Growing up in the suburbs of Oklahoma McKenzie was a part of a classical guitar ensemble at an arts-focused public high school. At home, she would write original songs over arpeggios she learned in guitar class and uploaded her original songs and covers on YouTube. She was determined to trade the great plains for a more populated skyline. After receiving a scholarship to Pratt Institute for visual web programming, McKenzie moved to Brooklyn, New York in 2013.
Between classes, McKenzie wrote music as a form of catharsis from rigid school assignments. During the second semester, she showed a classmate some of the songs she had been making and her classmate introduced her to several electronic music producers on Soundcloud, lent her a midi keyboard, and encouraged her to buy a real microphone. Her first released on Soundcloud, ‘Starchild’ (prod. by melodrama) received 100,000 plays in 24 hours.
Mothica is an alter ego that isn’t afraid of honesty even if it means showing weakness. Her distinct raspy yet honey-soaked voice is not one of vocal training, but of heartfelt emotion. Her storytelling writing style and unexpected melodies have set her apart in an music scene that is overrun with sameness. She lends her voice to many genres via collaborations, bringing electronic elements to life with the emotions she shares.
McKenzie desired the skill to produce her own instrumentals, so she learned Ableton and released an entirely self-produced EP called Mythic in 2013. Her somber song about self-empowerment, “No One” reached No. 6 on the US Viral Spotify Charts. The collaboration and record label requests came pouring in but she carefully hand selected her music partners and released the smash "Clear" with Canadian producer Pusher. The song currently sits at 12 million plays on Spotify put her on the radar for everyone from Spotify execs to VSCO to Teen Vogue.
Turning down every record label offer, Mothica remained independent and began performing around New York. She performed her first show solo, and it was completely sold out. She finished up a second solo EP called Heavy Heart about her experience with depression. She continues to grow into her writing style while collaborating with the likes of Tennyson, Crywolf, Said The Sky, and Electric Mantis.
Like her music, Mothica's live show continues to evolve. Playing from coast to coast with several headlining shows, 2017 saw the first iteration of a live music experience for Mothica with three additional band members interpreting lively versions of the songs her fans know best.
She started out 2018 with one million monthly Spotify listeners anticipating the upcoming release of two EP's throughout the calendar year. On Valentine’s Day, she will release her next single, Lovetalk, accompanied by a music video and is planning a late April US tour.
LAST CIGARETTE
mothica Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Put me down and pick me up again, ah
You can be the dagger that I put in my own back
Make tonight the night we both regret
I'm the queen of self-sabotage
I already decided on
You remind me of myself
I'm the blade you've been counting on
But you don't wanna cut it off
You're water and I'm fire
Why's the flame keep getting higher?
Back off, before I destroy you
Oops, I didn't mean to, only do it 'cause I have to
Use you, only to destroy me
Gonna make you love me, it'll be the death of us, so what?
Treat me like your last cigarette, ah
Put me down and pick me up again, ah
You can be the dagger that I put in my own back
Make tonight the night we both regret
Every time you leave, you leave with a piece of me
Gotta tripwire the door, make you come back for m-m-more
'Cause I can't get rid of the marks
Got your claws on my mind, on my heart
But here we are, tattooing the scar
Back off, before I destroy you
Oops, I didn't mean to, only do it 'cause I have to
Use you, only to destroy me
Gonna make you love me, it'll be the death of us, so what?
Back off, back off
Oops, I didn't mean to hurt you
Back off, back off
Oops, I didn't mean to hurt you
In "Last Cigarette" by Mothica, the singer is comparing herself to a cigarette, asking her lover to treat her like their last cigarette. She wants to be put down and picked up again, just like one would with a cigarette. She also suggests that her lover can be the dagger that she puts in her own back. She knows that tonight might be a night they both regret, but she is willing to risk it. She considers herself the queen of self-sabotage, and she already decided on that. The singer reminds her of herself, and she feels like her lover is dragging her through hell. She identifies that she is the blade that her lover has been counting on, but he doesn't want to cut it off. They have opposite personalities, where her lover is water and she is fire, which is why the flame keeps getting higher.
In the chorus, she sings that every time he leaves, he takes a piece of her with him. She wants to make him come back for more, and she can't get rid of the marks that he has left on her heart and mind. In the second verse, she is warning her lover to back off before she destroys him, but she ends up doing it because she has to. She is using him only to destroy herself, but she wants him to love her regardless. Even if it means the death of them, she is willing to make him love her.
Line by Line Meaning
Treat me like your last cigarette, ah
Love me like it's the last time we'll ever be together.
Put me down and pick me up again, ah
Push me away and then come back to me.
You can be the dagger that I put in my own back
You can hurt me but I will still keep you close.
Make tonight the night we both regret
Let's do something reckless and regret it together.
I'm the queen of self-sabotage
I have a tendency to ruin good things for myself.
I already decided on
I have made up my mind about us.
You remind me of myself
I see myself in you.
You're dragging me through hell, I know
You're causing me pain but I can't let go.
I'm the blade you've been counting on
I'm the one who will hurt you eventually.
But you don't wanna cut it off
You don't want to end what we have.
You're water and I'm fire
We're so different and yet attracted to each other.
Why's the flame keep getting higher?
Why do we keep getting closer when we know we shouldn't?
Back off, before I destroy you
Stay away from me before I ruin you.
Oops, I didn't mean to, only do it 'cause I have to
I hurt you unintentionally but I can't help it.
Use you, only to destroy me
I'm using you to hurt myself even more.
Gonna make you love me, it'll be the death of us, so what?
I'll make you fall in love with me even though it will only bring us both pain.
Every time you leave, you leave with a piece of me
Every time we're apart, I feel like a part of me is missing.
Gotta tripwire the door, make you come back for m-m-more
I'll make it so that you have to come back to me.
'Cause I can't get rid of the marks
I can't forget the scars you've left on me.
Got your claws on my mind, on my heart
You have a hold on my thoughts and emotions.
But here we are, tattooing the scar
We keep hurting each other but we stay together anyway.
Back off, back off
Stay away from me.
Oops, I didn't mean to hurt you
I didn't intend to cause you pain.
Back off, back off
Stay away from me.
Oops, I didn't mean to hurt you
I didn't intend to cause you pain.
Lyrics © JASON STRONG MUSIC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Alexandra Veltri, Jamie Lou Stenzel, Jason Strong, Mckenzie Ashton Ellis
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@dakotamay309
Mothica and Au/ra have been my favorite artists for so long and the fact that they actually collaborated and their voices mesh so well together ahhhhh I love this
@Mothica
:’) thank you
@awk-wordwriter7179
Their voices blend so freaking well together. The imagery and storyline portrayed in this music video is stunning. The song is beautiful and incredible at relaying the chemistry between two self-destructive people who only fuel each other's harmful behaviors.
Amazing job Au/Ra and Mothica! The quality of your projects has only been going up.
@SteampunkHorse
I completely agree!!!!
@elvira8356
@Clockwork The Equestrian kok
@SteampunkHorse
@El Vira yes
@pratamaatha144
Jgrd
@pratamaatha144
Szxzx aq
@IAmNotSnowcat
I've played this 9 or 10 times today, I cannot get over how badass it sounds. Your voices fit perfectly together and the style is amazing, when combined with this video, ahh I can't get enough of it.
@menta1018
Literally me after first hearing this song. Then a couple more times watching the actual video 😅 100% agree with this comment!