On November 17th, 2017 Olivia released her debut EP “It’s Not That Deep,” with the singles “Empty” and “RIP” being released on February 17th and July 14th respectively. The EP dropped on November 17th and included previously unreleased songs called “Tequilawine,” “F**k Feelings” and “No Love.” On June 29th, 2018 a remix of “RIP” was released, featuring G-Eazy and Drew Love.
On August 3rd, 2018 the lead single to O’Brien’s debut album was released. “UDK,” the lead single, marked a change in sound for the singer-songwriter. The 2nd single, “I Don’t Exist” was released on September 14th, 2018. “Care Less More,” the third single, was released on November 9th, 2018. On December 18th, 2018 Olivia announced her first ever headline tour, named after her debut album “Was It Even Real?,” which she announced a few months later. The fourth single, “Love Myself,” was released on February 1st, 2019.
On March 28th, 2019 Olivia announced her debut album “Was It Even Real?” would be released on April 26th, 2019. “Just Friends,” the first and only promotional single, was released on March 29th, 2019 alongside preorder for the album. On April 19th, 2019, a week before the album the 5th and final single, “Just A Boy” was released. Olivia’s debut album, “Was It Even Real?” was released on April 26th, 2019. On May 15th, 2019 “Fade Out” by Seeb featuring Olivia and Space Primates was released.
On November 12th, 2019 Olivia announced that she will be releasing multiple micromixtapes following the release of the first one, “It Was A Sad F**cking Summer” that Friday. Olivia explained in a video on Instagram that micromixtapes contained 2-3 songs that fit together sonically and lyrically as well as all making you feel the same emotion. For “It Was A Sad F**king Summer,” those emotions are melancholy, bittersweet and nostalgic. Alongside the release of the first micromixtape Olivia announced that she was going on tour and that the tour was titled “It Was A Sad F**cking Tour.”
2 days before the release of the 2nd micromixtape Olivia started teasing on Instagram by asking her followers if they were ready for micromixtape #2. One day before release she posted lyrics to the chorus “Josslyn” but without the title lyric. “The Results Of My Poor Judgement” was released on February 7th, 2020.
Empty
olivia o'brien Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
All I can say is, this stress hurts
Things are supposed to get better
I just need to put myself first
I'm always trying my hardest
Not to pick myself apart, this
Energy′s killing my vibes now
All of the thoughts in my mind, too much
Going on at the same time, I
Wish it would stop and I've tried, but
Life just sucks, then we all die
That's just reality, yeah, don′t lie to me
Yeah, I′m fucked up, but I don't wanna be
I wonder if I′m good enough
Or maybe I've just had too much
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I′m drowning up my sorrow
There's rules I′ll never follow
Pretend there's no tomorrow
I wish there was no tomorrow
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I′m empty inside
And I don′t wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah, I′m empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don′t wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Wish I could erase my memories
So I could stop feeling so empty
I wish that shit wasn′t so tempting
But it's hard to resist when there's plenty
Of things, I could do to fuck me up
I wanna let go, but I′m feeling so stuck
So all I can do is fill up my cup
And sit here alone hoping no one disrupts
That′s just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
Yeah, I′m fucked up, but I don't wanna be
I wonder if I′m good enough
Or maybe I've had just too much
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I′m drowning up my sorrow
There's rules I'll never follow
Pretend there′s no tomorrow
I wish there was no tomorrow
But I′m empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don′t wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah, I′m empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don′t wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
My body's shaking
My head is aching
It feels like my heart is breaking
My body′s shaking
My head is aching
I can′t fix this mess I'm making
But I′m empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don′t wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah, I′m empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I′m too scared to die
Olivia O'Brien's song "Empty" is a powerful depiction of the anxiety and depression that many young people experience today. The song begins by describing the weight of pressure that the singer feels, saying that they can't handle it and that it hurts. They explain that they're trying their hardest not to "pick [themselves] apart," but that they're constantly feeling drained and overwhelmed. These feelings lead the singer to contemplate drowning out their thoughts, wishing that they could stop the constant noise in their head. They describe life as something that just sucks, leading to death.
The chorus of the song is a haunting repetition of the phrase "I'm empty inside," expressing the vacuum that the singer feels inside themselves, which is so strong that they don't feel alive. They don't want to live, but they're too scared to die. They describe feeling stuck, and how tempting and easy it is to engage in self-destructive behaviors. They try to drink, smoke or swallow their pain, but this coping mechanism does not cure their emptiness.
Towards the end of the song, the singer describes their physical symptoms, their body shaking, and their head aching. They cannot fix the mess they're in. The song ends up in repeating the chorus again, conveying how the singer is unable to escape their feelings of emptiness and fear of death. The authenticity of the song makes it relatable and speaks to how mental health is still stigmatized and misunderstood.
Line by Line Meaning
I can't handle these pressures
The pressure that I feel is too much for me to bear.
All I can say is, this stress hurts
This stress is causing emotional and physical pain.
Things are supposed to get better
I hope that life will improve in the future.
I just need to put myself first
I need to prioritize my own needs and wellbeing above everything else.
I'm always trying my hardest
I am constantly striving to do my best.
Not to pick myself apart, this
I am trying not to be self-critical and self-destructive.
Energy's killing my vibes now
The stress and negative emotions I feel are harming my mental and emotional state.
Sometimes I just wanna drown out
I wish to escape the overwhelming thoughts in my head.
All of the thoughts in my mind, too much
The number of thoughts in my head is too high and causing me distress.
Going on at the same time, I
Many things are happening simultaneously and causing me to feel overwhelmed.
Wish it would stop and I've tried, but
I've attempted to stop the chaotic thoughts, but it's proving challenging.
Life just sucks, then we all die
Life is challenging, and we will all eventually pass away.
That's just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
I acknowledge that this is the truth, and I need people to be honest with me.
Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I don't wanna be
I am struggling with my issues, but I don't wish to continue feeling this way.
I wonder if I'm good enough
I question whether or not I am worthy and capable.
Or maybe I've just had too much
Perhaps I am dealing with too much and cannot handle it all.
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I am resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage my emotions.
I'm drowning up my sorrow
I am overwhelmed with sadness and cannot handle it.
There's rules I'll never follow
I will not adhere to societal norms and expectations.
Pretend there's no tomorrow
I am disregarding what may happen in the future and living in the moment.
I wish there was no tomorrow
I wish to escape the problems of the present and not have to face tomorrow.
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
I feel hollow and unfulfilled on a deep level.
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
I don't have the desire to live, but I am afraid of death.
I just don't feel alive
I do not feel present or fully engaged in my life.
Wish I could erase my memories
I want to forget the painful memories and experiences that haunt me.
So I could stop feeling so empty
By erasing my memories, I hope to feel fulfilled and whole again.
I wish that shit wasn't so tempting
I desire to resist the allure of destructive coping mechanisms.
But it's hard to resist when there's plenty
It's challenging to avoid unhealthy behaviors when they are so readily available.
Of things, I could do to fuck me up
There are many ways for me to harm myself and my wellbeing.
I wanna let go, but I'm feeling so stuck
I want to release my stress and negative emotions, but I feel trapped and unable to do so.
So all I can do is fill up my cup
I resort to temporary solutions to numb my pain.
And sit here alone hoping no one disrupts
I isolate myself to avoid unwanted intrusions while I cope.
My body's shaking
My physical state is affected by my emotional turmoil.
My head is aching
I am experiencing physical pain and tension in my head.
It feels like my heart is breaking
I am experiencing emotional pain and heartache.
I can't fix this mess I'm making
I am unable to solve my problems or repair the damage I am causing myself.
Writer(s): Nicholas Oliver Ruth, Olivia O'brien
Contributed by Noah R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@valxrot
“All I’m saying is stress hurts”
“I wonder if I’m good enough”
“I don’t wanna live but I’m to scared to die”
“I just don’t feel alive”
“I’m empty inside”
“Wish I could erase my memory”
“I wanna let go but I’m feeling so stuck”
“I’m drowning up my sorrows”
“I wish there was no tomorrow”
“It feels like my heart is breaking”
“I can’t fix this mess I’m making”
These lines hit me hard
@MadilynBailey
wow the coloring on this video is amazing!!! <3
@ZienabFadul
love your song "Wiser"
@meena4565
Madilyn Bailey i love youuu
@sabrinawright6567
Madilyn Bailey I love your music!!
@abiahthomas5505
I love you
@jjhxjzjxic83
Madilyn Bailey I love you !
@merrellvevo2480
"I don't wanna live but I'm too scared to die" most relatable thing ever😪
@abidingline4
MerrellLover150 The Merrell twins!
@mollykehoe1873
Meow stabbing yourslef and shit ' I'm pretty sure there's plenty of ways I'm sorry but that really hit me I've slowly coming out of self harm and it does hurt but the pain is just a bad habit you don't stab you do but you don't just do it for the craic or anything
@sapna4650
MerrellLover150 I feel like not living but I am too scared to die so it is relatable