X
the freeman Lyrics
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‘bout the time i hit 3 by 10
i was on my way to heaven
these problems were a mountain
where to begin?
the devil's knocking but he ain't let in
home delivery of sin, let me take my medicine
hit the road i got my problems
late at night
i close my eyes
i don't like what i see
there's a monster in front of me
They said I couldn't get in
What if I am good at sneakin?
tell St Pete I'm with him
then jump the line while no one's watchin
now the guard is back in ten
how many can we get in?
does this count as a sin if we let these ppl in? is anyone even watching?
should we risk it all for nothing?
still at night
i close my eyes
i don't like what i see
there's a monster in front of me
let's say we jump this ship
but we land inside another ship
maybe you have to slip to really take a dip but is it worth the risk?
what if you miss?
No I say that we stay here
We got a good thing goin
And there ain't know way of knowing if it's good once you get going better stick with what is showing or you risk the chance of blowing
This good thing you got going on, on, on
still at night i close my eyes
i don't like what i see
there's a monster in front of me
The Freeman's song "X" is a contemplative and introspective piece that explores personal struggles and the fear of the unknown. The first verse speaks of the singer's journey through life and how it has been filled with problems and obstacles that seem insurmountable. Despite all of this, the singer remains steadfast in their faith, refusing to let the devil take hold. They see their problems as a kind of medicine that they need to take in order to make it through life.
The second verse delves into the fear of not being accepted into heaven. The singer contemplates sneaking in, bypassing the guards and taking their chances. But in the end, they decide it's not worth it to risk everything just for a chance at the unknown. The chorus repeats the singer's fear of what they see in their mind's eye – a monster that is always present.
The third verse is a bit more optimistic as the singer decides to stay the course and stick with what they know. They see the good in their life and don't want to risk losing it all by taking a chance on the unknown. The final chorus reminds us that even though we may be afraid and faced with monsters, we must keep going and face our fears head-on.
Overall, "X" is a powerful song about fear, faith, and the human experience. It speaks to the deep-seated emotions that we all feel at some point in our lives and encourages us to be brave and face our fears.
Line by Line Meaning
well it all happened
‘bout the time i hit 3 by 10
i was on my way to heaven
these problems were a mountain
where to begin?
As I approached 30 years old, I was faced with many struggles, feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to even start. Despite all of this, I held onto the hope of achieving success and reaching a better place.
the devil's knocking but he ain't let in
home delivery of sin, let me take my medicine
hit the road i got my problems
Though I faced many tempting obstacles and struggles, I knew that I had to face them head-on and deal with the consequences of my actions rather than avoiding them. I had to take responsibility and make a change for the better.
late at night
i close my eyes
i don't like what i see
there's a monster in front of me
Despite my best efforts, I still struggle with fears and doubts. Late at night, my mind becomes consumed with negativity and an overwhelming sense of foreboding, leaving me feeling helpless in my situation.
They said I couldn't get in
What if I am good at sneakin?
tell St Pete I'm with him
then jump the line while no one's watchin
When faced with obstacles and being told that something is not possible, I consider different options and the possibility of bending the rules to achieve my goals. I often look for any sliver of opportunity to succeed, regardless of its ‘legitimacy’.
now the guard is back in ten
how many can we get in?
does this count as a sin if we let these ppl in?
is anyone even watching?
should we risk it all for nothing?
Even when presented with a seemingly golden opportunity, I still consider the consequences of taking a risk or making a decision. I consider what is truly at stake, and whether the potential consequences outweigh the reward. Sometimes, the cost just isn't worth it.
let's say we jump this ship
but we land inside another ship
maybe you have to slip to really take a dip but is it worth the risk?
what if you miss?
No I say that we stay here
We got a good thing goin
And there ain't know way of knowing if it's good once you get going
better stick with what is showing or you risk the chance of blowing
This good thing you got going on, on, on
It's important to stay grounded and consider the current path you're on before making any drastic decisions. While taking a risk can lead to success, it can also lead to a detrimental outcome. Sometimes, it's safer to stick with what's already working rather than risking everything for a potential gain. It's all about understanding the balance and knowing when and where to push your limits.
still at night i close my eyes
i don't like what i see
there's a monster in front of me
Despite any progress made, there will always be fears and obstacles that will continue to haunt and challenge me. It's all about acknowledging them and pushing forward despite the doubts and fears.
Lyrics © Songtrust Ave
Written by: CHAD MICHAEL HADERSBECK
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
The Experience
Gordon has went through hell and back with the only thing keeping him from breaking down being the morphine and shock he's in, if he sits down for one second I guarantee you he'd start crying
Shephard is probably still in a state of shocked disbelief, he was only 21 in the events of Opposing Force, now he's the only marine left. or he's dead from eating a contaminated chocolate bar. Whatever floats your boat.
Barney had to sit by and watch the world go to shit, seeing the horrors of what the civil protection would do, he himself having to partake in them as hinted by his "Beating quota."
Eli lost his wife, his friends, his leg and almost his infant daughter. Seeing Gordon must've felt like a dream as up until that point it'd be fair to assume Gordon had died.
Breen, although the antagonist, was still trying to help, he coordinated the surrender so the combine wouldn't kill everyone on earth, his "You need me!" line was in desperation as he knew that if the rebellion entirely failed the combine would execute everyone on earth.
Grigori helped Gordon through the hell of zombies who may have been his friends and church-goers before the shelling, ultimately though it is to be assumed he dies after Episode 1.
The civil protection, desperate and hungry attempt to halt Gordon and the resistance from getting on the train in Episode 1 as a last ditch effort to get out the city, we do not see any Civil Protection after Episode 1 so most likely all Civil Protection forces had died or are now in the outlands with the resistance.
We dont even know what is happening in other cities, another person like Gordon may be going through the same things and we wouldnt know.
And all this because some dude in a suit wanted to nudge things a little.
KaBar41
The saddest part is that it's implied that G-Man could remove the Combine from the Earth with a snap of his fingers. That, if he so desired, G-Man and his employers could easily have stopped all the death and destruction the Combine brought upon Earth. But they didn't, because that's not entertaining.
Gordon really did become nothing more than an actor in Half-Life. G-Man intervened on a few occasions to help because your main lead dying at the very start of the show would make it uninteresting.
Gordon became an absolute nobody to Humanity's Messiah in a matter of hours, not because of his own choice or because that's how the dice just rolled. But because G-Man and his employers manipulated events to turn Gordon into the Messiah. His character role was decided in advance by G-Man.
The ending of Half-Life Alyx is Gordon beginning to realize he's just an actor and everything he's been involved in is just one big show for the entertainment of G-Man and his employers. G-Man can manipulate not only space, but time as well. So why couldn't he simply force Gordon to be more obedient, somehow?
Simple, he could. But Gordon's storyline was becoming old and he needed a new main character. Alyx. In return for her compliance, he changed time to save her father from death.
The question truly becomes, will G-Man's employers allow Gordon to challenge G-Man? That would make for a very interesting show, much more interesting than a bunch of mortals going around shooting other mortals who just happen to have telekinesis.
Perhaps if Gordon puts on a good enough show, G-Man's employers will be willing to write in a happy ending for Humanity and Gordon.
But that just makes this all the more tragic. Between Half-Life 1 and 2, nothing changed for Gordon. He was still just a theoretical physicist who was fighting for his life with basically zero combat training or experience. Yeah, in Half-Life 2 he had the combat experience from Black Mesa, but at that point, even Alyx had seen more combat than he had. Freeman was 27 during the events of HL1. HL2 is roughly twenty years in the future. That would wreak havoc on the mind of anyone knowing they just spent almost the entirety of their current adult life once over in stasis.
And what of Freeman's family? His mother? Father? Sister? Brother? All of them are likely dead, their bodies never found. Assuming his parents survived up to the 7 Hour War. And then how did they feel when the only information they got out of Black Mesa is: "Your son is missing, we have no idea where he is. He is probably dead, it's unlikely we'll ever find his body."
Freeman got screwed purely because some Eldritch gods wanted a television show.
Jynx and Moon Studios
(This is a rant/theory So heads up! Amazing animation btw!)
Man, Gordon didn’t need to experience this at all. It’s sad, really. Seeing a man with a perfect mental health (as far as we know) go through hell and back and become more and more distressed and mentally unstable as time goes on. I mean sure, he was late for work that day, but in the end, does it really matter? The resonance cascade still might have occurred otherwise, even if Gordon was on time.
(This is referring back to the animation now)
And, well look at the way he tightly hugs Alyx. He’s in shambles now. He’s for one, relieved Alyx is safe, but he’s physically crying a river, due to his ptsd he built and probably relived over the course of Alyx getting severely injured by the Admins. If anything, I’m surprised he hasn’t game-ended himself due to trauma and guilt of the people who he hurt under the circumstances of the Resonance Cascade and Combine forces.
That’s all for now. Sorry for my big ol rants—
-Moon
(Edit: fixed typos)
quarterlydime
The Release of HL:A seems to have awoken this interpretation of Freeman's character, of a man who's seen more than he should've. Where Freeman was originally envisioned to be a vessel for the player, he has become a standalone entity, one that people feel this immense sadness and empathy for. He's been through a lot. And imagining what Freeman is thinking when he witnesses Black Mesa's destruction, the subjugation of humanity, or getting unwillingly abducted by a space god-- hypothesizing the psychological effects this could have on a man of rationalization like a theoretical physicist is horrific, yet fascinating. Poor Gordon.
Force_Of_HABIT
A regular man who suddenly has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Blue Mist
@dkskcjfjswwwwwws ( technically two ).
Verum
"This is more than anyone can bear, but we will persevere..."
horriblepancake
Also shows you are far gaming as come. Gordon was made in a time when people didn't think about the story emotionally ( people did but the general population didn't) In this day and age where games can make grown men cry its nice to go back and humanize the characters, who like you said, where just meant to be a vessel for us. Freeman has definitely seen so much shit and seen a lot of it in a short time, at least from his view. It was a gift and curse that he was late that day.
Twister980
"Well what are you waiting for, Freeman? A hug!?"
Nods
Mrkabrat
Both Truman and Gordon have their lives planned out by something or someone moving the strings behind the scenes, so it fits. The million dollar question is; while Truman managed to escape it, how will Gordon attain his freedom?
Hiper Chad
It would be cool if the ending was like this, in Half Life 3, Gordon manages to defeat the G-Man, so he goes back in time to Black Mesa, where the resonance cascade did not happen, so after the experiment, the scientists congratulate Gordon on the successful experiment, then after a long day from work, he finally goes to the bar, and has a beer that Barney promised him, and then Gordon finally says something, he says "it's been a long day at work" and then the credits roll bringing this trilogy to an end.
FuntimeBoiiii
What I hope is that Gordon will soon be a freeman. The one thing his life has been leading up to. He will finally, TRUELY, be Gordon Freeman.
lighterstudios
Yeah
Will Gordon ever truly become a Freeman?