Trauma
350 Lyrics

Anxiety's like a leaf on a tree, it comes and it goes
Anxiety is a temporary and recurrent feeling that can be compared to a leaf on a tree, appearing and disappearing in cycles.

Says bye for a season until it blooms and it grows
Anxiety may temporarily disappear but can resurface and intensify, just like a leaf blossoming and growing on a tree.

Trauma's like the root from the seed, it grips and it holds
Trauma is like the deep-rooted cause of distress that holds onto a person, exerting a firm grip on their emotions and experiences.

You can never just rip it out, it leaves a scar in your soul
Attempting to eradicate trauma abruptly is impossible as it leaves a lasting emotional mark within a person's core, akin to a scar on the soul.

People laugh at pigmentations, color leaves that'll grow
Society often mocks and disregards differences in appearances, dismissing them as insignificant variations, like the changing colors of leaves on a tree.

Some days I'm very yellow, orange next time I show
My emotions and demeanor can vary greatly, sometimes being cheerful and vibrant like a yellow leaf, while other times displaying warmth and intensity like an orange leaf.

I didn't pick the type of leaf I got, I meet the crop, I'm dealt, a lot I felt
I had no control over the circumstances and emotions I inherited, instead encountering a diverse range of experiences and emotions, which have deeply affected me.

I'm often in hell, I'm done with myself
Frequently, I find myself in a state of torment and frustration, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by my own thoughts and emotions.

I'm living in jail, my life in a cell, I fight with the devil, I been a rebel
My existence feels constrained like being imprisoned, trapped in my own life and engaged in a constant battle with my inner demons. I have often resisted conforming to societal norms.

Hyping the self, chasing the wealth, what do I do? That's what I been taught
I have been influenced to focus on self-promotion and the pursuit of material wealth, unsure of what path to take due to the societal expectations I have been taught.

When I was in school, they told me to choose a career that I'll pay, take me away
During my education, I was encouraged to select a profession based on its financial rewards and the opportunity to escape from my current circumstances.

Not what I want, at least I'll be safe, I'll never be happy, at least I'll be paid
Although it may not align with my true desires, pursuing a financially stable career offers a sense of security, even if it means sacrificing my happiness.

Yuh, never could finish my lessons, uh
I have always struggled to complete my personal growth and learn valuable lessons throughout life.

I was so caught in depression, uh
Depression had a firm grip on me, ensnaring and engulfing me in its overwhelming darkness.

I would be failing my classes, making me feel like I'll always be less than
Consistently performing poorly in various areas of my life led me to believe that I would perpetually fall short and never achieve my full potential.

What family wanted, always feel like an opponent
I constantly feel at odds with the expectations and desires of my family, as if I am in opposition to their wishes.

They just want all these degrees, Uncle told me that I'd blown it
My family places great importance on academic achievements, and my uncle made me feel like a failure for not meeting their expectations in this regard.

Whoever's in your garden, they'll be planting seeds
The people you allow into your life and surroundings have the power to influence and plant seeds of various emotions and experiences within you.

Some of bitterness, jealousy, some of grief
The individuals around you may sow seeds of negative emotions such as bitterness, envy, or sorrow, affecting your mindset and well-being.

Some people forced their way around the meadow
Certain individuals forcefully enter your life and disrupt the tranquility of your existence, like intruders in a peaceful meadow.

Planting seeds of harm, you never know until the trees around you bleed, yuh
These individuals sow seeds of pain and damage, which often go unnoticed until the negative consequences start affecting those around you, causing emotional wounds to surface.

I've always been anxious, I mean
Anxiety has been a constant presence in my life, affecting me significantly.

You know, the hardest part was just feeling so helpless
The most challenging aspect of my experience was the overwhelming sense of powerlessness and the inability to alleviate my own suffering.

Like, nothing we could do would really help
Despite efforts, it often feels like there is no effective solution or remedy for the struggles we face.

They told me, 'Run back'
Others advised me to retreat and return to my previous state or circumstances.

There's no other way to get my trust back
In order to regain my trust, it is believed that returning to a previous state or situation is the only viable option.

I just gave my all and you gave none back
I wholeheartedly invested myself in a situation or relationship, only to receive nothing in return.

I always thought that I would be above that
I held the belief that I would rise above such disappointments and not be affected by them.

What's the point of fam if you don't love back?
The purpose of family loses its significance if there is no reciprocation of love and support.

That's the truth and you don't hear me
I speak the truth, but it feels as though my words and emotions go unnoticed or unheard.

Disagree, you don't come near me
When someone disagrees with me, they tend to distance themselves rather than engage in open communication or understanding.

So much hurt inside my head
There is an overwhelming amount of emotional pain and distress within my mind.

I've had a problem thinking clearly
The emotional turmoil I have experienced has clouded my ability to think and make decisions with clarity.

So much trauma I ain't deal with
There is a significant amount of unresolved trauma that I have yet to confront and address.

Now, it's coming out unwillingly
The effects of the suppressed trauma are emerging involuntarily, unable to be controlled or restrained any longer.

Don't think y'all been feeling me
I don't believe that others truly understand or empathize with what I have been going through.

I'm lost, ain't no one searching around to come take care of me
I feel directionless and abandoned as there is no one actively looking out for my well-being or providing support.

Adolescence, I had learned some lessons
During my teenage years, I acquired valuable insights and knowledge through various experiences.

Like you live alone, you die alone and that's depressing
These experiences taught me that one ultimately exists and passes away alone, which can be a source of sadness and despair.

When they knock you to the ground, that's when you see blessings
It is during moments of adversity and being figuratively knocked down that one can recognize and appreciate the positive aspects and blessings in their life.

Something in the back of your head saying, 'Don't talk about it
There is an inner voice or societal pressure that discourages open discussion and expression of personal struggles and trauma.

People don't talk about it'
It is not common for individuals to openly communicate or address their own psychological pain and trauma.

When you talk about it, the less people feel alone
However, when one does have the courage to speak about their experiences, it helps others feel less isolated and alone in their own struggles.