I’ve Got Some Living To Do
jelani aryeh Lyrics

Busy compensating for the lack
I'm so preoccupied with trying to make up for what I'm lacking that I can't focus on anything else.

I don't see myself the way you see me, is that bad?
I don't have a clear sense of my own identity or worth, and I'm worried that this is a negative thing.

If hell's a state of mind, then why is Satan on my back?
I feel like I'm constantly struggling against negative thoughts and emotions that are weighing me down and holding me back.

I'm sinking through the floor
I feel like I'm drowning under the weight of my own problems and worries.

Solitary nigga at his core
I'm fundamentally isolated from other people, and it's hard for me to connect with them on a deeper level.

Hollow-hearted, shallow breathing, sitting at the shore
I feel emotionally empty and physically exhausted, as if I'm just barely clinging to the edge of some vast, indifferent ocean.

Spirit, can you hear me? I don't think I can endure
I'm reaching out to some higher power or guiding force, hoping for a sign or a way to cope with my struggles.

Will I grow old and mature?
I'm unsure of whether or not I'll ever be able to move past my current troubles and develop into a more stable and fulfilled person.

Tore me apart
Something has completely shattered my sense of self and left me feeling lost and broken inside.

And punctured fucking holes in my heart
I feel deeply wounded and hurt by something that's happened in my life, and it's left lasting scars on my emotional wellbeing.

I'm sitting out here soulless, that's all
I feel as if I've lost touch with my own soul or inner spirit, and I'm just going through the motions of existing without any real purpose or joy.

I thought the world was wonderful, I thought
I used to have a more positive and optimistic view of the world, but something has shattered that idealism and left me feeling disillusioned.

How many defeats can I afford?
I'm worried about how much more I can handle in terms of setbacks or negative experiences before I completely crumble under the pressure.

Standing on my feet is not so easy anymore
I feel physically and emotionally drained, and the simplest tasks or challenges can feel impossible to overcome.

Yes, I feel more free and have the courage to explore
Despite my struggles, I'm aware that I've grown in some ways and become more daring or adventurous in my own life.

But currently, I'm beat and bored
Despite any moments of inspiration or excitement, I'm still struggling to find a sense of purpose or fulfillment in my day-to-day existence.

Where the hell is everybody at?
I feel lonely and disconnected from other people, wondering why no one seems to understand or care about my struggles.

Everyone my age is off at college in a class
I feel left behind or out of sync with my peers, who seem to be progressing in their lives while I'm stuck in place.

I'll go unacknowledged, watching life behind the glass
I feel invisible and insignificant, just an observer of the world around me without any real impact or influence on it.

I'm never really sure anymore
I'm plagued by constant doubt and uncertainty, never quite sure of myself or my place in the world.

Shallow breathing, sitting at the shore
I'm struggling to catch my breath, feeling suffocated or overwhelmed by my own problems and anxieties.

And mature, mature
Despite all my struggles and uncertainties, I still hold out hope that someday I'll become a better, more fully realized version of myself.