Passion For Life
tom.luft Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine
He's gonna do another striptease
Hey man where'd you get
That lotion? I been hurting
Since I bought the gimmick
About something called love

Yeah something called love
That's like hypnotizing chickens
Well I am just a modern guy
Of course I've had it in the ear before
'Cause of a lust for life
'Cause of a lust for life
I'm worth a million in prizes
With my torture film
Drive a G.T.O.
Wear a uniform
All on a government loan
I'm worth a million in prizes
Yeah I'm through with sleeping on the
Sidewalk - no more beating my brains
With the liquor and drugs
With the liquor and drugs
Well I am just a modern guy
Of course I've had it in the ear before
'Cause of a lust for life
'Cause of a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Got a lust for life
Oh a lust for life
Oh a lust for life
A lust for life
I got a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Well I am just a modern guy
Of course I've had it in the ear before
'Cause of a lust for life
'Cause of a lust for life
'Cause of a lust for life
Here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine
He's gonna do another striptease
Hey man where'd you get
That lotion? Your skin starts
Itching once you buy the gimmick
About something called love
Oh love love love
That's like hypnotizing chickens
Well I am just a modern guy
Of course I've had it in the ear before
'Cause of a lust for life
'Cause of a lust for life
Got a lust for life
Yeah a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Oh a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Yeah a lust for life
I got a lust for life

A lust for life
Lust for life, lust for life

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Tom Luft's "Passion For Life" describe the singer's hedonistic lifestyle, fueled by alcohol, drugs, and sex. The mention of Johnny Yen, liquor and drugs, and a flesh machine suggests a seedy, gritty lifestyle. The singer seems to be addicted to the rush of these vices and is unable to quit because he has a lust for life. He is worth a million in prizes because of his torture films and flashy lifestyle. The lines "I been hurting since I bought the gimmick about something called love" suggest that the singer has been hurt before and has only found temporary solace in material things.

The singer seems to have developed a desire for a passion-filled life, and the allure of excitement and adventure is too strong to resist. The refrain "Got a lust for life" is indicative of his desire for excitement, adventure, and thrill. He is not willing to settle for a mundane existence and seeks pleasure and excitement at all costs. The song shows how people can be driven towards vices for the sake of living life to the fullest, even though it may lead them down a dangerous path.

Line by Line Meaning

Here comes Johnny Yen again With the liquor and drugs And the flesh machine He's gonna do another striptease
Johnny Yen, who's known for his wild ways, is back with booze, drugs, and a party trick intended to entertain his audience.

Hey man where'd you get That lotion? I been hurting Since I bought the gimmick About something called love Yeah something called love That's like hypnotizing chickens
The singer is asking someone for the source of a lotion, which caused them discomfort. They regret having fallen for the concept of love, which is as foolish as trying to hypnotize chickens.

Well I am just a modern guy Of course I've had it in the ear before 'Cause of a lust for life 'Cause of a lust for life I'm worth a million in prizes With my torture film Drive a G.T.O. Wear a uniform All on a government loan I'm worth a million in prizes
The singer, who has a passion for living, is a contemporary man who knows how to get ahead. He's a successful filmmaker who owns a fancy car and wears a uniform financed by a loan.

Yeah I'm through with sleeping on the Sidewalk - no more beating my brains With the liquor and drugs With the liquor and drugs
The artist is done with homeless life, and no longer wishes to intoxicate themselves to forget about their problems.

I got a lust for life Got a lust for life Oh a lust for life Oh a lust for life A lust for life I got a lust for life I got a lust for life
The artist's enthusiastic and energized, exclaiming they have a high desire for life.

Oh love love love That's like hypnotizing chickens
The singer repeats the idea they mentioned earlier, equating love to the ridiculousness of trying to hypnotize chickens.

'Cause of a lust for life 'Cause of a lust for life 'Cause of a lust for life
The chorus repeats the idea that the singer's passion for life is what's motivated them and led them to their current state.

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: David Bowie, Iggy Pop

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

@GabrielKerr

7y↑43

This is excellent. It's a topic that she intelligently explores by going beyond just simply "living into" more of your own true identity and autonomy in order to experience desire again. She's actually dealing with some of the key struggles of humanity and what it takes to be healthily and fully the "you" by looking into the roots of trauma SO THAT you can experience freedom in desire.
Like she said, you can be burdened with others fears that have kept your autonomy at bay from a very young age. This is so important to pay attention to. We learn to wear our parents fears like clothes we were never meant to wear, and that do not fit us. I loved her example of how you could literally be physically away from your parental figures who clinged to you for security, yet not actually "away" from them psychologically, until you learn to let them be responsible for themselves.

I really appreciate how she shows how these caretaker type of dynamics can get confused with love:

"If you don't care for me in this way, than you don't love me" is something many people have lived under since childhood. They have chosen to sacrifice their own freedoms so not lose connection with stability.

Fascinating to even make that connection! We humans are complex and have deeply rooted identities that need to be explored, drawn out, and healed in order to experience freedom in our sexuality.

The key, I believe, is to find out what we fear, why we are afraid of it, and what it would be like if we didn't fear it anymore. Who would we be? Where would we go? Where would our security come from, or more importantly, where would we find our securities tied to if avoiding our fears was not the central focus? And then the next step is to bravely and boldly go where we have avoided going for so long. This takes time, patience, and guidance that we can trust. It also take tremendous courage!

Losing security and stability is a massive fear for many and it's often rooted in trauma from a young age. Someone may have attempted to live into their own good desires to explore and learn as a child, but then something fell apart, or they were punished for it. This robs a child of the necessary tools to become an adult. Adults need to be responsible, yet children cannot even know how to even begin to be responsible without being taught. They lack the tools under their belts that are learned throughout years of living life on their own.

Genius.

All comments from YouTube:

@helvidia2181

3y↑1.9K

"the ability to stay connected to one's self in the presence of another" that is the key!

@danika6850

3y↑10

Literally read this comment right as she said this haha 🤯

@Juanah92

2y↑6

This is one of my main goals in life at the moment :)

@lovely_time1771

2y↑1

Bingo! I know this!

@thacasualpoolplaya

2y↑3

long winded version of "be yourself"

@lukeweyant6771

2y↑10

Why do I have a hard time staying connected to myself when I'm in the presence of a lot of others? I feel I close up a lot and can't be myself.

8 More Replies...

@misery8264

4y↑4.1K

Went to the cinema with my boyfriend the other week. The lady at the cashier had her first day and messed a few things up. She panicked and apologized over and over again. He told her to calm down, that it's totally fine and that she's doing an awesome job. Then he made jokes about his first day at work. I love him even more in moments like these.

@annes5986

4y↑72

❤️ That's beautiful

@oliviagrace1826

4y↑145

Love this. I introduced my boyfriend to my extended family at a Christmas party last week (he already knows my immediate family but it was the first time he met my uncle’s family and cousins etc). A little while into the night my cousin’s husband accidentally dropped a bottle on the kitchen floor and stood there watching while my mother stopped what she was doing to clear up. Without thinking twice my boyfriend went over and helped her clear the smashed glass from the floor. Watching him do that felt like one of those moments you described. He’s such a gem and I’m so thankful to have him

@andykrahn3628

4y↑34

You like when your boyfriend flirts with other girls? That’s weird af

@misery8264

4y↑353

@@andykrahn3628 ...Soo he's not allowed to be nice to other women cause that's automatically flirting? Glad I'm not that kind of girlfriend tbh :D

@malorie8557

4y↑218

@@andykrahn3628 😂😂 how sad that is. To think that a man has to be flirting if he is nice to a woman.

57 More Replies...

@beniciosgirl

4y↑536

This woman constantly floors me with her eloquence and insight.

@RicardoDinizPortugal

4y↑8

She is beyond brilliant

@cammyminott

2y↑6

She's a machine gun for psychology. I love her.

@miselokulula6697

It's the French accent for me

@sassenachdragon

47w↑1

That’s what really gets me is the eloquence… but I can see why she is that way, she speaks multiple languages so she’s able to operate in the higher register vocabulary but primarily because she explores the topic so thoroughly with her patients and has the explore the use of language in to turn to work with them and express herself in her work…

@elisabethminet4676

20w

Oui elle est formidable 👍

@sasha_nivar

2y↑416

This talk has lived in my DNA since I first saw it. It has been one of the strongest guides to my decision making and it has unequivocally changed my life for the better. For those and many other reasons Im grateful for Esther for her Interest energy and effort in collecting her research and Ted for giving her a platform to speak and share this powerful message

@suzanhasanin461

1y↑11

care to elaborate on how it guides your decision making?

@kennethporst4359

Does it work now?

@prototype8137

28w

You sound like an alien or ai trying to learn how to be human.

@jinxieunlucky

8y↑1.1K

Every time I scroll through the comments on this talk, there are always so many people who had something click in their mind and it resonates with them. Esther is an amazing speaker and it's so rare to see such a positive response to a TED talk on youtube. I came across this talk a few years ago, and it really helped shape my understanding of relationships. My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years, and any time I felt like that desire was waning I thought about why I was turning myself off, and being able to have that inward reflection rather than trying to figure out what my partner "wasn't giving me" made such a huge difference in how we would get over a rut. I feel like every couple should watch this talk.

@jenster29

5y↑16

Are you still together now?

@adebowalegbenga4316

3y↑4

U can listen to Esther speak and be excited about what you hear, but in practice it's not that simple.
You have to practice loneness and self-discipline to keep relationships going. There is always a desire to try another person after sometime, how do u wrestle with that?

If you find yourself waning in love after 2yrs, it's over familiarity crawling in too soon. Space and Distancing is key!!

@Dvshrma

2y↑2

I hope you two are still together

@sueprice9639

2y↑9

Two years? Thats like 5 minutes. 7 years is the test.

@charlottegee6103

23w

Not necessarily sue, everyone’s relationships are different

@marcryan658

7y↑2.4K

*doesn't have girlfriend
*has test tomorrow
*in youtube at 2:00am
*continues watching

@wtfhowbizarre1946

5y↑19

* has an Assassin's Creed profile picture. （That game probably scares the ladies away）

@KFosMe

5y↑9

2:00am and watching this too, bud.

@StephJ0seph

5y↑6

Same, im not in a relationship-- it's late, and I have homework to do and school tomorrow but yet I'm attentively watching this video 😆I think it's because she's so memorizing and engaging to listen to.

@GEORGIANMANDAVID

5y↑5

So? Did you pass good sir?

@minalala6136

5y↑2

Hahaha LMAO on your comment😂 #relatingsomuch

32 More Replies...

@tinyhuong2152

7y↑7.7K

When you are single AF and you still keep watching about relationship things.

@beth8775

6y↑563

Tiny Hương It's like reading the research before you start writing the paper.

@Adorrae

5y↑122

@@beth8775 Or pouring salt onto the wound of something you'll never get.

@beth8775

5y↑135

@@Adorrae Maybe it is your pessimism that's the problem.

@Adorrae

5y↑49

@@beth8775 To be single all my life is a track record of proof that don't require subjective speculation.

@bagfootbandit8745

5y↑50

If Freud was (partially) right about one thing, it's that sexual desire pervades our psyche. This talk can be helpful for any desire and any relationship, not just a sexual relationship with a significant other.

206 More Replies...

@cambriatevis6907

5y↑357

What I got from this: when desire leaves a long term relationship it is because one feels responsible for the other and is willing to give up their desire for connectedness. To fix this the other must let go of the one and let them know that you are still going to be there when they come back. Ask yourself "When do I turn myself off?" and "When do I turn myself on?" Communicate these answers with each other and use it to foreplay every minute of your day.

@SiBorg8A

1y↑2

Things just get old. It's unreasonable to expect things to remain alive.

@dawnhalver

1y↑52

@@SiBorg8A yes it is. Because you think it is of course, but also things don’t just remain alive. You have to keep feeding a fire or it dies out. You have to water a plant or it dies. sometimes you have to plant new seeds altogether! And just to be clear, in the figure cents that I’m using here, you can absolutely do all of those things with the same person you have been with

@McFraneth

5y↑3.7K

I love watching my partner from a distance. I fall back and just watch him. I love the curve of his jaw and the nape of his neck. I love seeing him laughing with others. I feel proud of him.

@Videoskuker

5y↑55

i think youre a good wife to hi!

@kevinzachary9824

5y↑95

Thanks for reminding how alone I am...

@karim-a7469

5y↑38

France Clémence Fradet He must really value you. What a blessing.

@blackbook90

5y↑83

I find that too. I love looking at him. Especially if he’s concentrating. He’s the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, I love watching him think a problem through.

@MickeyMouse-el5bk

5y↑17

U seem great! Now I know why my girl likes just watching me.

49 More Replies...

@ralfj.1740

2y↑69

Great speech!
Sexual desire and passion cannot be really powerful without space, distance, mystery, uncertainty and naughtyness.

@smitty4shizzles925

8y↑2.3K

Wonderful speaker, this woman knows her stuff! Confident, elegant and touching, she inspires women who want to pursue their passions and curiosity.

@Chewanguy

7y↑4

Тhе Wоmen Мen Adоrе (Аnd Nеvеr Want Tо Lеаvе) => https://twitter.com/3ac3041c00204e45d/status/804693412402241537 Тhе seсret tо dеsire in а lоng tеrm reеlatiоnshiр Еsthеr Реrеl

@analyzehistory5656

7y↑1

That account does not exists. (04/06/2017)

@therapywithlauren3159

6y↑3

Agree, love her, inspiring!

@globalgourmand

5y↑7

If you like the way she talks about relationships, you might check out her podcast, "Where Should We Begin?"

@JohnSmith-vy4lh

5y↑7

I think she is addressing the emotionally underdeveloped people. Grown up people know how to sustain a marriage.

8 More Replies...

@Gk2003m

3y↑41

3:40: nail on the head. We ask one person to provide everything we used to ask of an entire village…. And then we wonder why marriages crumble. It is quite simply unfair to put all that on one other human being. It is mentally and spiritually exhausting; it turns us all into vampires.

@WilfridaMacharia

9y↑986

Mystery it doesn't mean always going to different places its looking at the same thing through different eyes...best fact from this Esther Perel.

@WilfridaMacharia

8y↑2

andrew johnstone well that is your opinion and you're entitled to it.

@r.b.4611

8y↑6

+Wilfrida Macharia Did you miss that joke?

@indigom1688

6y↑16

its proust fam

@cammyminott

2y↑121

When you can captivate a room of younger, middle age and older people who identify and/or at the very least, attempt to digest what you are saying, you know you are onto something powerful. Thank you, Esther ❤

@emy7873

😮

@panscentralexpresspresents4733

6y↑774

I've always had this nostalgic feeling about my husband, like when i look at him, its home, its my best friend, its this person i know, but i also feel simultaneously Like im looking at a stranger, who i could never even begin to know... I think that is the fine line you must dance upon, when you realize that you can never truly know any one, you can't hear their thoughts for sure, you can't even be one hundred percent sure they aren't lying to you. Whose to say any one has ever told the truth? we just dont know.... Well when you realize that... if you can let go of it, like release all stress that comes from that ultimate truth... No fear, or insecurity, paranoia or jealousy. You accept them for what you think they are, but they are mysterious because you dont know, factually what your dealing with when it comes to other human beings, and theres a huge illusion of "familiarity" or "knowingness".... You play with that illusion, of "knowing who some one is" and you feel at home... But you know you will never know them, so you play with that illusion, to be interested, to want to know, to want to learn the mysteries of this other person... And you get to know some things about them, and that makes the connection, and that feeds the desire for security..... But your always longing for more, because you know, deep down, You'll never really know him, or understand him... You'll never be him, so you can just play this illusion to get as close as you can, because whats unattainable is always desirable

@ibrahimnaveed7217

5y↑15

Halley-layne Davis thank you. I like your explanation

@espem88

5y↑20

Perfectly put, how I feel exactly.

@itsnathalien

4y↑15

well said. it makes sense. many people think we know what others think but we don’t.

@msdjones30

4y↑4

Very good

@growinchristiandatingwithc5823

4y↑4

Beautifully put

25 More Replies...

@pedrosantiago1149

3y↑50

This is hands down the best Ted Talk I've ever viewed, almost 9 years later and I can still learn from this. Thank you.

@cheerfulsox

3y↑58

honestly, one of my favourite ted talks or at least the one I go back to the most. so many powerful, genuine and inspiring messages, you can really feel how she devoted her career with the purpose of helping people navigate their relationships. love the village metaphor too, think about it a lot if we're not expecting too much from just one person.

@86bushi

4y↑37

Genius at work. Impressed by the tempo, the jokes, the insight and the distictions and the fun she is having giving her talk. And this is already zeven years old now but it feels totally now and for ever.

@japikolee

10y↑2.9K

What I got from it is: you (both) have to be happy with who you are in order to be happy in a relationship. If you have a passion, if you are fulfilled in other field than love, you will give yourselves, and at the same time - each other - space to pursue that. Hence all the things she mentioned: no turnoffs caused by not feeling worthy of pleasure, no turnoffs caused by overly protectiveness, great turn-on when seeing each other being yourselves. Sure, I simplified it, but if you get individual happiness, your chances to be happy in a relationship and in bed are so much greater.

@AlexaThinks

10y↑124

the importance of individuality

@Misslotusification

10y↑5

Husstle Bunnii and sharing

@zethcorbett1020

9y↑16

japikolee Also I think the 'novelty' part at 8:37 to simplify it too - too project (together) what you truly desire.

@b1mw93

6y↑2

Well duuuhhhhhh!

@sidilicious11

5y↑7

japikolee communication skills and play, a bonus!

23 More Replies...

@blackdome98

1y↑161

Wow. What especially struck me was her explaining in what situations people feel drawn to their partner.
My partner is very passionate over text and when I visit them, something that is not as prevelent in me.
But when I see them perform, talk about a passion project and just express so much of their energy, I feel such pure happiness inside myself

@damonm3

1y↑3

Was going to like but unliked cause you’re at 69 likes

@jnewgot

1y↑1

@@damonm3 Well, good news, someone less immature liked for you.

It wasn't me.

@damonm3

@@jnewgot wow, so not fun. Looser!

@jnewgot

@@damonm3 Your bowels must be loose too many vowels.

@GwaiZai

@@jnewgot Damon's joke aroused my erotic self

2 More Replies...

@GabrielKerr

7y↑43

@blazemusing5491

2y↑5

"Where would we find our securities tied to if avoiding our fears was not the central focus?" Such a strong, reflective point which summarised something I've personally often considered in more recent times. Learning to live more confidently, with stronger self-love and less fear about others conclusions on my decisions.

@cmillspa1

28w↑1

This is a really good comment, thanks for taking the time and thought to write it.

@r.e.tucker3223

35w↑11

Married 42 years. In every video of hers I have watched, she's been brilliant.

@therelationshipseries3624

5y↑159

The secret is to never forget what started the desire in the first place adventure, lust, conviction and uncertainty. As Tony Robbins says the more uncertainty you can accept the more fulfilling your relationship will be.

@sethpeters4552

2y↑13

Radiant and confident while in your element - this is where the majority of people I know have attracted their mates. This is why when you focus on doing your own thing and not on relying on other people for your happiness, you find "the one". How quickly we forget this..

@arhabersham

11y↑1.2K

I bet her husband felt SO MUCH drawn to her when she was delivering this talk :D

@XEinstein

4y↑25

Why do you assume she has a husband? Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's attracted to men.

@MalvaLila

4y↑197

Her husband is a well known psychologist working with trauma. Maybe he just happen to know that?

@schweizer93

4y↑53

@@XEinstein how DARE you Alfredo does assume instead of actually KNOW that she does indeed have a husband? Stupid dumbass comment without any value. Her Husband is Jack Saul btw.

@schweizer93

@Gibson Trevor and you're scam!

@buckassnerd1906

4y↑19

Or all of this is a ruse. She's as miserable as the rest of us.

12 More Replies...

@garnetsword

6y↑472

Death.
Couples that understand that their time is limited(shorter than it seems) are always bring the best they can into the relationship.

@casanuevorealestateservice9998

5y↑2

Agree!!!

@buckassnerd1906

4y↑5

Or they're waiting for me to die

@donaldshelton1720

Garnet S Word o

@meadowrae1491

4y↑11

Honestly deathbed perspective made my life so much better. It's like when they talk about the Holocaust victims. Some didn't die, and some lived.

@AbbyMcGowan

4y↑3

Garnet S Word i agree, understanding how short life is makes it easy to stay committed to someone

3 More Replies...

@kevinboniface8150

6y↑17

This is one of the smartest women ive listened to in my life, thank you

@Fiebi95

4y↑70

I'm so greatful to have access to the thoughts of genius people like this woman. I'm only 24 and I am already learning such important things which takes others a life time to understand, if at all.

@jeffkustes8563

2y↑19

You are without a doubt the best lecturer I have ever heard. My common law wife just left me a few weeks ago, and you have helped me know some of the reasons why. Thank you.

@coly4ever

5y↑46

She gives so much information and wisdom in that video and I’m like “hold on, I want to take notes”. I love how she integrates her psychology knowledge to make it relevant for the subject of desire.

@richardmcguinn732

2y↑1

She spoke facts for real.

@ankitaherself

51w

Really!

@sangolmwampi5971

32w

Exactly, totally the same

@thegoodfellow41

7y↑1.2K

Her vocabulary has to be maxed prestige.

@miimaa4741

7y↑2

ikr!

@citizenofvirginity

5y↑7

Cameron Bass Jane Austen level 😭

@thrivinginNL

4y↑106

Agreed. She speaks 8 languages, and I can hear the influence of several in her vocab. She uses a lot of English words that are cognates in other languages. Learning other languages is a wonderful way to improve your vocab in English!

@jl9641

4y↑11

@@thrivinginNL So good for your brain too. And soul : )

@darkandlovely01

4y↑3

John Whitfield Yes. I think she’s French because she used many words derivated from Latin, regularly used in French.

3 More Replies...

@AllAboutBeatsnLyrics

7y↑28

I liked a lot of her points. My disagreement is with care and responsibility. It can be a turnoff, but sometimes knowing that you are cared for is a turn on. Knowing how much your care is appreciated, is a turn on itself.

@misstigerbubbles

same

@joinery11

5y↑5

Few people speak this much sense so concisely, thankyou for your wisdom

@LorenzoGoriniFrisbee

1y↑17

I have to say that I like when my partner needs me. I need to have that relationship for many reasons. Sometimes she needs me to be there with her. And sometimes I need her to be with me. I don't simply want her, I actually need her.
For sure we can survive even without each other, but it would be a much more miserable life.

@themodernlovebox5651

7y↑22

Ester Perel has so much to offer us and our relationships! Truly an inspiration!

@kucingpundung

4y↑36

"Desire need space"; desire= to want, love= to have

@GininaPulcinella

8y↑1.9K

This woman is so brilliant. Probably the best speaker I have ever seen at a Ted Talk.

@mamababa302

7y↑2

Ginina Pulcinella will call

@earlygail

7y↑1

Ginina Pulcinella agreed

@aristotle736

7y↑1

Ginina Pulcinella I agree.I'd stack her up against ANY Ted Talker.

@therapywithlauren3159

6y↑5

Agree, one of the best! I just wanted her to give more specific strategies. But I've heard her book and podcasts and so I know her suggestions such as scheduling in time for intimacy.

@stratusleadershipdevelopme637

6y↑7

Ginina Pulcinella her book Mating in Captivity is well worth the read.

18 More Replies...

@PaolaSotoTopTrainer

7y↑10

It doesnt matter the subject she talks about... each of her sentences resonate multiple meanings in my brain! What a great speaker!!!

@lioydwilliams1850

Paola Soto, you look stunning

@TheTexican05

1y↑7

Esther Perel = Belgium’s most valuable export. National treasure. 🙌 ❤ 🇧🇪

(JC Van Damme was a close 2nd)

This woman’s confidence, wisdom and eloquence are something the world continually needs more of.

@jorgeromera3861

5y↑12

Eye-opening, mind-blowing speech! Human mind is prone to paradox, and that fact often puzzles us. We need people like Esther Perel to help us understand that what seems chaotic or simply weird has an inner pattern.

@slipnpitch1894

3y↑6

Esther Perel is amazing. Insight, clarity, truth.

@heatherbaker4538

6y↑636

When she said that people expect lust to fall from the heaven when you're folding the laundry, I thought "It'd fall from heaven if HE was folding the laundry" XD

@UAPInfoDeutschland

5y↑14

Heather Baker I laughed so hard at this 😂😂👌

@zarcero21

5y↑26

And if you lived alone you would still be folding your laundry. What you really want is a maid, and resent the fact that you are his.

@danielmaine45

4y↑24

Nope, if he started folding the laundry, you would just want him to wash the dishes next...

@Raddiebaddie

4y↑12

Your love language is probably acts of service ☺️

@JohannesWiberg

4y↑7

@@danielmaine45 but the fact that he wasn't already folding the laundry or washing the dishes would probably mean that he (you?) wouldn't really deserve her lust.

11 More Replies...

@debblank20814

11y↑241

On our 51st Valentine's Day, I can attest to the truth of this presentation. Excellent words to live by.

@thegoat-hn2tn

3y↑4

59 years now. How’s it going?

@makennapercy6515

3y↑28

I've always wondered... are couples that stay together for several years just the kinkiest people behind closed doors... its a mystery

@LoLo-be2ed

2y↑6

@@makennapercy6515 yes

@kbanghart

@@makennapercy6515 me and my wife are :)

@sigmacentauri6191

7y↑46

This lady is brilliant. Bless her for articulating these concepts and sharing this wisdom.

@Carmen-mp3je

8y↑10

wooooaaa woooaaa all of my respects!!! you talk like a real professional, like someone who really cares for investigation and understanding of a subject... now you have a big fan!!! so many true tings, like wanting intimacy but space at the same time, and, well, just god, the whole 20 min were golden words!!!

@ash12317

5y↑177

"There is no neediness in desire."

@JanelleFraser

4y↑2

That part is particularly relevant!

@WindmillChef

6y↑37

Great lecture, amazing intelligence. her theories and premises are so cleverly thought through and then placed in perspective. And she delivered so much thought in 20 minutes that you really need a lot of time afterwards to process it. You can also notice on her facial expressions and the speed of speaking that she has a lot more in thoughts but not the time to deliver.
I have watched many lectures by Esther Perel, she is inspiringly intelligent.

@user-pc7kp9py3s

14w

Well said

@laurarose3602

5y↑26

Relationships serve to show us how we show up in relationship to ourself.

@japikolee

10y↑212

What I got from it is: you (both) have to be happy with yourselves to be happy in a relationship. If you have a passion and are fulfilled in other fields than love, you will give yourself, and at the same time - each other, space to pursue that. And from that come all the things she mentioned: no turnoffs caused by not feeling worthy of pleasure, no turnoffs caused by overly protectiveness. Sure, it's not that simple, but if you get individual happiness, your chances of happiness in relationship and in bed are so much greater.

@codeofconfidence

8y↑372

What an excellent speaker. Great job.

@TheWorldTeacher

Surely you jest Madam.

@ddskimmer

existentialism...leads to the metaphysical and the metaphysical to the occult...occult to luciferianism.

@3506Dodge

8y↑2

"luciferianism" ....hilarious....

@ddskimmer

3506Dodge Really? You are naive...check out the Gotthard opening ceremony vid on youtube.
These people are top notch engineers...all worshiping the religion of "human achievement," which has its roots in existentialism. Go for it...then come back and tell me what you've seen.

@ddskimmer

oc IT You are living in a country whose laws are based on that "Abrhanmic religion called Christianity." The thing is lugs like you like the benefits of the wisdom of Judaeo Christianity given by its laws.
Keep wallowing in it..its almost gone.

@aariapoor

1y↑4

She's one of those unique ones who spreads original information, not some repetitive collection of others' right and wrong ideas, and in a unique way which is funny and enjoyable too.

@serlinapadmadewi2630

39w↑1

she’s very well spoken. I could listen to her talk all day

@emimiwimi

8y↑197

this is the third time i see this video and everytime i discover more things. i need to write a lot of quotes from what she said. awesome

@PacificMoceans

6y↑1

lunareyes same

@KenyanOtaku

6y↑5

Did you ever write those quotes?

@Rumaelchannel

4y↑1

or you need to find another man

@dkelban

5y↑28

Love, security, and predictability, and desire , need not oppose each other. Gratitude for having found a loved one, for who they are, and how that’s a hard to find commodity, can lead to ongoing passion. So can realistic expectations: nothing but nothing stays the same in life.

@esuaflorence7112

4y↑1

Still searching

@esuaflorence7112

+33757911329

@MarcoBonechi

Somehow the person that is an expert is more believable. If I were you I'd worry about my relationship.

@AdjrianNickelodeon

9y↑1.2K

Responsibility and desire don't work together.
Erotic couples know how to resurrect passion.
Intentional and willful Spontaneity.
Thank you so much, Esther.

@laurakootnekoff7845

6y↑2

AdjrianNickelodeon h

@jmgmetal

3y↑28

AdjrianNickelodeon Desire is wanting to eat the junk food and responsibility is eating the healthy food.

@michaelstrohmaier402

3y↑25

@@jmgmetal if you condition your brain, so that eating the healthy food is desire, you win!

@johnsiffredi9882

3y↑3

I didn't understand this adjrian! Could you please explain it to me, couldn't you?

@cherishn6008

@@michaelstrohmaier402 I do this

4 More Replies...

@progpalace

8y↑56

Woaah. What an amazing speaker!
This is great knowledge being shared. Thanks Ms. Perel :)

@danielericsson9876

ProgPalace
Why do you assume she's a Ms???

@kampar82

7y↑20

Daniel Ericsson Because we don't know if she is Mrs., Miss, nor does she look like Mr.

@katharinecampbell7799

7y↑24

She is my all-time favorite TED speaker, so eloquent, so succinct, and funny to boot!

@richardmcguinn732

She’s simply amazing to watch and listen to.

@babajaiy8246

2y↑5

To me the way she describes love and desire is that both have the same elements withing them. Love is the desire for another, Desire is the love for another.

@karmamelk9

5y↑5

Wow! She's one of the best TED talk speakers I've watched so far. Great presentation and information!

@stevenvater8720

1y↑1

That wonderful woman gave one of the best lectures I've ever seen. She is a brilliant communicator not just in content but in delevery a true MASTERCLASS

@SpeedLimit88

11y↑34

The part about being most drawn to your partner when they're doing what their passionate about... I totally get that.

@jacksond9309

4y↑5

I haven't heard anything on youtube that I resonated with quite as much as this - by the looks of it the whole audience was just as mesmerized. Esther is a straight maverick.

@esuaflorence7112

Still searching

@mar1853

4y↑33

Love this!! Bottom line, relationships are hard work but the right person will love it and get it done with you😘

@ohmyredheadness

5y↑5

This is by far the best Ted Talk I've listened to.

@concha0711

8y↑17

I absolutely LOVED this Ted Talk... this describes my previous relationship in so many levels... I should send him the video so he can learn something out of it, because after having broken up 2 times I don't honestly believe he did learn the essence of what I was feeling... :(
Merci beaucoup Esther!

@heartspacerelaxations6924

2y↑3

Having split up twice… Have you learnt what he was feeling. Learning must always be on both sides. You could ask him what would have been needed to make him content.

@helenacorreia7613

1y↑3

This woman is amazing, I want to hear more.
Also, she described what I think society should march towards: unconditional love. You can put boundaries and rules in your children without making it personal, without stringing them to your needs and guilt-trip them... Needless to mention adult relationships because it all starts in childhood.
A lot of things she mentioned here, like putting into anthropological/biological perspective our unrealistic goals. But I think personally that it is really important to give some freedom to your partner. I am not into polyamory because I don't think I would be able to, but I would make an effort and try and give some freedom to my partner for them to not feel caged with me.

@doctorbhanu

11y↑15

To Draw our attention for 20 minutes, in a talk without an audiovisual aid, it needs real substance, which this presentation has. Wonderful, with great insight into the issue.

@BellaSunshineOnline

8y↑27

This TedTalk was so good I watched it twice. Thanks for speaking and posting. :-)

@physiotherapistpaulina9340

4y↑8

Yes! I completely agree..............great insight. We want so much from our partners now. We feel trapped in the monotony of marriage and kids and family, and yet we want that commitment and security. It can get very boring, but divorce and dating look so much worse lol. Thanks for sharing this great research!

@decencywarrior9598

22w↑1

I've been with my lover for 37 years married for 35 - that very last statement this genius makes -so true . I'm glad we had figured out things , even before the internet was born , but this woman's insights , and her delivery are masterful.

@tblott8783

1y↑6

I have a damn good wife and she has been by my side through all of the terrible things that I have done, through my addiction of 10 years, lying and cheating but has been nothing but faithful and forgiven me over and over again. I had to hit rock bottom and have the threat of losing my wife and my family to wake up after 18 years and give her the best me. Idk how she has done it for so long and still love me as well as seeing the best in me. Thank God I am getting my own counseling and I have been shown my issues all the way back to my childhood as well as marriage counseling we are now back stronger than ever and we are in love again like we were. I'm a lucky man I hope that everyone is lucky enough to find theirs

@tinefreyse8045

Die schönsten Vorträge sind die von Menschen, die große Freude an dem Thema haben, über das sie etwas erzählen wollen.

@ej2746

8y↑35

I just love Esther Perel she is so accurate about the dynamic of relationship. It's nice that she's helping us all to be aware of the pit fall of relationships. Awareness is always a good thing to prevent pit falls in relationships, not to say we should think about it all the time that we get paranoid, but to use the tool how to improve and prevent through communication between couples.

@man-observing-world

Wow, one of the only great TED talks I’ve seen in the last few years, fast, fun, and totally on point. Well done!

@camilagorisburgos395

8y↑73

What an intelligent woman! Wonderful speaker.

@jackheinz8479

you agree with her totally.:)

@alibeaumont-filder3185

4y↑1

When desire has been absent because of personal journeys or of personal self . Radiant and confident .. or when a familiar laughs.. and freedom to surrender and feel safe - this lady truly makes it comprehensible to us all.

@1996Olympian

3y↑6

I’ve been there—“ Are you going to scold me? Are you going to be mad
at me? Are you going to demean me? Are you going to treat me like a child? Esther, Thank you for this wonderful information! I’ve been free from this for several years now. 👏🏾

@thereisonlyoneright3752

4y↑19

I absolutely adore Esther - what a genius of one of the biggest puzzles we try to solve our whole lives. X

@nadavharary

9y↑577

Thank you Esther Perel for stimulating my brain's G spot with that talk!

@clearskinhabits

;)

@jonathandavid3298

5y↑4

I would like to take you to dinner with no agenda other than great conversation to stimulate your brain's G spot even further.

@theshanny8

5y↑2

Probably spit their water at you when you say something funny... lol. I tried really hard but i couldnt resist 😂

@dirt420

ON GOD

@angelahong7949

4y↑1

@iestrrguthrie4620

3y↑1

This lady has something to say and does a remarkable presentation on her subject matter. My hats off to her talent

@teejay9812

3y↑2

Esther is amazing at shifting perspectives and so insightful.

@elainedevilliers3080

3y↑44

I think real desire transcends physicality. To truly be bonded to someone in a way that your passion for them doesn't fade is when you connect to them on an internal, personal level. People think they love one another but if they look deeper into why they are together or why the picked that person, the answer is in the word picked. To pick someone implies motive, even if it is unconscious. To be drawn to someone is a different matter to picking someone. To be drawn to someone is an internal longing that comes from a different space and so cannot be exhausted because it was never based on a consequence. That's why drawn is despite yourself, picked has reasons, reasons change and go away, but if you love and desire someone from a place you can't explain how can it run out. There is a difference between desire and convenience, there is a difference between wanting someone and wanting something from someone. True desire comes out of you ,you don't have to create it ,it's no effort because it flows out of you. People only have to make an effort because the desire was never really there in the first place. And that stems back to the fact that people tend to marry or date for the wrong reasons. While security and building stability are obvious things that couples should strive for you should not pick a partner on that basis. You are drawn to someone for a reason, you then as a team exploit each other's strengths and weaknesses to the benefit of the unit. If you do this you will have someone you want in good times and bad, you can build a business and even a life with anyone but if you want desire and passion to last its about picking the right person, there is no way around it. If you find you lack desire along the way you need to be very honest about wwether or not it was ever really there.

@ThatGumYouLiked

3y↑11

With all due respect, and maybe you’re deliberately doing so, but this is basically the opposite of what she is presenting in the talk

@tonybrandt3740

2y↑1

@@ThatGumYouLiked 😂😂😂

@paparudaruda656

4y↑23

I would only dream to have 10% of her experience in life that led to knowledge. She is a master of mind and relationships of any kind.
Respect!

@AGROfficial1407

4y↑3

Her analogies were so Spot on! I wish I could be so creative with such Thoughts! Beautiful talk and very clear headed!

@jburckhardt

8y↑121

OMG!!! I love her accent!!! is so enchanting ..... plus she is really good at doing public speaking ( really good role model)

@rsm014

21w

“and I stay open to the mysteries that are living right next to me.” Beautiful ty

@piperdraconi1034

6y↑6

She hypnotizes me with her charisma.

@nadiasaffodien7486

5y↑3

I love how passionate you are about your subject matter....excellent talk

@jmagiera

3y↑1

What an exceptionally eloquent speaker!

@reneshowalter

4y↑3

this video is brilliant. watching all videos and critiqued the last, so respectfully mean it. ty. hear, hear! everything in life is about technique and are def evolving into a new relationship environment!

@jjapa1188

10y↑55

How can anyone have given this a thumbs-down? Esther's presentation was absolutely amazing.

@Mzasweedy

8y↑7

That was great! I just learned so much about me and my partner in just those few minutes. Will be listening again!👌

@froggo7215

5y↑10

This has opend my eyes wide open. Thank you

@alexanderleeart

5y↑1

this is one of the best TED talks i've ever seen, it's all so obviously true and useful

@anjoshneemoonsamy7434

Confident and nice presentation

@anglodutch8321

13w

Superb command of the English language. Natural presentation. Confident. Eloquent. A triumph seldom see and heard.

@vladtepesh6844

3y↑5

Holy moly! Few times, in my life, I feel this level of "blow my mind" and she reached a new level.

Really beautiful speech

@KemaTheAtheist

11y↑15

This was the first TED talk on this sort of topic that I think actually made any kind of sense to actually try and think about how I can incorporate it into my own life. Good talk.

@sizakelehlanze4730

I love how u explain things so well.. It makes soooo much sense

@gregormarquardt4192

4y↑4

This is the best ted Talk i ever watched and i know basically all of them

@sariettetichaa6794

1y↑1

I wish I could like this 1million times! Spot on precise and concise delivery of a difficult subject presented with so much professionalism in stimulates the thought process of the hearer! Your husband must be a lucky man!

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