Then, during the third week of December (2021) she revealed many things about the album including lyrics of the first single through snippets posted on her different social media accounts.
"On the way to the studio, I was thinking about how many things in my life were set up to destroy me. Like, alcoholism and depression that runs in my family. I suffer from both, and I really hate the idea of either of these things being the reason I give up on life.
This song isn’t your typical Mothica song, and that’s why I wanted to lead the album with it. Nocturnal is the album I got to experiment with a bunch of genres, invoking the music I grew up on with my own twist. “Casualty” is a promise to not die by suicide or drug overdose, which was a very real trajectory for me in the past. It’s one of those songs that just sets my soul on fire in the best way."
— via Instagram
CASUALTY
mothica Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I get my fix from feeling nothing
Hospitals at 24
Alone and self-destructive
Long nights to quiet my mind
With empty conversations
Destroyed the life in my eyes
I won′t be a casualty
A product of my agony
Break my bloodline
Feel the pain and then kill it twice
I won't be a casualty
No, I won't go down like that
No, I won′t go down like that
No, I won′t go down like —
Six feet under
What would everybody say, I wonder
"She was throwing back shots"
"And she couldn't even talk"
"Just another O.D., what a bummer"
They say one is too many
When enough is enough
These thoughts get too heavy 
When my heart weighs a ton (nah-nah-nah)
I won′t be a casualty (nah-nah-nah)
A product of my agony (nah-nah-nah)
Break my bloodline
Feel the pain and then kill it twice
I won't be a casualty
No, I won′t go down like that
(No, I won't go down like that)
(No, I won′t go down like —)
(Break my bloodline)
(Feel the pain and then kill it twice)
(No, I won't go down like that)
I won't be a casualty
A product of my agony
Break my bloodline
Feel the pain and then kill it twice
I won′t be a casualty
No, I won′t go down like that
Mothica’s song “Casualty” is a contemplation of self-destructive behavior and an anthem of empowerment for those struggling with addiction. The first lines of the song - “I’m a masochist, I get my fix from feeling nothing” - explore the idea of mental self-harm and the inexplicable addiction to it. The singer admits to finding comfort in numbness, but at the same time, self-destructs and ends up being hospitalized at a young age. The lyrics “destroyed the life in my eyes” emphasize how self-injury causes the loss of self-esteem and a sense of purpose.
As the song progresses, the singer talks about how her self-destructive behavior has isolated her from others and left her with hollow conversations to fill her night. The phrase “break my bloodline” implies a continuous cycle of self-injury that has been passed down in the family for generations. Yet, the climax of the song offers a glimmer of hope - she has decided she “won't be a casualty” of her addiction and is determined to break the cycle. She wants to kill the pain twice, to face it head-on and come out stronger. Ultimately, the song is a story of a person who has experienced pain and isolation but has decided to break free from the cycle of destructive behavior.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm a masochist
I enjoy experiencing pain and suffering
I get my fix from feeling nothing
I am addicted to feeling emotionless or numb
Hospitals at 24
I have been to the hospital many times before, despite being young
Alone and self-destructive
I am isolated and prone to causing harm to myself
Long nights to quiet my mind
I spend many sleepless nights trying to calm my thoughts
With empty conversations
The conversations I have are lacking depth or real connection
Destroyed the life in my eyes
My experiences have taken a toll on me and left me feeling empty or lifeless
I swear I'm gonna change, yeah
I promise to make an effort to improve myself
I won't be a casualty
I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances
A product of my agony
I do not want to be defined solely by my pain and struggles
Break my bloodline
I want to break free from the cycle of pain and suffering that runs in my family
Feel the pain and then kill it twice
I want to confront my pain head on and overcome it for good
No, I won't go down like that
I will not succumb to the negative influences in my life
Six feet under
A reference to being buried in a grave after death
What would everybody say, I wonder
I worry about what people would think or say about me if I were to die
"She was throwing back shots"
People might talk about how I drank excessively
"And she couldn't even talk"
People might view me as being incoherent due to alcohol or drug use
"Just another O.D., what a bummer"
Others might see my death as just another drug overdose, which is disappointing or sad
They say one is too many
There is a saying that one drink or drug use can be too much for an addict
When enough is enough
There comes a point when it's time to stop and make a change
These thoughts get too heavy
I cannot bear the weight of these thoughts on my own
When my heart weighs a ton (nah-nah-nah)
My emotional burden is too much to bear
Writer(s): Nicholas Michael Furlong, Jacoby Dakota Shaddix, Tobin Esperance, Jerry Allan Horton, Colin Brittain Cunningham, Mckenzie Ashton Ellis, Elijah Noll
Contributed by Lincoln B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@GojiCenter
Wow, I love this!
@Mothica
♡
@LeonMire
Mothica is one of those rare artists where as soon as I see she has a new song, I just add it to my favorites playlist before I even play it for the first time.
@stonerdjproject5150
Yasss
@ad3s892
That’s what I did songs a banger tho
@ranim3611
Same, she never disappoints
@bradlymathews1529
Agreed
@readifer
if you like Mothica check out yonaka.
@faen7038
Mothica needs more recognition than she gets like c’mon this shit is straight FLAMES 🔥
@galacticat3309
So true!