This Can't Be Life /Explicit Version
jay-z beanie sigel Lyrics

See I was, born in sewage, born to make bomb music
I came from a difficult and low situation but I have talent to make great music.

Flow tight like I was born Jewish
My flow is so smooth it seems like I was born with the natural rhythm of Jewish music.

Used the streets as a conduit, I kept arms
I used the streets to connect me to people and I always kept a gun with me.

38 longs inside my mom's buick
I always carried a .38 long gun in my mom's car.

At any given moment shawn could lose it, be on the news
My friend Shawn was always at risk of losing control and making headlines.

Iron cuffs, arms through it, or stuffed with embalmin fluid
He could end up arrested, in handcuffs, or even dead.

Shit, I'm going through it, mom dukes too
I'm going through a lot of tough times right now, and it's hard on my mother too.

Tears streamin down her pretty face, she got her palms to it
She's crying and holding her hands to her face in distress.

My life is gettin too wild
My life is spiraling out of control.

I need to bring some sort kinda calm to it
I need to find a way to bring some peace into my chaotic life.

Bout to lose it voices screaming "don't do it!"
I'm about to lose control and people are shouting at me to calm down.

It's like '93, '94, bout the year That big and mag dropped; and "illmatic" rocked Outta every rag drop, and the west had it locked
It was a memorable time in hip hop, with Biggie and Tupac leading the scene and Nas's "Illmatic" album was very popular.

Everybody doing 'em, I'm still scratchin on the block
Everyone else is finding success in the industry while I'm still hustling and struggling on the streets.

Like "damn, I'ma be a failure"
I feel like I'm not going to make it and will be a failure.

Surrounded by thugs, drugs, and drug, paraphernalia
I'm surrounded by drugs, weapons, and other criminal items.

Cops courts, and their thoughts is to derail us
The police and courts are trying to stop us and prevent us from succeeding.

Three time felons in shorts with jealous thoughts
There are people with criminal records who want to see us fail.

Tryin figure where your mail is, guesstimate the weight you sellin
They're even trying to find out where we live and estimate how much drugs we're selling.

So they can send shots straight to your melon wait!
They want to shoot us in the head.

It gets worse, baby momma water burst
Things get even worse when my baby mama's water breaks prematurely.

Baby came out stillborn, still I gotta move on
Unfortunately, the baby was stillborn, but I still have to find a way to continue living.

Though my heart still torn, life gone from her womb
Even though my heart is broken, the life that was growing inside her is gone.

Don't worry, if it was meant to be, it'll be, soon
I try to console myself by believing that if something is meant to happen, it will eventually.

This can't be life, this can't be love
I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, and this can't be what true love and life is all about.

This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us
I know there must be more to life and to love and this can't be all we are.

Second oldest born, from Michelle brown my mother
I am the second oldest child of my mother Michelle Brown.

Hell bound, grew with two sisters and one brother
I grew up in a challenging environment with two sisters and one brother.

Pop wasn't around, so many stories that's another
My father was not there and that's a whole other story.

I'm thinking damn, how my older sister gon' make me tougher
I'm wondering how my older sister is going to make me stronger in this difficult situation.

When steel sharpens steel, I'ma keep it real
I believe that tough situations make you stronger, and I always try to be honest.

I'm tired of trying to hide my pain behind the syrups and pills
I'm sick of trying to cover up my pain with drugs and medication.

Dead to the world, stretched out like a corpse for real
I feel so numb and lifeless that I might as well be dead.

Y'all niggaz thinking what y'all reading in the source is real
You guys think that everything you read in The Source magazine is true.

What my life like, you looking at the source, it's real
The truth about my life can be found in the reality of my situation.

What your life like? mine dog, of course it's real
What about your life? Mine is definitely real.

Passin judgment, you niggaz second-guessin beans
You're judging me and doubting my abilities.

Cause you don't eat swine don't make you amin
Just because you don't eat pork doesn't make you morally superior.

Dog you know a couple suras, out the qur'an
You may know a few passages from the Quran.

I guess you all on your deen and I ain't on mine
I guess you're more religious than I am.

Stop that akki, 'fore I send shots though your body
Stop talking like you're better than me before I hurt you.

Make 'em feel feel hell on earth before allah drop thee
I'll make you experience the worst possible life before God punishes you.

I feel the line's drawn here, nuttin more can stop me
I'm at my limit and nothing can prevent me from doing what I feel is necessary.

Till them feds pick me up, or them boys pop me
I won't stop until I'm caught by the police or killed by my enemies.

There's only three things that make mac not act like beans
There are only three things that make me stop being tough like Beans.

Amatullah tisha, po aldin, samir amin
My three children - Amatullah, Tisha, and Po Aldin - are the only things that can soften my heart.

My seeds dog, gotta teach 'em that before I leave dog
I have to teach my children everything I know before I die.

Shit I know that I'ma see 'em when I leave dog
I know I'll see them again when I die.

I come back in the afterlife
I believe in life after death.

Like fuck it I done touched hell twice what's the meanin?
I've been through so much pain and hardship that I feel like I've already experienced the worst possible life.

Now as I walk into the studio, to do this with jig'
As I walk into the studio with Jay-Z to record this song...

I got a phone call from one of my nigs
I received a phone call from one of my friends.

Said my homeboy reek, he just lost one of his kids
My friend Reek just lost one of his children.

And when I heard that I just broke into tears
I was so upset that I started crying.

And see in the second hand you don't really know how this is
You can't understand how someone feels unless you've gone through it.

But when it hits that close to home you feel the pain at the crib
But when it happens to someone you're close to, you really feel the pain.

So I called mine, and saddened my wife with the bad news
So I called my wife and told her the tragic news.

Now we both depressed, countin our blessings cause brad's two
Now we're both sad and trying to focus on the good things in our lives, including our two healthy children.

Prayin for young souls to laugh at life through the stars
We're praying for the souls of the lost children to be happy and free in the afterlife.

Lovin your kids just like you was ours
We love Reek's kids as if they were our own.

And I'm hurtin for you dog, but ain't nobody pain is like yours
I feel your pain, but no one can truly understand your pain except for you.

I just know that heaven'll open these doors
But I believe that the gates of heaven will welcome your child.

And ain't no bright side to losin life but you can view it like this
There's no positive side to losing a life, but you can try to find meaning in it.

God's got open hands homey, he in the midst, of good company
God is waiting with open arms, surrounded by good people.

Who loves all and hates not one
God loves everyone and doesn't hate anyone.

And one day you gon' be wit your son
Someday you will be reunited with your child in heaven.

I could've rapped about my hard times on this song
I could have made this song about my own struggles.

But heaven knows I woulda been wrong
But I know that would have been the wrong thing to do.

I wouldn'ta been right, it wouldn'ta been love
It wouldn't have been the right thing to do and it wouldn't have been a show of love.

It wouldn'ta been life, it wouldn'ta been us
It wouldn't have been a reflection of our lives or who we are.