JoGa (born 5 August 1984) is an American composer, recording artist, and pe… Read Full Bio ↴JoGa (born 5 August 1984) is an American composer, recording artist, and performer. He grew up in Watchung New Jersey, graduated from Watchung Hills Regional High School in 2002, and graduated from Harvard College in 2005. He moved to the East Village in 2007 and currently performs as singer and guitarist for rock ensemble "The Second Nature" (with Roboray on drums). In addition to performing with "The Second Nature", he has recorded with singer LiliAna Rose on several releases in 2008 and 2009. An avid filmmaker, JoGa has recently announced plans to release the feature-length independent films 'Dopeland' in 2020. His music can be found at http://jogajungle.wordpress.com and http://www.youtube.com/dopeland2020

"Dopeland" is a musical epic centered around a local weirdo framed for the kidnapping of two young girls. Forced to go on the lam, he eventually uncovers an international harem operated by dirty old men and their apologists.

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MIDLIFE CRISIS
jogabot Lyrics

No lyrics text found for this track.

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@psychacks

23w↑140

The stereotypical midlife crisis looks like a man leaving his wife and kids, buying a sports car, and shacking up with a younger lover. What causes this phenomenon? And why does it mostly seem to impact men? In this episode, I argue that the men most at risk for midlife crises are the rule-following and duty-conscious sort, who have spent most of their conscious lives acting responsibly. To avoid this outcome, it's important for men to practice what I call "creative selfishness," and to enjoy the fruits of their labor along the way.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #men #mentalhealth

@citizenpunx

22w↑16

I had a gnarly one at 32 but I made sure to do it before I had a spouse or children it would negatively effect.

Left a hospital administration role I had been at for 10 years. Sick of the stress and office life/work life balance completely thrown out of the window.

I listened to every single person other than myself about what “I” really wanted from life.

Broke up with my girlfriend, kicked her out of my condo, sold the condo and moved to an island.

Joined the Army National Guard and became a Deputy Sheriff instead after taking 2 years off and solo traveling/smashing the gym. Pissed a lot of people off but I quite literally saved myself.

Looking back I now see this less as a crisis, and more of a way I saved myself.

@tonybantu9427

23w

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. YOUR CASE IS EASY, SINCE YOU ARE AN EARLY ACHIEVER@30. GREAT. IF YOU DONT OWN A HOUSE ALREADY, GRAB THAT ASSET NOW, BEFORE YOU DO CARS. (VERY IMPORTANT)

1) YOU SAID YOU INVESTED, SO KEEP IT UP. SPEND ONLY FROM YOUR RESIDUAL INCOME (YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW THIS)

2) BUY ALL THE EXTRA STUFF TO SUITE YOUR PASSION, BUT WITHIN REASONABLE LIMIT. AND MAINTAIN A GOOD CREDIT RATING.

3) ENTERTAIN YOURSELF AND DATE SEVERAL LADIES. YOU MUST SAMPLE THEM IN REAL TIME TO LEARN FEMALE NATURE AND HOW TO WIN WITH LADIES

4) YOU HAVE UP TO 5-7 YEARS TO CATCH UP ON FUN STREET, THEN GRACEFULLY QUIT BY THE AGE OF 38.

5) BY 38 YOU HAVE ZEROED IN ON ONE OR TWO PROSPECTS OUT OF THE MANY LADIES YOU ROUTINELY DATED INTIMATELY.

6) WHEN YOU DECIDE TO TIE THE KNOT, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL MUST BE GRACED WITH A PRENUP OR NO DEAL. A CONTRACT WITHOUT EARLY TERMINATION AGREEMENT IS A SCAM. DONT GRAB FRUSTRATION WITH BOTH HANDS BY IGNORING THIS PARTICULAR CAVEAT.

IT IS INDEED A MAN'S WORLD WHEN YOU GET TO PLAY YOUR CARDS WELL.

@kellygreenii

23w↑3

Men are conditioned to sacrifice themselves for others, and to deny their feelings.

At age 28 I had everything I was TOLD I should want…but I was miserable and suffering from a major depression. Why? Trying to run from my family demons had finally exhausted me….

…and I had scrambled up the ladder of success, only to realize it was up against the wrong wall.

My voice that told me who I was and what I wanted for myself had been silenced…then commandeered to serve the needs of others. I was living the life they wanted and needed from me. Not what I wanted and needed.

So the wheels eventually fell off.

I was fortunate enough to have it all fall apart early enough to course correct…then start to face down the demons. But other men go much longer and farther on in self-denial and lack of self-care before the facade finally cracks.

All comments from YouTube:

@psychacks

23w↑140

@ronaldchagoury-africainves968

23w↑19

I call it mid life awakening for men, and mid life crisis for women

@jim-se5xc

23w↑2

So good. One of your best.

@jim-se5xc

23w↑8

The psychologist Robert A. Johnson was recalling a time when he was ten. 'My mother brought me to buy some new clothes. The shopkeeper asked me what I would like. 'White shirt, black pants and black shoes,' I said. The shop keeper looked to my mother and said, 'Careful, or he'll be wearing roaring red at forty.'

@t28mcd

23w↑15

I guess you just eventually get sick of working your ass off but having no fun and decide to enjoy yourself a little while you can!

@ZelenoJabko

23w↑1

Ryan Terraband, can you please tell me how to prevent mid life crisis as a man at 30 currently?

18 More Replies...

@Haz2288

23w↑2.1K

Another simple explanation: It's the first time in the guys life where he can actually buy a sports car and date young women. Young men haven't build up the money or lifestyle yet. You think a 22 year old guy wouldn't buy a BMW and take trips with a 22 year old woman if he could?

@max224422

23w↑147

Facts

@matrices3987

23w↑11

TITCR

@momoali6715

23w↑105

The simplest answer IS often the best

@max224422

23w↑75

@@momoali6715 Orion’s explanation is more robust (less simple), and happens to be way more each accurate and precise. It’s a thing. The simple matters, but Orion hit something I’ve never properly seen up to now.

@momoali6715

23w

@@max224422 that why he does what hé does and not me 😅

121 More Replies...

@xanthippus9079

23w↑1.4K

Interesting how society sees a man having a fun hobby as a "crisis".

@hubertcumberdale2651

23w↑165

I call it mid-life reawakeining

@jayare2583

23w↑251

Because society does not want men happy

@myvideosetc.8271

23w↑146

Society expects men to work and produce, not to have fun, net negatives in society won't pay themselves.

@-glitch-8195

23w

Thats not society, thats you. When men go through a midlife crisis, it's a crisis. When women go through its delusion.

@IgnacioDure

23w

sad, is because the feminization( idont know th word) of the society, when men cant have time to doing thing in their own way but you are a good men if you let your women to go to girls trip

65 More Replies...

@zoraster3749

23w↑866

My midlife “awakening” manifested as me taking 4 vacations a year, returning phone calls once a week, checking email once a day, and never taking a meeting before 10am or after 3pm.

The funny thing is, despite me pulling back and limiting my availability, my performance and reputation has only increased.

Scarcity increases value and not always being available for every little thing has actually cut back on the amount of trivial nonsense that used to make it’s way to me.

@StoicCPA

23w↑19

Couldn’t agree more. Well said.

@guymontag6382

23w↑11

Awesome. Well done bro.

@michaelbradley6004

23w↑9

Well done. And thank you for your comment.

@slaytanic921

23w↑7

BINGO

@kenlewis2253

23w↑39

“Scarcity increases value” only applies to when you’ve earned the attention of others. A 22 years old with no work history is hardly going to find a competitive edge by being available less. No one would know or care.

13 More Replies...

@DivineLogos

23w↑74

Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.'

- Carl Jung

@ryu_street_fighter561

11w

Yeah, but you’re now 40, single and lonely and locked into a job you don’t like. There are no best options at this point in life, only trade offs. Enjoy the decline.

@8bitneslife1985

11w↑1

Edgelord has entered the chat! (This is why I only play as Ken.)@@ryu_street_fighter561

@Bc-ow1ir

The sick joy I get from this reply, knowing it will all be over soon

@TheMichaelK

@@ryu_street_fighter561Who says that? By age 40 you could have built up quiet some resources.

@theharshtruth8563

22w↑81

My midlife crisis happened at 31 when my fiancée demanded I abandon my hobbies and "grow up" even though she had a 90k student loan for Art & women's history 101 classes.
I then dumped her, pursued my hobbies and transformed them into a business. That was almost 25 years ago and now my mortgage is paid off and I'm still running a business that originally was a hobby.

My mid life crisis was the warning bell that saved me from wasting my life pleasing others' expectations of me.
BTW, my ex is still paying off that student loan 25 years later.

@manikyum

21w↑1

25 years to pay of 90k?!!

@hipsonsogbo

14w↑7

Boss move. Well done. We need more men to realise this.

@theharshtruth8563

14w↑10

@@manikyum She has had minimum wage jobs all her life. Can't make use of a "woman's studies" degree anywhere.

@Jigbunu

14w↑9

Congrats bro! A bullet well dodged. That’s why I can’t stand people like Dave Ramsey talking people into marrying themselves into paying someone else’s debt

@dinsel9691

14w↑8

@manikyum if you pay 90k in 25 years... you probably still owe another 100k due to insane interest that comes with student loans

6 More Replies...

@marksandoval5361

23w↑431

I see this all the time. A guy gets married and has kids and his life gets smaller. First the motorcycle goes and then the pickup truck, sports car, or muscle car goes and now he's driving a mini-van. Then the hobbies go. No more mountain biking or snow boarding. Then the male friends go or he sees them much less often. Then he starts working more hours or takes jobs he doesn't like because the family needs the money. Vacations are at Sea World instead of scuba diving in Belize. Lots of sacrifices that nobody appreciates.

@marcusmcgraw3519

23w↑51

This is why you don’t get married. You’re stopping yourself from living your best life at the expense of someone who won’t stop milking you

@sallysmith3885

23w↑7

Very true !

@amandaburleson2035

23w

thank god im 33 single never married no kids. no stress i look like im 27. a nagging wife and whiny kids is not worth it! i can spend money fcuking hookers around the world and tis better at this point in my life. maybe ill settle down at 43. LOL im too young

@funmilayoaina2658

23w↑36

@@marcusmcgraw3519you sound bitter. It's not a bed of roses for women either.

@half_latinamomof2

23w↑9

@funmilayoaina2658 you are right it definitely is not. It also takes a physical toll to even have the kids in the first place not to mention painful. Alot of us pour everything into having a family and gave up things. I used to go do karaoke nights.Just with my sisters go out to sing for fun. Can't do that. I used to carve wood can't do that now. I don't have time to play my acoustic or electric. I used to be a volunteer firefighter can't now. I've given up hobbies and dreams. Definitely not a bed of roses. A few married couples can manage it better.Thats if they have family to help and want to. But from what I seen that's less common nowadays.

27 More Replies...

@joshuaborem7063

22w↑25

I’m 44 and recently bought a Dodge Viper and I’ve had a few people comment about mid life crisis.

I respond “mid life yes, crisis NO. Just enjoying life”

@radoslavtoth391

3w↑1

good for you, Viper is super car

@ahmadsaab5217

2w↑1

King shit ngl 👑

@cellularmitosis2

23w↑45

Something a lot people don’t stop to consider is that when you see a 45 yo buy a sports car, he’s probably wanted that sports car for his entire life, it’s just that this is the first point at which he could afford it.

@perieven6357

3w↑2

It's not about the sports car. It's about the young blonde, sitting beside him...

@sideman7117

23w↑302

This video explains a lot. When the man who has consistently thrown himself under the bus for his wife and children raises his hand and says, “Hey! What about me? Can’t I have a slice of my own pie?”, he’s accused of being selfish, even though he’s been selfless for so long. It really hurts when you realize the people you love the most and for whom you have sacrificed so much for so long can’t understand that you have a life, too and just want to enjoy it a little bit. Do they really love me? I wonder.

@strangerdanger8462

23w↑46

Men are only loved/ valued for what they provide. To your family, you are just a utility.

@clint120

23w↑36

they will love you when you’re gone. He was such a good man!

@sideman7117

23w↑26

@@clint120 He’s gone. Now, where’s my inheritance?

@manifest2203

23w↑7

@@strangerdanger8462isn’t that true for women as well?

@strangerdanger8462

23w↑33

@@manifest2203 No, it isn't true for women. Women, children and pets are loved unconditionally. I'm sure there are exceptions, and you may be one, but it doesn't disprove the rule.

22 More Replies...

@Wong-Jack-Man

23w↑490

Mid life crisis happens after you come to the realization that you been an indentured servant for 20yrs triggered by some life altering event whether you got served papers or something else. I was burdened by my family for over 20yrs and and taken advantage of and this is why I cut my family members off and living my best life now. One of the best quotes that resonated with me is from David Bowie “ Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.” the problem is many people are stymied usually by relationships and don’t get to self actualize or at very late stage in life. Btw the worst thing you can do after a mid life crisis is to get into relationships again, why start building another crisis after you just dissolved one. Work towards being a free agent.

@thedalillama

23w↑19

All has been written somewhere.

It's hard for me to grasp the concept of so many of us not being able to avoid that which has been suffered by billions, especially when phenomenon are so well documented by those that came before us.

@zesticide1010

23w↑13

I was pulled out of public schools after the 6th grade, and had a part time job since I was 12, and a full time job since I was 15. I hit my mid life crisis early, like 29-31. Now I'm 41, and going on my second wind.

@masterTigress96

23w↑16

@@thedalillama Because there is no way to teach the lessons of the limitless amounts of suffering. It is easier to teach the limited amount of ways humans have had success. And, more importantly, many people don't want to hear those things anyway. Humans don't care until it is too late. As Orion stated in a previous episode, wisdom and experience come to you, after you needed it. When you have that moment "I wish I would have known this before <fill in the blank>", then you have just gained experience and have become a little wiser.

@dwightbrown

23w↑13

You nailed it. Especially the new relationship angle. Most don't understand living outside these relational constructs.

@briancates4758

23w↑10

Completely correct. For me , it has been best to stay single.

12 More Replies...

@hubertcumberdale2651

23w↑154

The mid-life crisis is when men realize they have nothing else to prove. They know peak attractiveness was a good number of years ago, they know landing that "dream job" never came, and that perfect Disney fairytale wedding and wife and life is just that, a fairytale. You learn to then just grin and bear it, and have some fun. Go get that high horsepower car and take that trip if it makes you happy.

@manifest2203

23w

Yes older men then try to get with younger women. And younger men will be crying about not getting women 🤣 Even though younger men have more virility, they have to go without 🤣 Younger men have better sperm quality too. Even sperm banks won’t take sperm from 40 yo men.

@janco333

23w↑1

Eh, no

@hotdog5927

23w↑7

makes you happy for a month and then broke

@DennisMoMoneyThenYou

23w

Buy my Ferrari

@ilikepancakes2368

23w↑4

I want to build a family. Your ideal is just too pessimistic.

11 More Replies...

@Christensen554

21w↑87

At 42, I've come to realize that money is a tool. I’ve worked so hard over the years to realize that if you don’t make money work for you, you can’t experience true freedom. I’m glad I found that out although it was later in life, but that marked the turning point in my finances.

@Novakissla

21w↑2

I'm in my mid 30’s. Once I get paid, I begin to spend on irrelevant things. I work hard for my money, so I believe I can spend it on what I like. The older I get, the more my perspective shifts. I want to take my finances into consideration and put myself in order before it's too late. How are you doing it, Sir?

@Christensen554

21w↑2

Herman Jonas, an astute trade analyst is the brain behind my success. I've gotten into a plethora of assets with $37k spread across stocks (options and futures) for the short term and Roth IRA, index funds, and ETFs, for the long term. Now I sit back, and just reinvest at intervals while I handle my other businesses.

@Pambegay

21w↑1

That's your view. In my experience, there is no such formula, It is nearly impossible to achieve success with investing. It’s all just gambling.

@mendeleyborisov92

21w↑1

I agree, and for that reason I prefer to have a financial consultant like Herman make my day-to-day investment decisions. Given that his entire skill set is based on going long and short at the same time as well as employing risk for the asymmetrical upside and laying off risk as a hedge against the inevitable downward turns, coupled with the exclusive information/analysis he's got, it's nearly impossible to not out-perform. I've been using him as my financial consultant and the rate of accrual on my portfolio has been positive over the years.

@Rmorales799

21w↑1

How can I reach him, please? I'm buoyed by the good recommendations I’ve come across elsewhere. I need help with investing. I'm ready to pay for his services.

5 More Replies...

@MsLilflyer

23w↑513

If this guy has worked so hard his whole life that he made so much money even after losing half to his divorce and child support still has enough money to support himself a lavish life style with expensive cars and young women, good for him! He has earned his midlife crisis!🎉

@StrongBodyandMind33

23w↑13

Well said 😂

@duncaioanaiulia2367

23w↑1

And the woman must continue raising children... alone...
If the man have money... then go in a fucking vacation with the children to see a museum...

@StrongBodyandMind33

23w

@@duncaioanaiulia2367 if she’s a keeper he won’t leave

@JP-qb3ny

23w↑53

The smarts ones don’t get married or move outside the west if they decide to get married.

@IgnacioDure

23w↑9

great to have a women looking as something good... most men when we are teenagers look at this things like living the life... is almost every mens dreams... changes by men to me but is a reward from middle age to do things that you never be alowed because you are broke and a kid, most of the things are the same as women in her 20s... living the life with rich handsome dudes.
is like putting your money and your status to the service of wasting the money, in thing that you always love and get the girl you will always want...
feeling the reward of your working life...

19 More Replies...

@mrx0088

23w↑10

Some women do something similar when their children are grown and they find themselves living with a boring man who was chosen because he was a reliable provider.

@griesemermd

23w↑90

💯. I Delayed gratification my whole life. Did absolutely everything my ex-wife wanted. Realized one day that despite everything, she was still bitter and miserable and I didn’t have anything I wanted, but especially sex. I realized I couldn’t live this loveless, sex starved life anymore and i deserved to be treated better for everything I was giving.

Now I’m married again to a younger woman. Still grinding away, but happier.

@manifest2203

23w↑3

She will leave you too.

@wuy4

22w↑3

@@Finnhungambar That's okay, just see it as a long term rental. Keep your prenup solid and your money separate. In modern day, men and women need to be honest with each other and come to terms with the fact that traditional marriage doesn't work well as it use to.

@tonyjackson7371

21w↑1

A woman leaving is expected... Alot of them seem to think their the end all be all of life when it's highly overrated in a lot of cases

@kwtrn

And she'll likely tire of you when your belly gets bigger and the viagra runs out.

@ismaelhall3990

23w↑56

There is no shame in being selfish guys. As long as you aren't hurting anyone you did nothing wrong.

@funmilayoaina2658

23w↑10

A midlife crisis should not be the cause of your divorce

@cmdrTremyss

23w↑2

That's the thing of selfishness. You are always hurting other peoples with it. At least for some degree. But it's ok.

@hubertcumberdale2651

23w↑5

You need to take care of your own needs, including spiritual needs, before you can help others anyway.

@Memorax

23w↑4

Not really, if youre in a relationship make it a point from the get go that it is built on mutual respect and support. Set boundaries and communicate. Make it clear what your needs are and that they deserve to be met and discuss with your partner how, same for theirs. The problem is that most couples dont talk and bottle up resentment and then explode on their partner instead of thinking ahead. Both have to play their part but that comes down to selecting a good partner and not the first person that comes along just to not have to be alone. Hurt comes from shattered expectations not from knowing and saying what you want out of your life and your relationship

@manifest2203

23w↑2

@@cmdrTremyss exactly. Women file for divorce for being true to themselves.

3 More Replies...

@MorgMorg-uf6ps

19w↑13

The friend zone is the best zone. Never got married, no kids ni attachements. Had a spiritual awakening at 40 and never looked back. There are some things you have to do alone without any outside influence. Marriage is contractual/conditional...unlikely for someone to expande their consciousness unconditionally in a relationship and with children, pressures to be responsible for others always needing more money to filfull your obligations. Its an inside job. First 40 years of life is just learning what you do and dont want so that you can create a better life. Some people dont learn and get attached to things that hold them back. Thats when they have a crises (psychological) cognitive dissonance. A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

@hipsonsogbo

14w↑1

These comments are well written, good to see intelligent thoughtful comments that I have thought about myself. We are not alone in having these revelations about conformity. I’m not against it I just think very few people get it to work.

@robertm9180

23w↑180

Being responsible, conscientious, dutiful and pleasing the ex wife and family: absolutely disastrous. I had lost who I was and felt used up by remaining in a bad marriage. This has taken me years to recover from. My ex had the empathy of a frozen stone, but loved to be served. Of course I take responsibility for what I did, but oh what a waste of years of my valuable life. The mortality issue only came to light at age 60 when my older relatives had died and I retired.

@sleep3417

23w↑8

Tough. Life comes at you fast, i suppose. Occasionally it does feel like time is passing me by, but it's pretty enjoyable and life is good. I appreciate what i have now.

You have my condolences, though. Nobody deserves to be taken advantage of like that.

@chrismann7433

23w↑3

How old were you when you got out? My story sounds similar. Thanks.

@raghavhabib

23w↑7

Omg did we have the same wife? My ex wife was more than a frozen stone (at least there’s hope that you may get some water when you squeeze a stone but not with her). No empathy for anyone not even my 7 year old son!

@svsv1191

22w

Holyshit, this is my mother, why dont the care for properly love their son@@raghavhabib

@KnockemOrLockem

22w↑2

Hopefully none of you abandoned your kids and just dropped the horrible women.

@berteisenbraun7415

23w↑71

I worked hard most of my life, got injured at work in my late 50s after 3 years injury prevented me from continuing to work. You really want to see people run away from you including Family just try becoming Disabled you will find out who your friends are, missed my Midlife crisis. I would say go for it before it too late!

@mezzoecho8692

23w↑10

This is so true. My ex-husband left after I was diagnosed with a chronic illness and a lot of deaths in his family. Uprooted and moved out of state for new job, new home, etc. I'm sorry that happened to you. However, sometimes it's better when people remove themselves from your life. They could stay and make your life more miserable, cheat, etc. We are stronger than we think, and we adjust.

@mynametrong5508

21w↑1

True. I fell into depression and I saw how all my friends were secretly cowards and didn’t care about me at all.

@t28mcd

23w↑215

I don't think it's a coincidence men's "midlife crisis" often happens around the same time the wife hits menopause, that's not often a lot of fun to be around. 😂

@atomic66

23w↑6

Modern medicine is very effective to treat any bothersome symptoms.

@mary_canary

23w↑9

There is male menopause too, less talked about though..

@-glitch-8195

23w

No, it's just males such as yourself laugh about women's life issues until the decisions you've been making for the better part of 20 years hits you like a tidal wave. It's all fun & games until you're effected. Then you want our sympathy. Males become super clingy as they age while women become distant. However, male's midlife crisis happens much earlier nowadays. All it takes is one "open" relationship & his girl getting annihilated for him to have an accelerated midlife crisis at 30 😂

@SamanthasUniverse

23w

😂😅😅😅

@viggotannhauser7251

23w↑21

Yes. That is the actual explanation, very simple too: At around 40, a man is usually at peak attractiveness, whereas his wife of the same age has gone way down compared to her youth. In other words, their difference of attractiveness is at a maximum. So the man decides to switch to a younger one, because he can. Simple as.

37 More Replies...

@joestjack

23w↑180

Wow, this is so incredibly pertinent to my current life position. 34, spent my whole life being the nice guy trying to help everyone I came in contact with, sacrificing all my own personal happiness in the process. Just in the past few months I realised my mistake and have started putting myself first, and boy does it feel good. My friends and family don’t know how to react 😂

@Rhapsohd

22w↑4

Happy for you! Been going through something similar, need constant reminders though as oddly enough it's kind of "hard" to be selfish

@Gary_oldmans_left_nut

22w↑1

Have you read the book no more Mr nice guy?

@dolph.420

22w

🤝

@precisionleadthrowing4628

22w↑2

man, you are lucky. I was stupid until 44 ...

@Vapourwear

22w↑1

Lucky you, mine are leaving.

8 More Replies...

@boethius1812

23w↑22

I've been having a midlife crisis for almost 10 years now. Quit working and started taking it easy. Life is good.

@1Skeptik1

23w↑435

Additional mid-life challenges: How many men are unwelcome in their bedrooms? How many guys caught their wives on the run? One bite of wedding cake and a man loses his free will. Women marry and divorce for profit. Why is marriage falling out of favor?

@IAmTheEggMan111

23w↑1

Marriage rates are plummeting because men are waking up

@frankdavf4599

23w↑29

well this is GOLDEN

@openhueblue6661

23w↑1

Yes

@manifest2203

23w↑16

Yes older men should do what they want. If they leave, that becomes even better for older women. Older women can date younger men for s3x without spending any money. Most older women lose attraction for older men and don’t even want to sleep with them anymore because older men have issues with virility and performance. Younger men are better.

And older women who want relationships have options in older men. Many older men want older women for their domestic life skills to run his home and be with him. But even feminine presence and companionship is valuable even if women those older women don’t do any work. That is why men like Jeff Bezos or King Charles who have money to hire endless help married older women with children from previous marriages. The ex husband leaving frees up their time so much after raising kids and being the caregiver of the family. That is why many older women remain single. It’s very freeing. Whether the ex husband was rich or poor, these older women are lucky because they don’t have to be the ones who give more caregiving for him. And younger women will eventually want more fertile, virile men. Older men who have money can hire help and then go to old age homes. Everyone wins.

@jonwilkinson3886

23w↑7

What's the cure for nymphomania? ..... Wedding cake! 😂

19 More Replies...

@seanmadden75

23w↑9

This was me. Successful 1%’er. Slaved for others my whole life. Ungrateful wife and family. Went crazy dating young girls, travel.

Amazing analysis.

@33Jenesis

23w↑64

My mid life crisis came at 40. I went from hating running all my life to challenge running. Eventually I ran marathons.

@terrorbilly2520

23w↑3

I can relate. I'm 40 and ran my first race 2 months ago. Half-marathons and marathons next.

@Audiolaby

9w↑11

Yeah, it fits
I am 35 and I just started asking 'What about me'
Seems like a legit question to me!

@thedalillama

23w↑62

One strange phenomenon of life is the burden of being competent and useful. Most people need an endless supply of help and far too many people ask for it. I noticed no one bother useless, incompetent people.

I believe Orion has a video on saying "no". The art of saying "no" is something that should be learned early in life. It ties into the midlife crisis issue for sure.

@boethius1812

23w↑7

I adressed this by becoming seemingly useless. Most of the new women I meet think I mow lawns for a living and know nothing of my assets. If you can have a little love nest or RV for dates, pretend you're broke.

@Vapourwear

22w

@@boethius1812 He said "useless," not "not rich."

@thereapersperch

"no one bother useless, incompetent people." So true.

@steveburke7675

23w↑30

Only married men have mid-life crises. After decades of being a walking ATM on an industrial scale, the kids finally leave the nest...what you are left with is a LOT of questions...such as...who exactly is this person sitting across the dining room table from me? Buying the new convertible is only a temporary distraction from the questioning.

@______9322

23w↑3

No. I was not married. I was a monk, and I had a midlife crisis. It was the most horrible experience of my life. Now, 11 years after, I have a girlfriend. She was a nun. We are having a wonderful time.

@stevenscott2136

23w↑7

You only HEAR ABOUT the crises of married men, because the emphasis is always on how he should shut up and give his wife more money. No one pays any attention to us single men, because we were dismissed as lost causes long ago.

@brinjal1371

23w

Be happy at least kids have left the nest instead of still being in position to provide for them. In India kids never leave.

@che4840

23w

@@stevenscott2136yeah, its misguided to think only married men have midlife crisis’. Everyone has something they are trying to run from or cope with, its not easy to go after what we really want and will be deeply fulfilled by in life.

@che4840

23w

Honestly just sounds more like a marriage barely holding together because neither party really spent the time being updated on the growth the other person has gone through. People change over time, and we’ll constantly need to get to know who we’re married to or are with. Just because someone isn’t married to their significant other doesn’t make that process any less significant. Marriage just makes the stakes higher because divorce will financially break someone.

2 More Replies...

@demven04

23w↑120

Thank you! I will never have this crisis, because I learned to be selfish enough (took me all my 20s to learn) and I’m great at rewarding myself and caring about my needs.

@jeanseguiver2809

23w↑13

Same here. I almost had a mid life crisis recently. I didn’t though. Just like you I have also rewarded myself through out the years. Not in the biggest of ways, but I have. It to me to self reflect and analyzed myself.

I’m financially literate and look ahead. I knew it was not the way to go. We think getting everything all once will make us happy, when actually it might be our own downfall. Like the starving man at buffet then getting sick.

@MyUsername09AZ

23w↑12

Absolutely, I am 35, and I say we need more men like you. For example there is no point in being provider, protector, and all that crap to have your kids and money taken away later. Enjoy life and absolutely put your own happiness first.

@xyaeiounn

23w↑2

Ayn Rand has taken a huge, grinning shit in her own grave hearing that you've decided your life is all about you and you can't conceive of any other approach to your short time here.

@manifest2203

23w

@@xyaeiounn happy to see a fellow Ayn Rand reader. The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged were phenomenal books 👏👏

@manifest2203

23w

@@MyUsername09AZyes that’s why so many women don’t want to get married and prefer being single too. Imagine being an unpaid surrogate, having free exclusive s3x to the same guy, doing free domestic work for the same guy being his cook, cleaner, folding his laundry for a long time. It’s exhausting and makes you lose money too. That’s what women are saying too. Whatever money she makes can be spent on herself. If she has children, she has to do caregiving and also the providing by spending all her money on kids. Those women want to put themselves first. Which is why birth rates are low.

3 More Replies...

@aaronginn3214

12w↑2

This hits home. I spent my first 42 years pretending to be a believing Christian because I grew up in a Southern Baptist church with a father who was always in church leadership. Everyone just expected me to follow in his footsteps and I tried to fulfill that role even though I didn't believe any of the dogma. Eleven years ago, I said enough and came out as a non-believer and left church for good. Luckily, my marriage survived and my wife and I are living our best lives now.

My midlife crisis didn't involve women or sports cars. It just involved me stepping out into the light and taking back control of my life from everyone else who wanted me to be something I wasn't.

@citizenpunx

22w↑16

@bengazi8183

21w

I've had a similar breakdown recently after a 10 year corporate run so thanks for sharing your story. I'm currently doing the same but married with 3 kids so no travel for me 😅

@max224422

23w↑161

This is probably one of the most accurate, meaningful, and personal videos that I’ve watched in years. Thank you Orion. Your work is prescient and apropos.

@PassionateSpirit88

23w↑8

My midlife crisis will be a regret of most of my youth being wasted. But that's what society does to the youth. We need leaders too.

@slashf

2w↑2

I channeled my midlife crisis into taking a realistic look at my career and prospects for improvement and acknowledging I was going nowhere with it. I then went back to graduate school, got a master's degree, and finally landed a career I actually enjoyed most of the time, paid decently, and has potential for continuing advancement. Possibly the best decision I made for myself, my marriage, and my family in the past decade.

@dalemcmillen2065

18w↑2

Excellent insights!

As someone just a few months away from retirement, I look back on my life with some ambivalence. I could have done more to take care of myself earlier, however, having both busted my butt for 40 years at my job, but also took time to learn to play piano to a decent level, took time to ski, learn a new language almost to fluency, traveled extensively and took night classes in areas I've loved and pursued running, hiking and even still trying to learn to surf, I can be happy that I took at least this much time to be "selfish". Not only did it help get me through 40 years of very demanding employment, but also helped prepare me to live life to its fullest once retired.

Thank you for helping put this in perspective.

@Trapezius_God

23w↑130

Going through this now. 30 and spent my entire 20s grinding through college and PhD and then worked hard to rack up career accomplishments and money. Now I’m ready to enjoy it all but now I have pressure to get married and have children. Worried that the gratification I delayed will never come due to wife and children

@tonybantu9427

23w

@tdaye6978

23w↑1

Assuming you're in the west, marriage is a statistically horrible idea for men anyway. I'm not saying don't ever get married but....the odds of finding a reasonably attractive woman who's ALSO wife material and loyal, who's ALSO into enough to make it worth your while in the long run, is as close to zero as you can get without it being literally zero.

If you want a family, leave the west. This is the land where even Michael B Jordan can't get loyalty from a nobody, and Tom Brady can't get loyalty from an AGING yet rich nobody. If they aren't safe here, no one is.

@Pawdee

23w↑23

Men peak from 38-44, plenty of time to have fun before settling down.

@shtfvan8084

23w↑20

Dont do it from pressure even if its internal pressure. Wait til its truly right and not what family likes. Believe me dude wait! Even 10 yes if need. Be well established and fully in tune with yourself and true values

@strangerdanger8462

23w↑34

Never get married or have children because of pressure. No matter where the pressure is coming from.

33 More Replies...

@BecamePneuma

23w↑7

When you finally become selfish for the betterment of yourself, you also indirectly become a better, more productive person to society. This is a mindset shift that occurs. It will be the most difficult thing you’ll ever go through; you’ll lose old friends, partners, even close family. The key is to stay on track; people will come and go. Allow yourself to let them go. You’ll become better for it.

@AnwarHaikalRuslan

6w↑2

"Everyone will experience death, but not everyone gets to experiences life".

@Lenny2012S

23w↑12

One more factor: Kids go their own way and it ends man's responsibility to raise his kids. If this responsibility was the only thing keeping man in the family while taken by his wife for granted...

@dhelsby

23w↑17

As someone in my forties and just separated from my wife, I can totally relate to this video. Too much responsibility for most of my adult life, and not enough in it for me.

@drich8806

23w↑34

Great video! Often times “midlife crisis” is also a shaming term used when TH the trajectory of a man’s increasing SMV intersects with that of a woman’s decreasing SMV.

For example when a middle aged woman who is finally ready to settle down tries to convince a middle aged man who has just hit his stride that they are each other’s best match. Especially when they both know that she wouldn’t consider them each other’s best match when she was in her early 20s dating men his current age 😅

@GearZNet

23w↑8

You've peeped their game. They want to shame you from dating younger women, from enjoying the fruits of your labor and from having any options besides being their back up plan. They hate to see a man winning, especially without them.

@manifest2203

23w

@manifest2203

23w

@@GearZNet actually dating younger women isn’t going to make older men young. Age is age, regardless of who you date. The reason most young women like me don’t like older men is because they are ugly and obviously don’t look good compared to younger men. Older people smell weird. And also from various sources it is established that older men have problems with performance, virility and don’t have healthy sperm (even sperm banks don’t accept sperm after age 34). And even after having kids, a younger man will be a better father. Who wants a low energy, sad older father? No one. No child wants a older father over a younger father. No woman wants a lazy partner to share the parenting load. No woman wants a husband who she has to take to hospitals as she is taking her children to hospital as they grow up.

Even with money, most older men can’t find dates with younger women easily. It is not just the West, but nowhere in the world are older men considered attractive or are preferred for marriages. All over the world, younger men are preferred for marriage. In most countries, the younger men and younger women are married. All cultures warn younger women about cre*epy older men. It is not to shame older men at all. A lot of older men are vain and dont see the mirror. So society is kindly telling these older men off. I mean, someone has to do it. It’s not ok for older men to be delusional about themselves. The kinder thing to do is to tell them, is it not?

@derek96720

22w↑2

You hit the nail on the head. The very first time in a man's life in which he realizes he has high value and can actually realize those aspirations is exactly the time when women most shame his behavior. Just another example of how women accused men of being controlling, when they are the ones who constantly try to control Men by shaming their behavior. Women in their thirties hate that they are past their prime and that men are going for young 20-somethings, so they shame men for being interested in younger women as if that's creepy behavior.

@abrahiemdash7676

23w↑34

I did notice this mid life crises thing in men in my family and social circle and i really didn't want to end up like them.
You described everything perfectly, it all makes sense now.
thank god i realized this on my own earlier at 24.

@jeffb.4800

23w↑5

To know is one thing. To experience it is another.

@manifest2203

23w

⁠That’s because the wives of those men are shouldering more than her share of parenting. Having his kids and being with a man is what makes women unhappy too. Women get robbed of thousands of dollars of money of work every year in a marriage and lose their spark by being with less virile older men. Women who date younger and more virile men get back their spark. And the younger men also feel genuine s3xual desire for older women. It’s a wonderful, honest relationship with no money on the table.

More older women should explore the world with younger men once their kids are grown. Being with older men is only going to be more work and he will nag endlessly for his food, his laundry, s3x and as he ages he will nag for doctors visits, medications, his diet and so much more. There is no benefit for older women to be married to older men. Motherhood and marriage damages most women which is why women should avoid long term relationships at all costs and treat men as recreational. Good thing marriage rates and birth rates are falling down globally. Countries like Korea have women’s movements like 4B (no to dating, no to s3x, no to marriage, no to child bearing and rearing). Those women are truly free from deg*enercy. There’s no term for it in the West, but many Western women also live this lifestyle. Celibacy is increasing among younger women.

@d.l.l.6578

23w↑8

I don’t condone abandoning children who need you. Or a loyal wife. I know a lot of people who are widowed who deeply miss their spouse and describe being very happy together. Why do you never hear about that? A lot of couples are blissfully happy and devoted. But all you hear is negative.

I advocate enjoying life along the way. Then you don’t explode. For decades, I’ve stopped to take that cruise, overseas trip, beach, mountains, whatever. Then you know you’ve done it while you are still able to do it.

@kitsune735

23w↑42

Completely relatable. I was around 36 when I started to look at my life and notice I was deeply unhappy. I owned my own home, great kids, everyone was happy, we had plenty of money, no debt, good friends and I put it aside because I felt ungrateful for feeling that way. At 38 I began to want to branch off from responsibilities I had accepted for so long and start to engage in activities that I like, this put some responsibility of my than wife who wasn't used to having to have responsibilities and she fought back. I ended up leaving her, I never bought the nice car but I am travelling around the world with my late 20s girlfriend. I have no regrets.

@manifest2203

23w↑3

@Vapourwear

22w

@@manifest2203 This is like...3.6/10 trolling at best.

@DebraJohnson

22w↑6

How did your wife have no responsibilities if you have kids? Who is caring for the kids now?

@kitsune735

22w↑4

@@DebraJohnson It's like any other partner who doesn't take responsibility in marriages. For example, I had to choose a job that started late enough to allow me to drop off the kids in the morning but ended early enough that I could pick them up before day care closes. My ex did pickup the kids sometimes, but it was her choice. If she chose not to because she was out with friends or something than it fell on me to be responsible. As an example, she went on vacation with friends for a few weeks. It didn't really matter because not much changes for me and the children, we didn't really notice her absence. I have the kids full time now, she comes around to visit or take them out when she feels like it or else we just don't see her for awhile. The kids don't really ask about her, but they seem to have fun when she takes them out.

@mynametrong5508

21w

Ayyyy congrats man! I’m happy for ya.

1 More Replies...

@nunyabidness117

6w↑4

Women and children are valued for who they are. Men are valued for what they can provide.

@jaimiejin7992

23w↑44

This is such good message as I'm a younger girl seeing a man that's going through mid-life crisis. I can't imagine the life he went through serving his ex-wife and kids selflessly putting away all his desires and suppressing his nature. I am pondering what I can offer him to comfort him and make him happy.

@Ezberron

23w↑28

Ask him. He'll tell you. Men aren't complicated and you'll make him smile just by asking.

@jaimiejin7992

23w↑10

@@Ezberron Thank you. I WILL ask him.

@frankdavf4599

23w↑11

a ton of sex, wild n affectionate? Cooperation sinergy and three tons of RESPECT AND LOYALTY

@educ8te

23w↑11

What a lucky man .Hope you also get the best out of your life.

@staubsauger2305

23w↑7

As others have said. Ask him. Probably he'll want some action from time to time (he does have 17 times more testosterone which has been essential in keeping the species going). And if you show that you are on his team as his wingman, and he's a good man, then he'll be the happiest man alive. Once you understand you are a team that serves each other then you are unstoppable - it can be as simple as a sandwich when he is busy working hard.

10 More Replies...

@tomkelsey3512

4w↑3

We men don't call it a "crisis", we call it "having fun", which is not usually possible in a marriage.

@tomkelsey3512

Bingo !

@minethegap

2w↑2

Men should also be proud that they are contributing to society and their communities through this 15-45 window. It’s not just the immediate family and the individual that benefit from intense focus, service and sacrifice. Feeling valued through this process with a strong sense of esteem and pride will also prevent embittered reflection at the mortality realisation.

@incassable

23w↑3

one thing is missing in this video: before 40, you CANNOT afford all the typical mid-life crisis suff. Sport car ? Not enough money before. Women ? not enough money nor self-confidence before. And so on and so forth

@tswspeaks

23w↑11

Just literally described my life

@nattiemania

23w↑13

Point is: Mid life crises is not crisis for the man. But for the people who depend on him. Similar to a woman who marries too early and divorces her husband after a few years due to FOMO

@m2s599

23w

What’s FOMO?

@J_Chips

23w

@@m2s599Means: Fear of Missing Out

@nattiemania

23w

@m2s599 Fear Of Missing Out. Some hoe sh*t activities she other women and society convinced her that she missed out on when she was young due to peer pressure, societal pressure, or negative social media influence

@thesturmovik6410

23w

@@m2s599 Fear Of Missing Out

@starbright1400

23w

@@m2s599fear of missing out

4 More Replies...

@citramate3633

23w↑8

I spent so long trying to do what was right and to help other people and while I am on paper well off, it all just felt hollow when I realised that while people appreciated me, nobody actually really liked me. I got taken advantage of work, I couldn't get dates despite having a 6 pack and when i tried to organise social functions at my apartment, everyone conveniently couldn't come between 72-24 hours from the event. There was no crisis moment but life just slowly hit me over the head too many times to where i've been reminded that I need to make changes if I don't want to Titanic.

It's been a very slow but i've gotten more selfish over time. My life has been improving a lot as a result.

@starbright1400

23w

Keep going mate,

@ObstaclestoOpportunities

22w

You have done well for yourself which is amazing and a privilege, at time I get lonely being retired early in Thailand but I remember that the majority of the world is struggling barely making 500 USD a month. I have been blessed and worked smart/hard to get what I have today, any other thought of sadness or depression is a slap in the face to all 7 billion people struggling in the world. I'm at peace and accepted the fact you can not have everything in life, but I would rather have clean food, water, electricity and health.

@copenbee

22w↑3

Yep. You pretty much described me at 43. Now I’m single, with a brand new convertible, a dog, and a heck of a lot less stress from the never ending demand for “more” from people who are never satisfied with the effort.

@foodmonsterweightloss5886

23w↑7

The genuine need for self gratification to create you own best balanced life never goes away. I'm 73, in a new large age gap relationship, she's 41. Over the years I've journaled and frequently explored what I wanted at that time in my life. Now, I'm very clear on what I want, don't want, demand and refuse. What's really cool is I can get all of it with up front communication and she is absolutely happy in our position.
A big hint: Know what it takes to creat your frame and do what it takes. Then demand it. When she is (loveingly) in your frame life is easy and good.

@seancooper5140

23w↑48

Agreed. It took me a long time to internalize the idea I consciously understood but didn't live out:

Loving others as yourself does NOT mean love others more than and at the total expense of yourself.

I hope I can successfully import this to my children so they can deliberately contribute without over contributing to their detriment.

@boethius1812

23w↑1

Impart*

@seancooper5140

23w

@@boethius1812 LOL, yes ... impart

@user-mn5vn3zp3f

20w↑2

So true. Meet my wife at 19, married at 22. 100% in love with each other and 100% broke. I wanted to give her the world so I worked my ass off building a company for the last 22 years. Tens of millions of dollars later, I have ruined this woman because nothing is ever enough. Today, I gave up and finally filed for divorce. I am going to focus on me and find my happiness. I'm much easier to please.

@robbylebotha

22w↑2

If someone calls you selfish, its usually because they want you to do something that benefits them and are upset that you choose to do something that benefits you. So basically a selfish person is mad because you are selfish.

@Senor0Droolcup

22w↑6

This video is very important. My own midlife crisis began earlier this year at age 53 and involved very risky sugar daddy behavior, dating hot 20-somethings. Looking back. It’s amazing to me that I wasn’t quickly caught and didn’t completely blow up my marriage. the dating and sex was super fun, but was definitely not worth risking a divorce. Reforming one’s marriage is often hard, long and thankless work without instant improvement but it’s much better than losing everything and destroying your kids lives as well.

@manikyum

21w

So your divorced?

@mickbenson9161

23w↑81

I had what may have been a mlc at 41. It was connected to all kinds of stuff, but mainly falling head over heels in love with someone half my age while being stuck in a sexless marriage. The contrast of hanging out with that 10/10 young, beautiful, fun, alive woman and coming home to my wife who mainly just gave me grief and guilt trips was causing a lot of inner turmoil. I knew I could never date or be with the other one because of the age gap and everything, so it was pure agony on a daily basis. I felt what can only be described as grief. A deep pit of longing, loneliness and regret inside. Having to step back and let her live her life and just watch from the sidelines has been torture. I had to let her go completely for my own mental health, but it's still a struggle now two years later. I got a taste of what I used to feel like in my teens and early twenties, and I realized how far I had let myself fall into the routine of life as a working husband and father. When I was with her, everything was just fun and exciting. We traveled together and did all kinds of stuff together. Even though we never had sex, it made me feel alive again. It was truly an eye opener, and I think it perhaps could be described as a midlife crisis.

@MrPerrogaton

23w↑16

Same episode at 45 man, still struggling...my only comfort is thinking it was better for her.

@judyb1643

23w↑7

Are you saying you lied and cheated on your wife and had an emotional affair with a younger woman?

You travelled with her, had fun with her, loved being in her company and never had sex with the younger woman, that’s interesting!

You are still obsessing over her two years later!

Did you stop the affair ,or did your young love stop the affair or did your wife find out?

@dch1421

23w

Sounds like you are depressed and waiting for someone on the outside to provide you some excitement. Get a physical check-up and after that provide your own contentment, whatever that is.

@mickbenson9161

23w↑39

@@judyb1643 Yeah, I guess you can say I was, and still am, emotionally cheating on her (if that's even a thing.) I never lied to her and I never had sex with anyone. I'm not going to go into every detail here, but my marriage has been pretty much dead for years. We've been almost platonic room mates ever since we had kids. I think it's difficult for women to relate to what it's like for men to go without sex for months at a time. My "thing" with that other girl wasn't primarily about sex for me though. It was about feeling alive. Feeling wanted. Feeling the excitement and bliss of love. I knew it was an altered state, and that it would eventually feel less intense, but while it was going on, I was savoring it. I felt 20 again. It ended when she moved abroad. We're still friends, but I try not to watch her social media for my own sake.

@marktapley7571

23w

@@mickbenson9161 Millions of men end up being locked onto sexless marriages even though the wife may have contributed a lot to the success of the partnership and is good in many ways. Its a hard row to hoe but duty and integrity require we stay the course.

26 More Replies...

@tmscipione1

19w↑1

Wow! This so perfectly describes me. I'm 10/10 conscientiousness as a personality trait. I'm a physician and have devoted my life to my patients. I remember turning 30 on call in the hospital and realized I had lost my 20s to the grind of the medical machine, while my friends were having fun. I love what I do, but it takes its toll. I bought my souped up Porsche a decade ago, but it had the quality more of delayed adolescence rather than midlife crisis. Now, a decade later, because of horrible doctor shortages, I was able to work out a job starting in one month (January 2024), working solely from home, with 35 weeks paid vacation. I'm buying a grand piano and taking lessons again. I'm building a home gym and getting into amazing shape. It's all responsible, and my family is supportive. Why wouldn't they be? I'm taking my extended family on a trip to Paris this next April. This is selfish . . . and yet it's not. I'm not escaping. I'm transforming.

@patrickhackett3878

23w↑11

Excellent video. Men have an inherent bad rap during and after divorce, yet carry the majority of burden for providing, protecting and pioneering for their families. They die younger, usually without allowing themselves personal privileges, while their wives are looking to "trade up". Some balance needs to be struck. I admire dedicated male providers immensely.

@robertmaxa6631

23w↑9

This explains why, at age 51, why I haven't suffered a midlife crisis. I'm a 17 year old, in the body of a 51 year old. No wife, no kids, not much to worry about.

@Kennamszoey

23w↑3

Like seriously this is so sad...

@bikosankara7417

15w

Don't have kids bro.I love my son but most of the times I wish i never did

@aldorodriguez7310

23w↑5

I’m so glad there are male therapists like you providing guidance to my demographic.

@gregorytremain4086

23w↑5

If a man spent 20+ years doing the “right thing” and starts realising that he had dreams that are slipping through his fingers he might try to grasp them and what better time when he has the most money he’s ever had.

@donfranklin6956

23w↑7

You have described my life exactly. I was the duty-driven, socially-conscious man in my marriage. I did everything the family wanted or needed. Then I looked around and said, “but what about me?” As Montaigne remarked, let me live the last few years of my life just a little bit for myself.

@jaimiejin7992

23w↑15

The way I can relate is I lived an oppressive life up until I was around 21, though different from these men's choice of being a dutiful husband, father and worker. Eventually I exploded and didn't want structure or duty at all in my life. Just in recent years I started desiring duty and purpose in service of others in life.

@che4840

23w

duty and service is only worth it when people truly appreciate you and value you in their lives. Sometimes that doesn’t happen because someone’s personality needs changing.

@tothemoon8465

14w↑4

It's funny, cause NO ONE you know will tell you this, because they benefit from you giving so much of your self to them. They will fight and gaslight you to keep you stuck. That's saddening to realise.

@NarutoGee1

23w↑19

As a young man in his mid 20’s I appreciate every message you present to the channel. This one spoke to me because I have a delayed gratification mindset and have been asking myself lately the, “What about me?” question; and knowing that it’s OK to be selfish and enjoy some of the fruits I’ve been able to produce up until this point is takes a lot of this self conscious weight off. Thank you Doctor✊🏾

@stillawake76

23w↑7

It’s not always as he describes.

I personally found going through an existential crisis at 40 to be a great experience. It was more a question of, “Am I on the right path?” Knowing that I was roughly at the midway point in life.

@markmaz-sk7su

23w↑13

Wow, this is amazing. Funny thing is I can relate to it totally. I am 30 and did well career wise but now I see that everyone is enjoying what I have built except ME and this is building resentment against my family members. I haven't taken any high impact action yet, but I am thinking about it daily. Nice work.

@PaulRMaxfield

23w↑5

Be careful what high-impact action you take. It will change your life for better or worse. Most marriages are savable and most people love their children. The fancy car thing on the other hand, unless you have cash, creates a debt hole that takes years to climb out. There was some time that I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I persisted with faith anyway. Any choice you make now will hurt...a lot. Take your time to make sure that you make the right choices. You can do it. You've got this.

@DistinctMale

22w

@@PaulRMaxfield that’s awesome advice! Thanks!

@momoali6715

23w↑4

You nailed it .
I Always helped other people , they have built their lives i'm in my forties and i have made nothing relateable .
Now i don't care about what people think about me .
Best idea ever

@bootkins

23w↑1

This is super impactful as someone who went through this and is looking to help others. In my case, I did a "tongue in cheek" midlife crisis because it was so hard to own in some ways, and in retrospect the more ironic I thought I was being, the more impactful was the result on my journey. I took a lot of notes becuase you so well reinforce what this is actually about.

@StudSupreme

22w↑5

Yeah, this hit me starting in my mid-30's. Everything suddenly seemed utterly pointless - a wasted sacrifice with no reward and even ridicule. There was no family loss or a health scare. But the thought process was different than described. I pushed on out of stubbornness, spite and pride and have not looked back. The struggle is its own reward.

@JaySmith-pv2mw

23w↑6

I've come to the conclusion that sacrificing your mental/physical health for someone else is NOT a virtue. People who genuinely care about you would not want that. Unfortunately too many people now EXPECT it.

@akashrajkishore

23w

Beautifully said

@The-DAWG957

23w

The thing is a lot of guys were raised to beleive they should when they don't have too. And even if you do a lot for some wierd reason choose ungrateful overweight witches to do it for. Baffles me and they say it "growing up" and "love", you'll realize it ain't shit but somebody whose afraid of being lonely but will never admit it.

@GregsWorkshopOregon

23w↑9

Fantastic video. I'm 43, I had that experience in my late 20's and again in my mid-30's. I've found a good balance now, but I really relate to this concept.

@terriNCCC

21w↑4

As a 56 yr old woman I am so thoroughly enjoying this message 😅 so much wisdom and insight from you Orion! Loved it❤❤❤

@kellygreenii

23w↑3

@alphastrongman6879

23w↑3

Extremely golden knowledge for every man below 35 years..for the rest it's a call for retrospection. In short, death starts as an abstract idea until it becomes a concrete reality where we reflect how we have spent our youth. This the kind of stuff kids, teens and young adults should be taught constantly before "it's too late". Great message.

@sreif78

23w↑16

Once I got job in a career field, paid bills and lived a functioning, self-supported adult I understood why most Porsche's etc. are bought by middle-aged men; it's because they can afford them. They can actually afford the car. To buy the car, or the payments and the up-keep.

@hubertcumberdale2651

23w↑8

35 - 50 age range is when people will most frequently see both of their parents deceased. Don't discount the huge role inheritances play too.

@DavidianCrest

23w

Man I admire your channel so much doc. Keep up the excellent, scholarly work. People like you make knowledge and truth cool again.

@paulbucklebuckle4921

22w↑5

Men don't have midlife crisis , we have second shot in life coz we age better .

@TheRomans9Guy

19w↑4

I have to disagree. The reason why this comes up isn’t because men finally ask “what about me?” They finally ask, “if I’ve been so self-sacrificial my whole life, why in the world am I not respected and loved?” THIS is the real root.

@SpencerJNiemann

5w↑1

Literally what he is saying just phrased differently… z

@kristiantorres1080

23w

Dr. Taraban, you have become my favorite YouTuber. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas here.

@markfloden

21w↑2

Very true and very close to home.
Happened to me at almost exactly age 40.
At age 45 (after the crisis induced divorce), I started riding motorcycles for fun. I should have started that a lot earlier.

@lifesIronyboard

23w↑3

My experience is that it is the time of life when one realizes that no matter what you accomplish, no matter how hard you work, you end at the same place...death.

Once you hit that nothing you did in your life will ever matter to you because your consciousness is gone.

Perhaps those who believe in an afterlife might be less affected but that's what one deals with.

@AnonymousAccount514

23w↑4

Yes…I’m 47 years old and I have not had a midlife crisis because I didn’t settle down until 35….i did what i wanted to do first…and now I am married with a family…

@TheRtyfghcvb

23w↑2

Excellent!
Totally resonated with my life.
Divorced and free after decades of grinding for a woman who happily married another man.
Now I lead a luxurious life, with tons of ladies flocking around me and all my dreams fulfilled.

@MrKrushgutz

22w↑2

I just realized I’ve been in a midlife crisis for the past few years. And I’ve never been more content with my life.

@frankdavf4599

23w↑3

this midlife crisis triggers when you are in the ratrace speeding to your full and realizing your going in the last place, all others surrounding you, are ahead of you but you get lagging more n more.

@postmodernmining

23w↑5

American Beauty is such a good movie.

@djhardcorehengst6356

23w

Hehe had to think of that movie aswell

@cidadaoPPT

19w↑1

This was remarkably well put together! Thank you! Subscribed.

@cocoacrispy7802

23w↑1

Thanks for the insight; men in mid-life crises have always been ridiculed for acting like teen-agers, but now it makes perfect sense.

@commentarytalk1446

23w↑13

Is husband going through mid-life crisis correlated with wife's menopause period, atst as having more resources and still being attracted to younger fertile women? I wonder if there's any studies on this.

@IgnacioDure

23w

men always love young fertile women is in our brain, if she is not fertile she doesnt work, only for the mom role

@lroche3262

22w↑3

It’s funny! I spent my life so far living wherever I wanted, doing whatever I wanted, working out and looking attractive. I’m 40’s and my mid life crisis is not having a wife and kids.

@luckaugustin5123

13w

This is easily the most important video on your channel and I'm all here for it.

@coconutskunk

22w↑1

You sir have explained in words so much that I cant explain..thank you..I am subbed and I loved this video. I had this experience 3 years ago...coming out of it, I have never fwlt so humbled and mortal after the experience...1 whole week of anxiety and unwarranted tears..something in was coming out that needed to come out...today I feel fresh as ever and appreciate so much things more.

@DJBenito304

23w↑3

Bro you nailed it. My best friend died last year at 47 and since then I’ve been on a glutinous gratification binge because my dad died right after last November and this year my mentor and advisor just passed last month💯🕊️

@ObstaclestoOpportunities

22w

Sorry to hear for the loss, but I'm sure your dad plus friend are living in the after world. Hoping you take some lessons from their life here on earth

@johlarson

23w↑6

A related reason for a midlife crisis is the realization that Plan A isn't working. You're just not getting where you hoped to get to. And so it's time to reassess and switch to plan B. In my case, I realized that after more than 20 years I just wasn't going to advance in my career and I definitely wasn't happy staying where I was. So I decided to go back to school and retrain for something else.

@Dora-wc8be

23w↑4

Why have people become so ill mannered these days? They are stressed out and while that excuses nothing, to me they are best avoided as much as possible. We should not tolerate RUDE, OBNOXIOUS, TOXIC PEOPLE SHARING THEIR MOODS AND CRAP WITH THE REST OF US.

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