Growing up in the suburbs of Oklahoma McKenzie was a part of a classical guitar ensemble at an arts-focused public high school. At home, she would write original songs over arpeggios she learned in guitar class and uploaded her original songs and covers on YouTube. She was determined to trade the great plains for a more populated skyline. After receiving a scholarship to Pratt Institute for visual web programming, McKenzie moved to Brooklyn, New York in 2013.
Between classes, McKenzie wrote music as a form of catharsis from rigid school assignments. During the second semester, she showed a classmate some of the songs she had been making and her classmate introduced her to several electronic music producers on Soundcloud, lent her a midi keyboard, and encouraged her to buy a real microphone. Her first released on Soundcloud, ‘Starchild’ (prod. by melodrama) received 100,000 plays in 24 hours.
Mothica is an alter ego that isn’t afraid of honesty even if it means showing weakness. Her distinct raspy yet honey-soaked voice is not one of vocal training, but of heartfelt emotion. Her storytelling writing style and unexpected melodies have set her apart in an music scene that is overrun with sameness. She lends her voice to many genres via collaborations, bringing electronic elements to life with the emotions she shares.
McKenzie desired the skill to produce her own instrumentals, so she learned Ableton and released an entirely self-produced EP called Mythic in 2013. Her somber song about self-empowerment, “No One” reached No. 6 on the US Viral Spotify Charts. The collaboration and record label requests came pouring in but she carefully hand selected her music partners and released the smash "Clear" with Canadian producer Pusher. The song currently sits at 12 million plays on Spotify put her on the radar for everyone from Spotify execs to VSCO to Teen Vogue.
Turning down every record label offer, Mothica remained independent and began performing around New York. She performed her first show solo, and it was completely sold out. She finished up a second solo EP called Heavy Heart about her experience with depression. She continues to grow into her writing style while collaborating with the likes of Tennyson, Crywolf, Said The Sky, and Electric Mantis.
Like her music, Mothica's live show continues to evolve. Playing from coast to coast with several headlining shows, 2017 saw the first iteration of a live music experience for Mothica with three additional band members interpreting lively versions of the songs her fans know best.
She started out 2018 with one million monthly Spotify listeners anticipating the upcoming release of two EP's throughout the calendar year. On Valentine’s Day, she will release her next single, Lovetalk, accompanied by a music video and is planning a late April US tour.
Heavy Heart
mothica Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Pitch black, but they still pursue me,
Guess I wasn't right,
Maybe if I try to make them like me,
Smile little wider, seeming bright,
They won't ask to see the darkness I've been hiding,
I'm not hiding cause...
Every hurt last longer,
Every fall hits harder,
And I won't apologise for who I am,
And I am,
And I am,
And I am,
Not for who I am,
Am,
Am,
Heavy hearted,
You thought I was overtaking, but you didn't see,
I know myself and I'm not so weak,
Maybe if you try to understand it,
Open up your heart and dont be scared,
Of what I've been feeling my whole life,
I'm not hiding cause...
Heavy hearts fall faster,
Every hurt last longer,
Every fall hits harder,
And I won't apologise,
Heavy hearts fall faster,
Every hurt last longer,
Every fall hits harder,
And I won't apologise,
And I am,
And I am,
And I am,
Not for who I am,
Am,
Am,
Heavy hearted,
So why does it feel like I'm running,
Like you're chasing me,
From myself, but I wont any longer,
Just let me be,
Heavy hearts fall faster,
Every hurt last longer,
Every fall hits harder,
And I won't apologise,
Heavy hearts fall faster,
Every hurt last longer,
Every fall hits harder,
And I won't apologise,
For who I am.
"Mothica's song "Heavy Heart" is a powerful declaration of self-acceptance and self-love, despite the pressures of societal norms and the need to conform. The first verse reveals that the singer has felt insecure about her identity and has tried to change herself to please others. She admits that she has been hiding a darkness within her, but now she refuses to apologize for who she is. The repeated refrain of "heavy hearts fall faster" emphasizes the weight that comes with not conforming and how it can lead to pain and hurt, but the singer stands firm in her decision to embrace her true self.
In the second verse, the singer challenges those who have judged her and attempts to explain her perspective. She points out that she knows herself better than anyone and that she's not as weak as they may assume. She urges them to try to understand her, to open their hearts, and not be afraid of the emotions she's been experiencing. Again, the repetition of "heavy hearts fall faster" reinforces the message that being true to oneself can be difficult but it's worth it.
In the final lines, the singer declares that she will no longer run from herself or allow others to chase her away from who she really is. She asserts her right to be herself and refuses to apologize for it. Overall, the message of the song is one of strength, resilience, and self-acceptance in the face of adversity and societal pressure."
Line by Line Meaning
I thought colour didn't suit me, so I didn't try,
I believed that exploring new things would not make me happy and I was afraid to try something new.
Pitch black, but they still pursue me,
I thought staying in the dark would help me hide and escape people, but they still come after me.
Guess I wasn't right,
I realized that my belief was incorrect and it didn't save me from people's interest in me.
Maybe if I try to make them like me,
I thought I could make people like me if I change and conform to their idea of what is good and acceptable.
Smile little wider, seeming bright,
I would try to act happy and conceal my true emotions by pretending that I'm fine.
They won't ask to see the darkness I've been hiding,
If I seem fine, people won't bother to ask me about my hidden dark feelings and thoughts.
I'm not hiding cause...
I'm not concealing my feelings because...
Heavy hearts fall faster,
When someone has a heavy heart, they fall faster and struggle more in life.
Every hurt last longer,
The pain that we experience when we have a heavy heart stays longer and is more difficult to recover from.
Every fall hits harder,
The difficulties and problems that come our way become harder to confront when we have a heavy heart.
And I won't apologise for who I am,
I won't say sorry for my feelings, thoughts, and who I am as a person because it is a part of me.
And I am,
My existence and being are valuable and should not be dismissed.
Not for who I am,
I don't exist as a person because of people's perception of me but because of my own.
Am,
I still am who I and won't change just to please people.
Heavy hearted,
I have a heavy heart and those feelings won't go away.
You thought I was overtaking, but you didn't see,
People assume that I am happy or doing well, but they don't see what's really going on inside.
I know myself and I'm not so weak,
I am aware of my strengths and perseverance even though I may have a heavy heart.
Maybe if you try to understand it,
If people try to understand me and my feelings, it would make a difference.
Open up your heart and dont be scared,
People should be more empathetic and willing to connect with others without fear of judgment or rejection.
Of what I've been feeling my whole life,
I've been feeling these emotions for a long time and it's not easy to explain or express them to others.
So why does it feel like I'm running,
I feel like I'm avoiding something or someone and constantly on the move.
Like you're chasing me,
I feel like people are pursuing me even though I just want to be left alone.
From myself, but I wont any longer,
I want to stop running from myself and confront my feelings.
Just let me be,
Please stop pursuing me and allow me to be myself.
And I won't apologise,
I won't say sorry for trying to take care of myself and my needs.
For who I am.
I won't apologise for being me, with a heavy heart, dark feelings but still unapologetically me.
Contributed by Alice D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
DeionZo
I've recently found Mothica and I can honestly say I love all her songs.
Tabitha
Same here.
jacob hoyle
Same
Dr. Dank
Ditto
Scarlet_yuki
Same
Sage Lord
I'm so proud of how far she's come over the last year
riserecords
HEAVY HEART ❤️❤️❤️
Aiselyn Anaya Hall
No shade at all super proud! But how is a record label indepednent under another label? Are they two separate entities since it's just licensing?
Ujjal Buragohain
🕊️❤️🙏
Jacob Elton
@Aiselyn Anaya Hallforlll
On h.k