Suffering
pill friends Lyrics


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Waking up in suffering
Same as i was yesterday
Cold breath speaks kindly
Tells me to go back to sleep
Words that no one hears
Pass through paralyzed
In visions of darkness
I close my eyes
I lay my head down to rest
But sleep never comes

Love evades every thought
And pills nullify my restless mind
I hate myself but i couldn′t hate you
Even if i tried

Hiding in my purest failure
I attempt to understand
Why hate and love seem so different
But are one and the same
Falling out of grace i know




It'll never change
Even if i tried

Overall Meaning

The song "Suffering" by Pill Friends explores the themes of loneliness, depression, and being stuck in a vicious cycle of self-hatred. The opening lines depict the struggle of waking up every day with the same feeling of suffering and the desire to go back to sleep, as if sleep were the only escape from reality. The line "Words that no one hears pass through paralyzed," suggests that the singer feels unheard and trapped in his own body, unable to express his inner turmoil.


The second verse delves deeper into the singer's struggles with love and self-hatred. The line, "Love evades every thought and pills nullify my restless mind," refers to the use of medication as a coping mechanism for depression and anxiety, but also suggests that the singer's mind is consumed by negative thoughts, preventing any chance of finding love or happiness. The line "I hate myself but I couldn't hate you even if I tried" highlights the contrast between the singer's self-loathing and his capacity to love someone else.


The final lines of the song express the hopelessness the singer feels in trying to change his situation. "Falling out of grace I know it'll never change, even if I tried," implies that he has given up hope of ever breaking out of the cycle of suffering, which is a common theme in songs about depression and mental illness.


Overall, "Suffering" is a poignant portrayal of the difficulties faced by someone struggling with depression and self-hatred. The lyrics depict the internal battles that those with mental illness often face, the sense of isolation and helplessness, and the self-destructive tendencies that can arise as a result.


Line by Line Meaning

Waking up in suffering
Starting the day in pain and discomfort


Same as i was yesterday
No progress or improvement from the previous day


Cold breath speaks kindly
An inner voice that seems helpful but is actually harmful


Tells me to go back to sleep
Encourages avoidance and escape


Words that no one hears
Feelings and thoughts that are kept hidden and ignored


Pass through paralyzed
Feeling stuck and unable to move forward


In visions of darkness
Immersed in negative thoughts and emotions


I close my eyes
Shutting out reality and avoiding facing problems


I lay my head down to rest
Trying to find comfort but unable to


But sleep never comes
Unable to find peace or relief from suffering


Love evades every thought
Feeling unloved and unwanted


And pills nullify my restless mind
Using drugs to escape from emotions and problems


I hate myself but i couldn't hate you
Struggling with self-loathing but unable to blame others


Even if i tried
Despite efforts to change or improve


Hiding in my purest failure
Feeling ashamed and guilty about one's mistakes and shortcomings


I attempt to understand
Trying to make sense of difficult emotions and experiences


Why hate and love seem so different
Confusion about the complexity and contradictions of human emotions


But are one and the same
Realizing that love and hate can coexist and overlap


Falling out of grace i know
Feeling like a failure and disappointment


It'll never change
Feeling hopeless and resigned to suffering




Writer(s): Pill Friends

Contributed by Leah D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

@thinkingdifferent9346

waking up in suffering
same as i was yesterday
cold breath speaks kindly
tells me to go back to sleep
words that no one hears
pass through paralyzed
in visions of darkness
i close my eyes
i lay my head down to rest
but sleep never comes

love evades every thought
and pills nullify my restless mind
i hate myself but i couldn’t hate you
even if i tried

hiding in my purest failure
i attempt to understand
why hate and love seem so different
but are one and the same
falling out of grace i know
it'll never change
even if i tried



All comments from YouTube:

@samwatson1607

R.I.P Ryan Wilson... you will be missed

@evan.elliott3175

Rest in Peace Ryan, you and the band changed my life, and losing you now feels like i lost a bit of my life

@sludgerat666

How did he die?

@hunterangstadt450

ItsCC13x I think overdose

@sludgerat666

Hunter Angstadt ah yes...hence the name

@thinkingdifferent9346

waking up in suffering
same as i was yesterday
cold breath speaks kindly
tells me to go back to sleep
words that no one hears
pass through paralyzed
in visions of darkness
i close my eyes
i lay my head down to rest
but sleep never comes

love evades every thought
and pills nullify my restless mind
i hate myself but i couldn’t hate you
even if i tried

hiding in my purest failure
i attempt to understand
why hate and love seem so different
but are one and the same
falling out of grace i know
it'll never change
even if i tried

@weedjuul6519

This band sounds like those early Bright eyes records If Conor only talked about sadness and painkillers

@robc5051

They go hand in hand... so I've heard

@Scott-gl4zz

yeah it gives off heavy letting off the happiness vibes

@Wurmstinkt

i despise life and everything about it, but at least i have music like this to accompany me until the end

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