Jezebel
10.000 Maniacs - MTV Unplugged Lyrics
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To know I was carefully building the mask I was wearing for two years, swearing I'd tear it off.
I've sat in the dark explaining to myself that I'm straining too hard for feelings I ought to find easily.
Called myself Jezebel.
I don't believe.
Before I say that the vows we made weigh like a stone in my heart.
Family is family, don't let this tear us apart.
You lie there, an innocent baby.
I feel like the thief who is raiding your home, entering and breaking and taking in every room.
I know your feelings are tender and that inside you the embers still glow.
But I'm a shadow, I'm only a bed of blackened coal.
Call myself Jezebel for wanting to leave.
I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you.
I'm just saying we've mistaken one for thousands of words.
And for that mistake, I've caused you such pain that I damn that word.
I've no more ways to hide that I'm a desolate and empty, hollow place inside.
I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you.
I'm not saying love's a plaything.
No, it's a powerful word, inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you.
How I wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife, to weave our lives into a blindfold over both our eyes.
The lyrics of "Jezebel" by 10,000 Maniacs are both chilling and captivating as they detail the internal turmoil of the singer. She is struggling with the weight of her own expectations and the facade she has created for herself. This is a common human experience, as we all create masks to wear in different situations and often lose touch with our true selves. The line "To think of my task is chilling" sums up this idea perfectly. The singer is aware of the difficult road ahead of her as she tries to uncover her true emotions and desires.
The second verse of the song is particularly poignant as it describes the singer's guilt over the pain she has caused her partner. She sees herself as a destructive force, a thief who has entered their home and taken everything of value. This metaphor speaks to the destructive power of our own self-doubt and the way it can undermine our relationships with others. The line "But I'm a shadow, I'm only a bed of blackened coal" is a powerful image that speaks to the singer's sense of isolation and self-loathing.
Overall, "Jezebel" is a moving and unsettling song that captures the complexities of human emotion. It explores themes of guilt, self-doubt, and the struggle to find one's true identity. The haunting melody and lyrics create a sense of unease that stays with the listener long after the song has ended.
Line by Line Meaning
To think of my task is chilling.
The thought of what I need to do is terrifying.
To know I was carefully building the mask I was wearing for two years, swearing I'd tear it off.
I had been pretending for two years, promising to finally be honest and show my true self.
I've sat in the dark explaining to myself that I'm straining too hard for feelings I ought to find easily.
I've tried hard to feel something that should come naturally, and it's starting to worry me.
Called myself Jezebel.
I've labeled myself as immoral and wicked.
I don't believe.
I no longer trust in what I once believed.
Before I say that the vows we made weigh like a stone in my heart.
I want to express that our marriage vows feel like a heavy burden on my heart.
Family is family, don't let this tear us apart.
We should value the importance of family and not let our issues ruin our bond.
You lie there, an innocent baby.
You are pure and innocent like a newborn baby.
I feel like the thief who is raiding your home, entering and breaking and taking in every room.
I feel like I'm intruding and stealing away pieces of your life and innocence.
I know your feelings are tender and that inside you the embers still glow.
I understand that you are vulnerable and there is still some love and passion inside you.
But I'm a shadow, I'm only a bed of blackened coal.
But I'm a mere existence, dark and empty with no warmth or love to offer you.
Call myself Jezebel for wanting to leave.
I blame myself for wanting to end our relationship, labeling myself as sinful.
I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you.
I'm not trying to find another word to replace 'love' when describing the bond between us.
I'm just saying we've mistaken one for thousands of words.
We've mistakenly tried to find complex explanations for 'love' when it's a simple yet powerful feeling.
And for that mistake, I've caused you such pain that I damn that word.
My mistake has hurt you deeply, making me resent even the word 'love'.
I've no more ways to hide that I'm a desolate and empty, hollow place inside.
I can no longer pretend to be something I'm not, because inside I feel lost and empty.
How I wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife, to weave our lives into a blindfold over both our eyes.
I regret our decision to marry and bind our lives together, as it has blinded us to the truth of our feelings.
Lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing
Written by: NATALIE MERCHANT
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Rodolfo
Hi! This song is amazing and underrated in my point of view. I agree with many of your understanding, but I think this is the case that she married her best friend and now regret it ("How I wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife"), someone she had a very powerful friendship feeling ("the sacred tie that bound me to you", the tie of a strong friendship) mistakenly confused by love (love of lovers not love of friends: "I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you", "it's [love] a powerful word, inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you").
I think this is the classic case of friends who get married or involved that ruins the friendship forever after the break up (one of them, the other was really in love). She knows the break up will be devastating for him (broken heart!) and for her (lost of her friend) and she tries to keep some tie with him at least as family (they had a child or children) because he means to her very much as a friend, a kinf of love ("it's [love is] a powerful word, inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you", the bind of those great friendships).
I think this understanding makes each line to make sense as a whole.
What do you think?
Best!