Reason
pinkpantheress Lyrics

I wrote this letter
The artist wrote a letter to remind herself of the reasons she's alive.

To remind myself the reasons I'm alive
The artist wants to remind herself of what keeps her going and what makes life worth living.

I got to reason number five
The artist has identified five reasons for living, which are important to her.

With my pen, I wrote on and I tried
The artist used writing as a way to express herself and come up with reasons why she's alive.

To find words that described all the times
The artist is trying to find the right words to describe all the moments in her life that have kept her going.

I caught myself and realized
The artist had a moment of realization where she became aware of some important things.

There are good things just ahead of me
The artist knows that there are good things in store for her in the future.

But right now it gets hard to believe
Despite her knowledge of the good things to come, the artist finds it difficult to believe in them in the present moment.

But I know that I'm safe when I leave
The artist feels safe and protected when she is away from difficult situations.

When you can't speak to me
The artist is referring to someone who is unable to communicate with her.

And when I can't receive
The artist is having difficulty receiving the message that the other person is trying to communicate.

The words I know you mean
The artist understands the intended message, but for some reason is unable to receive it.

You think can set me free
The other person believes that their message will help the artist to feel free and unburdened.

I know it's broken
The artist is aware that something is not working or is not healthy.

But a little part of me thinks that I'm glad
Despite the situation being broken or difficult, the artist is able to find some positivity or silver lining in it.

I can go through things that make me sad
The artist is strong and capable of going through difficult emotions and experiences.

It's the only time off that I've had
Perhaps paradoxically, the artist finds relief or rest in going through difficult times.

Any more then I'd start to go mad
Despite the artist's ability to handle difficult times, she recognizes that too much could be harmful to her.

Reason that I had at number one (Was I like to)
The first reason that the artist identified for living is that she likes to experience a certain feeling.

Know the feeling well of being loved
The feeling that the artist likes to experience is that of being loved.

(Then number two)
The artist has a second reason for living, as well.

I like the feeling of becoming numb
The artist enjoys the sensation of becoming emotionally numb or detached.

(I can't choose)
The artist cannot choose between these two feelings that she enjoys, as they are both important to her.

Which one I prefer because you can't
It's impossible for the artist to choose one feeling over the other, because they are both important to her.