Problems
ilovememphis Lyrics

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I empathize with you if you are experiencing troubles with a woman

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
I face many challenges, but dealing with a difficult woman is not one of them

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
I am well-protected by both my crew and weapons

Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
I have enemies who want me dead

Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"
Critics accuse me of focusing only on money, cash, and women

I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those
I come from the ghetto, so those accusations are baseless

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
If you came from poverty and had shoes filled with holes

You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough
You'd be happy as soon as you started making money

I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
I don't care about the opinions of critics; they can go to hell

If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
You are free to skip my music if you don't enjoy it

Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
I have a problem with radio stations that won't play my music

They don't play my hits well I don't give a shit SO
If they won't play my popular songs, I don't care

Rap mags try and use my black ass
Magazines try to exploit my race for their own gain

So advertisers can give em more cash for ads... fuckers
Advertisers benefit magazine companies by giving them more money for ads

I don't know what you take me as
I'm not sure what impression you have of me

or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
You may not realize how intelligent and talented I am, like Jay-Z

I'm from rags to riches nigga I ain't dumb
I may have started with nothing, but I'm not stupid

The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw
It's 1994 and I have drugs in my car trunk

In my rear view mirror is the mother fucking law
The police are following me

I got two choices yall pull over the car or
I have two options: stop the car or flee

bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor
I choose to flee at high speed

Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with jake
I don't want to be involved in a high-speed police chase

Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case
I have enough money to fight any legal case that may result from this

So I... pull over to the side of the road
I ultimately decide to stop the car

And I heard "Son do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
The police officer asks why I was stopped

Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
I assume it's because I'm young, black, and wearing a low hat

Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
I don't know why I'm being stopped; I can't read minds

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo?
I'm not sure if I'm being arrested or if there's more to it

"Well you was doing fifty five in a fifty four"
The officer tells me I was barely speeding

"License and registration and step out of the car"
The officer asks for my license and registration, and to exit the car

"Are you carrying a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"
The officer asks if I'm carrying a weapon, knowing many people are

I ain't stepping out of shit all my papers legit
I refuse to exit the car; all my documents are legal

"Do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"
The officer asks for permission to search my car

Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
I refuse to consent to a search; my glove compartment, trunk, and back are locked

And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
I am aware of my legal rights; the officer will need a warrant to search

"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?"
The officer is impressed with my knowledge and asks if I'm a lawyer

"Or somebody important or something?"
The officer wonders if I'm someone with influence or importance

Nah I ain't passed the bar but I know a little bit
I'm not a lawyer, but I have some legal knowledge

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
I have enough knowledge to know when my rights are being violated

"Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come"
The officer threatens to bring dogs to search my car

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
I face many challenges, but dealing with a difficult woman is not one of them

Now once upon a time not too long ago
At some point in the recent past

A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe
I had to use force to control a woman

This is not a hoe in the sense of having a pussy
When I say 'hoe,' I don't simply mean a woman with a vagina

But a pussy having no God Damn sense, try and push me
I mean a woman with no common sense who tries to provoke me

I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord
I tried to avoid conflict and pray for patience

Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
I pray for him so that he won't keep acting foolishly

You know the type loud as a motor bike
You know the type: loud and obnoxious

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
But when it comes down to it, they won't actually fight

The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clapping
If a fight does break out, I'll resort to using my gun

He and his boys gon' be yapping to the captain
His friends will go snitch to authorities

And there I go trapped in the kit kat again
I'll be arrested and stuck in jail again

Back through the system with the riff raff again
I'll be back in the system with other troublemakers

Fiends on the floor scratching again
Drug addicts will be scratching on the floor

Paparazzi's with they cameras snapping them
Photographers will take photos of me

D.A. tried to give the nigga the shaft again
The district attorney tried to unfairly punish me

Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African
I had to pay half a million dollars for bail due to my race

All because this fool was harrassin' them
It all happened because of the foolish man who harassed me

Trying to play the boy like hes saccarin
He was trying to manipulate me

But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I am not soft; I am willing to use my gun

I got 99 problems but being a bitch ain't one
I face many challenges, but being a cowardly person is not one of them

It's your boy
The song ends with the artist acknowledging himself