Hamasaki started her musical career in 1994 and released her first album "NOTHING FROM NOTHING" in 1995; the album was not successful, and she was subsequently dropped by her record label. In 1998, Hamasaki released her first single, poker face, via the Avex Trax label, after being discovered by label head Masato "Max" Matsuura partying at the Avex-owned club, Velfarre. Hamasaki's debut album, "A Song for ××", was released in 1999, and won her a Gold Disk Award. She has since sold more than 50 million records in Japan alone with the releases of her 9 full-length studio albums, 1 mini-album, 4 compilation albums, 45 singles, and 17 remix albums, becoming the top selling solo and female artist and the 4th top selling Japanese artist in history. With the release of her 40th single "BLUE BIRD", Hamasaki's single sales passed the 20 million mark, making her the first solo and female singer to reach that milestone.
With the release of her 45th single "Rule/Sparkle", Hamasaki currently has 20 consecutive #1 singles (starting from "Free & Easy") and 32 #1 singles in the Japanese ORICON charts. In addition, she is the first Japanese artist to have her first original 8 studio albums top the charts.
Hamasaki released her ninth studio album, GUILTY on January 1, 2008. Shortly after the release, Ayumi revealed that she had become completely deaf in her left ear, and that it is inoperable. It is believed that she suffers from tinnitus, and Ayumi has known about the condition of her left ear since 2007 after an examination. She also stated that she would continue on with her career for her fans, explaining that "nevertheless, I would like to continue as a singer. That's why I would like to continue singing until I reach the limit with my remaining right ear".
In addition to serving as background music for television advertisements, some of Hamasaki's songs have been used as themes for video games and film productions such as television shows and motion pictures. "Depend on you" and its b-side "Two of us" were used as the opening and ending theme, respectively, of the video game Thousand Arms, while the video game Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams used "Startin'" and "rainy day" as its opening and ending theme, respectively. The dorama My Little Chef featured "Voyage" as its theme, while the anime InuYasha featured "Dearest." Finally, Hamasaki's songs "HEAVEN", "Secret", "fated", and "Rule" have been used as the themes for the movies Shinobi: Heart Under Blade, Confession of Pain, Kaidan, and DragonBall Evolution, respectively.
In January 2008, Hamasaki announced on her blog that an inoperable condition, possibly tinnitus or Ménière's disease, had caused complete deafness in her left ear. She had been diagnosed with the condition in 2006 and that the problem dated to 2000, when she developed an ear infection but continued to perform against the advice of doctors. Despite the setback, Hamasaki stated that she wished to continue singing, and that "as a professional", she wanted to "deliver the best performance for everyone". On May 20, 2017, she wrote that she is also losing hearing in her right ear, and had experienced dizziness and nausea. She vowed to continue performing, writing: "The stage is where I belong. It's the only place I really, truly exist. I don't know anything else."
Official site: http://avexnet.or.jp/ayu
Out of Control
浜崎あゆみ Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
わからずに泣いていた 何が悲しいのかも
あの頃は泣けていたね 涙流せていたね
この頃じゃ泣けないよ 泣き方を忘れたよ
笑っても 笑っても 心
満たされない気がしてしまってるよ
締めつけられていくのは何故なんだろう
涙も出ないくらいに無情に孤独が僕を
支配する夜は君にしか会いたくないんだよ
君だけにしか 君じゃなきゃだめなんだよ
なんでかってそんなの理由なんてないよ
陽はのぼり暮れていく ひたすら繰り返し
その中に幾つの 物語交差する
この広い地球の彼方で ひとつの命が失われるころ
誰かの命は始まって 誰かは全てを終わらせているんだろう
生きて行くってなんだろう 頑張ってってなんだろう
わかんなくなって もう君にしか会いたくないんだよ
君だけにしか 君じゃなきゃだめなんだよ
今夜だけでいいから僕の人で居てよ
涙も出ないくらいに無情に孤独が僕を
支配する夜は君にしか会いたくないんだよ
君だけにしか 君じゃなきゃだめなんだよ
なんでかってそんなの理由なんてないよ
生きて行くってなんだろう 頑張ってってなんだろう
わかんなくなって もう君にしか会いたくないんだよ
君だけにしか 君じゃなきゃだめなんだよ
今夜だけでいいから僕の人で居てよ
嘘でいいから頷いてよ
The lyrics of 浜崎あゆみ's song "Out of control" convey a sense of deep sadness and loneliness, with the singer expressing their confusion and longing for someone. The song begins with the singer crying alone, feeling lost and uncertain of what exactly is making them so sad. They reminisce about a time when they were able to cry and release their tears, but now they have forgotten how to cry and feel empty inside. Even when they try to smile, their heart doesn't feel fulfilled, and instead, it feels tighter with each forced smile. The singer finds themselves trapped in a relentless cycle of loneliness, where only the person they long for can bring them solace. They admit that they can't explain why they feel this way, but they just know that they need that person to be with them.
The lyrics then shift to a broader perspective, as if contemplating the meaning of life. The sun rises and sets, stories intersect, and lives are lost while others begin anew. The singer ponders the essence of living and what it means to strive and persevere. Yet, amidst the confusion, they have become so lost that they only want to see that person, understanding that only that person matters to them, and without them, everything feels incomplete. In a plea, the singer asks that person to be with them, even if it's just for tonight, and they don't mind if it's a lie, just as long as they nod in agreement.
The repeated longing for that person and the desperation in needing their presence highlight the emotional vulnerability and desire for connection portrayed in the lyrics of "Out of control."
Line by Line Meaning
ひとりきり泣いていた 行く宛もないまま
I was crying alone, without any destination
わからずに泣いていた 何が悲しいのかも
I was crying without knowing what was making me sad
あの頃は泣けていたね 涙流せていたね
Back then, I could cry, tears flowed easily
この頃じゃ泣けないよ 泣き方を忘れたよ
Nowadays, I can't cry anymore, I've forgotten how to cry
笑っても 笑っても 心 満たされない気がしてしまってるよ
Even when smiling, my heart feels unsatisfied
笑えば笑う程に胸が 締めつけられていくのは何故なんだろう
Why does my chest tighten more and more as I laugh?
涙も出ないくらいに無情に孤独が僕を
To the point that not even tears come, loneliness mercilessly engulfs me
支配する夜は君にしか会いたくないんだよ
During nights dominated by loneliness, I only want to see you
君だけにしか 君じゃなきゃだめなんだよ
It must be only you, if it's not you, it won't work
なんでかってそんなの理由なんてないよ
There's no reason for it, why, it just is
陽はのぼり暮れていく ひたすら繰り返し
The sun rises and sets, repeatedly without end
その中に幾つの物語交差する
Within that, numerous stories intersect
この広い地球の彼方で ひとつの命が失われるころ
By the time one life is lost in the far reaches of this vast earth
誰かの命は始まって 誰かは全てを終わらせているんだろう
Someone's life is beginning while someone else is ending everything, right?
生きて行くってなんだろう 頑張ってってなんだろう
What does it mean to live? What does it mean to try your best?
わかんなくなって もう君にしか会いたくないんだよ
I don't understand anymore, I just want to see you
君だけにしか 君じゃなきゃだめなんだよ
It has to be only you, if it's not you, it won't work
今夜だけでいいから僕の人で居てよ
Just for tonight, be mine
嘘でいいから頷いてよ
It's okay if it's a lie, just nod
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: Ayumi Hamasaki, Tetsuya Yukumi
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind