Heavy
4n the Human Lyrics

It's all up on my shoulders and it's getting heavy
I feel overwhelmed and burdened by the responsibilities and challenges in my life.

When I was younger I thought when I'm older I'll be ready
In my youth, I believed that with age, I would become prepared and capable of handling life's difficulties.

But now I'm in my mid 20’s, barely can cook spaghetti
However, now that I am in my mid-twenties, I realize that I still have a lot to learn and struggle with even basic tasks.

And I've been spending my money as if I'm paid and wealthy
I have been irresponsibly using my money, assuming I have a substantial income, even though I am not financially secure.

Damn I've built up so much credit card debt
I have accumulated a significant amount of debt through excessive use of credit cards.

At this point paying it off seems really far fetched
The idea of paying off my debt feels impossible and unrealistic given my current financial situation.

And I wanna travel but I'm saddled on a fence
I have a desire to explore the world, but I am stuck in a state of indecision and uncertainty.

Should I stay up on my grind
I question whether I should focus on working hard and pursuing my goals.

Or spend some time before I'm dead?
Alternatively, I contemplate whether I should prioritize enjoying life and taking time for myself.

Guess the one thing that I know is I can’t get the answers to it all
I have come to accept that I will never have all the answers and understand everything completely.

Like why can’t I be the man that she wanted all along?
I often wonder why I am unable to fulfill the expectations and desires of the person I love.

And why can’t I be in charge of how they all take my songs?
I question why I cannot control how people interpret and respond to my music.

And why the fuck did god go and give cancer to my mom?
I express anger and frustration towards a higher power for allowing my mother to suffer from cancer.

But I slowly make my peace with it
Over time, I am finding acceptance and resolving my inner conflicts regarding this situation.

Or maybe I'm just getting numb cuz I don’t feel different
Perhaps, I am becoming desensitized to the pain and no longer experiencing significant emotional changes.

Just less affected, less and less time spent on seeing pictures
I am becoming less emotionally impacted by certain things, dedicating less and less time to reminiscing through photographs.

But till our last second my sisters and I are grieving children
My sisters and I will continue to mourn and grieve for our lost loved ones until the end of our lives.

I hope I make them proud before I leave the building
I sincerely hope to achieve success and fulfill my family's expectations before my time comes to an end.

I know I'm not the son my father had envisioned
I am aware that I may not be the ideal son my father had hoped for or imagined.

I hope I make a child believe in what is in him
I aspire to inspire and instill confidence in a child, helping them recognize their own potential and worth.

Like Mac did, a life ain't a life until you live it
I draw inspiration from Mac, believing that one's life only becomes meaningful and valuable when it is truly lived and embraced.

I know when you make it the hatred surface with it
I understand that when you achieve success, it often attracts jealousy and negativity from others.

And I'm certain I'll get insecure with my first critic
I am sure that I will struggle with self-doubt and insecurity when facing my first critical review or judgment.

I'm already hurt, these verses seem to make a difference
Despite the pain I have experienced, I find solace and healing through expressing myself in these verses.

So I keep on working till every person has taken interest
I persevere and continue to work hard until I capture the attention and interest of every individual.

Emotions always escalate a situation quick
I have noticed that emotions can quickly intensify and complicate any given situation.

I try to keep my cool and reconsider why I'm pissed
I make an effort to remain calm and reevaluate the reasons behind my anger or frustration.

I've learned that most the time I'm just denying what it is
I have come to realize that often, I am simply refusing to accept or acknowledge the true nature of a situation.

I'm guided by a mind that makes me wanna die
My thoughts and inner turmoil often lead me to contemplate and desire my own death.

As other organs try to live
Simultaneously, while my mind battles darkness, the rest of my body and life strive for survival and existence.

I'm horrible at sticking to my own advice
Ironically, I struggle to follow the guidance I give to others, even though it may be sound and helpful.

Let alone someone else’s on how to live my life
Furthermore, I find it challenging to adhere to suggestions or opinions from others about how I should live my life.

People always love to judge I've grown to find it fine
I have come to accept that people will always be quick to criticize and pass judgment, and I have learned to be okay with it.

Cuz I just can’t help that they look down on me when trynna climb
It is unavoidable that some individuals will belittle or disregard my efforts when I am endeavoring to improve and advance myself.

Word to the wise if you ahead of me be humble
I urge those who are more successful or further along in their journey than me to remain humble and respectful.

Show me your respect and nothing less for I have struggled
I expect to receive respect, and nothing less, from others as I have faced my own share of difficulties and challenges.

Even though I know I'm next I only flex when I rebuttal
Despite the belief that my own success will come in due time, I only boast and assert myself when responding to criticism or opposition.

Otherwise I keep the peace cuz there’s no need to start some trouble
In most cases, I aim to maintain harmony and avoid conflicts, as there is no benefit in creating unnecessary problems.

This girl think its just a line when I said come and cuddle
When I express a genuine desire for intimacy and affection, this girl dismisses it as a mere pickup line.

Why’s it so hard to believe that I just love to snuggle
I question why it is difficult for her to accept that my intentions are sincere and that I genuinely enjoy cuddling.

Straight up and subtle with my words I can’t control the implication
I communicate honestly and indirectly, unable to control how others interpret or perceive the underlying implications of my words.

Cuz that’s a mix of what you heard and how you chose to take it
The resulting meaning is a combination of the words you heard from me and the way you personally choose to interpret them.

And that depends on norms that you were raised with
The interpretation of my words also depends on the cultural norms and upbringing that have influenced your perception.

Some take offense to things that others find their way with
What one person considers offensive, others may find a comfortable and familiar way of expressing themselves.

Some make the best of what they have while others live their lives complaining
Some individuals choose to make the most out of their circumstances, while others constantly complain and remain dissatisfied.

Right now I'm doing both in an attempt to try to paint it
Currently, I find myself oscillating between making the best of my situation and expressing my grievances, attempting to depict the complexity of my life.

Cuz I've been residing in a state that I feel opaque in
I have been existing in a mental and emotional state where everything feels unclear and obscure.

Trynna find the faith that I eventually will make it
I am actively searching for the belief and confidence that I will eventually succeed and achieve my goals.

To a time that I am fine with all the times I wasn’t
I long for a future where I come to terms with all the moments in my past that have caused me pain and dissatisfaction.

Looking at my life I've had a dime a dozen
When I reflect on my life, I realize that I have experienced numerous common and unremarkable moments.

It's gonna be heavy
I anticipate that the weight and impact of my actions and choices will be significant.

When you see my demise
In the future, when you witness my downfall or failure.

For now out the belly
But at present, I am emerging and freeing myself from difficult circumstances.

Of the beast I arise
I am rising and transcending the challenges and struggles that have held me back.

And how can you tell me
And why do you believe

That you don’t see it like I do
That you cannot perceive or understand situations from my perspective.

Salvation at that mountain peak I climb to
I find salvation and a sense of fulfillment when I reach the summit of the metaphorical mountain I am climbing.

Salvation at that mountain peak I climb to
Salvation, both in a literal and metaphorical sense, is attained when I reach the peak of my personal journey.

Salvation at that mountain peak I climb to
Reaching the highest point of my endeavors brings about salvation, joy, and the fulfillment of my aspirations.

Salvation at that mountain peak I climb to
The summit of the mountain represents salvation for me, where I find solace and triumph over the challenges I face.