let you in
Oh it kills me, oh and I don't wanna give it in anymore
No I don't, no I don't wanna give it in anymore
And I don't wanna give it in anymore
No, no, no, no
The lyrics of "Collapse" by Zola Jesus; J.G. Thirlwell; the Mivos Quartet convey a sense of inner turmoil and struggle. The song starts with the lines "Drown the stale, Owning stares, All around you, all around you, let them crawl". These lines suggest a feeling of being trapped and suffocated by one's surroundings, while also being observed and judged by others. The next lines, "Pull my hair 'cause it hurts me, oh it hurts to let you in", convey a desire to be vulnerable and open, despite the pain and discomfort it causes.
The chorus of the song repeats the line "Oh it hurts me, yes it hurts to let you in", emphasizing the difficulty of letting go of one's defenses and allowing oneself to be seen and known. The lyrics also touch upon the fear of losing oneself in a relationship, with the lines "And I would be nothing, yeah I would be nothing, With your fear". The song concludes with a sense of resignation and a desire to move on, with the lines "And I've got no war, The day you go away, Oh it hurts me, yes it hurts to let you in".
Overall, the lyrics of "Collapse" describe the struggles of a person trying to connect with others while also protecting themselves from hurt and pain.
Line by Line Meaning
Drown the stale
Eliminate the stagnant, lifeless energy
Owning stares
Taking control of the held gazes
All around you, all around you, let them crawl
Allowing the crawling presence that surrounds you to remain
Pull my hair
Inflict physical pain upon me
'cause it hurts me, oh it hurts to let you in
Expressing the emotional pain caused by vulnerability
In the citadel
Within the fortress
Recall the pieces
Remembering the broken fragments
The pieces
The shattered remnants
And it hurts me, oh it hurts to let you in
Reiterating the emotional pain of vulnerability
In the dawn of my wake
During the early morning of awakening
In the calm of my state
In the peacefulness of my being
Oh it hurts me, yes it hurts to let you in
Echoing the emotional burden of vulnerability
But I won't make a sound
Choosing to suffer in silence
When the crowd comes to call
In the presence of others
Oh 'cause it hurts me, oh it hurts to let you in
Emphasizing the struggle of opening up to someone
Yeah it hurts, oh it hurts to let you in
Repeatedly conveying the difficulty of vulnerability
And I would be nothing, yeah I would be nothing
Implying personal insignificance
With your fear
Referring to the fear imposed by another
'Cause I've no war
Stating the lack of internal conflict
The day it wears thin
The point when patience runs out
And I've got no war
Continuing the theme of internal peace
The day you go away
When someone leaves
Oh it hurts me, yes it hurts to let you in
Repeating the emotional upheaval caused by vulnerability
Oh it kills me, oh and I don't wanna give it in anymore
Conveying the extent of emotional exhaustion
No I don't, no I don't wanna give it in anymore
Refusing to continue the emotional strain
And I don't wanna give it in anymore
Reiterating the desire to end the struggle
No, no, no, no
An emphatic refusal to continue the current path
Lyrics © TERRORBIRD PUBLISHING LLC
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