if
Allan Johnson Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

The old man was covered with tattoos and scars
He got some in prison and others in bars
The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime
They looked like tombstones in our yard
And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean
He sold used parts to make ends meet
Covered with grease from his head to his feet
Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat and mosquiters
And the neighbors said we lived like hicks
But they brung their cars for pa to fix anyhow
He was veteran-proud tried and true
He'd fought till his heart was black and blue
Didn't know how he'd made it through the hard times
He bought our house on the GI Bill
But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to git it
He drank pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black
Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack
Had an old dog that was trained to attack sometimes
He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake
And there wasn't too much that he would take from a stranger

There were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs
A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs
I spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter
Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord
Workin' like a nigger for my room and board
Coal-burin' stove no natural gas
If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I've met Johnny Cash
If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

Mama sells eggs at a grocery store
My oldest sister is a first-rate whore
Dad says she can't come home anymore and he means it
Ma just sits and keeps her silence
Sister she left 'cause dad got violent and he knows it
Mama she's old far beyond her time
From chopping tobacco and I've seen her cryin'
When blood started flowin' from her calloused hand and it hurt me
She'd just keep workin' tryin' to help the old man
To the end of one row and back again like always
She's been through hell since junior went to jail
When the lights go out she ain't never failed
To get down on her knees and pray because she loves him
Told all the neighbors he was off in the war
Fightin' for freedom he's good to the core and she's proud
Now our place was a graveyard for automobiles
At the end of the porch there was four stacks of wheels and tires for sale
For a dollar or two cash

There was fifty holes in an old tin roof
Me and my family we was livin' proof
The people who forgot about poor white trash
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I've met Johnny Cash
If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
Concerning the great speckled bird




I didn't know God made honky tonk angels
And went back to the wild side of life

Overall Meaning

Allan Johnson's song "If" tells a powerful story about a family living in the rural Southern United States. The singer introduces the listener to his old man, who is covered in tattoos and scars. The father figure also drank heavily, chewed tobacco, and had an attack dog. Despite his tough demeanor, the father was a proud veteran who worked hard to get by selling used car parts. The singer acknowledges that their family was poor, with thirteen kids, a yard full of hogs, and a house full of chickens. They had to chop wood for the winter and work hard for their room and board. The song captures the grit and hardship of rural life in the South, highlighting the family's determination and resilience.


The lyrics also reveal some dark aspects of the family's life. The singer's oldest sister is a prostitute, and their father is violent with her. The mother silently endures his abuse, and the father uses her to make money selling eggs. The family is living in extreme poverty, with a house full of holes and a tin roof that has fifty more. Despite their struggles, the family keeps going, and the mother continues to pray for her son, who has gone to jail.


The song provides insights into the realities of life in the rural South. The singer's family is living hand-to-mouth, and the father has had to deal with his own demons from his time in prison and bars. However, they are proud of their country, and the singer's father is a veteran who has fought for his country. Even in the darkest of times, the family continues to hold on to their faith and their sense of resilience.


Line by Line Meaning

The old man was covered with tattoos and scars
The singer's father was heavily marked with tattoos and scars, earned both in prison and bars and from working on junk cars.


He got some in prison and others in bars
Some of the tattoos and scars on the singer's father were a result of his time spent in prison, while others were from bar fights.


The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime
In addition to the tattoos and scars from prison and bars, the father also accumulated scars while working on old cars during the day.


They looked like tombstones in our yard
The father's tattoo-covered body was often visible in the yard and appeared like tombstones.


And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean
The artist's father was always tired and seemed to be in a bad mood whenever he was seen by his family.


He sold used parts to make ends meet
The father made a living selling used car parts to make ends meet for his large family.


Covered with grease from his head to his feet
The father was often covered in grease and dirt from his work on cars.


Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat and mosquiters
The father would swear as he worked in hot Texas weather and battled mosquitoes.


And the neighbors said we lived like hicks
The artist's family was judged by their peers and called hicks due to their lifestyle and appearance.


But they brung their cars for pa to fix anyhow
Despite the negative judgment from neighbors, they would still bring their cars to the father for him to fix.


He was veteran-proud tried and true
The father was proud of his service as a veteran and remained loyal to his country.


He'd fought till his heart was black and blue
The father had served in battle until he was physically and emotionally injured.


Didn't know how he'd made it through the hard times
The singer didn't understand how his father was able to survive through the hard times in his life.


He bought our house on the GI Bill
The father purchased the family's house using benefits from the GI Bill.


But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to git it
The father had to sacrifice a lot in his life to obtain the house, and it wasn't worth all of the struggles and hardships he went through.


He drank pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black
The father would drink cheap beer and whiskey as a form of relaxation and enjoyment.


Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack
The father chewed tobacco from a specific brand of mail pouch sack.


Had an old dog that was trained to attack sometimes
The singer's father had a dog that was trained to attack at times, possibly for protection.


He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake
The father's personality would change when he was drunk and he would become hostile, like a rattlesnake.


And there wasn't too much that he would take from a stranger
The father was not easily intimidated by strangers and would not tolerate any disrespect from them.


There were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs
The artist's family included a large number of children and several dogs.


A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs
The family also had chickens in their house and hogs in their yard.


I spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter
During the summer, the singer would chop logs to prepare for the colder months ahead.


Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord
The artist was struggling to find faith and a sense of meaning in their life.


Workin' like a nigger for my room and board
The singer was working extremely hard, like a slave, to earn their keep in the family.


Coal-burin' stove no natural gas
The family had a coal-burning stove for cooking, as opposed to using natural gas.


If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass
The singer is stating that their experience and lifestyle is what it means to be truly country, and they challenge anyone who thinks otherwise.


If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope
The artist's experience and lifestyle is so authentically country, they argue that even the Pope would be convinced.


If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
Those who don't believe that the artist's life is truly country are viewed as ignorant and misinformed.


I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I've met Johnny Cash
The singer has had the privilege of going to see the Grand Ole Opry and meeting the legendary Johnny Cash.


Mama sells eggs at a grocery store
The singer's mother sells eggs at a local grocery store to help support the family.


My oldest sister is a first-rate whore
The artist's oldest sister works as a prostitute, which has caused conflict within the family.


Dad says she can't come home anymore and he means it
The father has decided that the sister is no longer welcome in their home, and he is serious about it.


Ma just sits and keeps her silence
The artist's mother remains quiet and doesn't speak up about her opinions on the family's problems.


Sister she left 'cause dad got violent and he knows it
The sister left home because her father became violent and he is aware that it was his behavior that caused her to leave.


Mama she's old far beyond her time
The artist's mother has aged beyond her years due to the difficult life she has lived, including working in fields and homes.


From chopping tobacco and I've seen her cryin'
The mother has had to work hard in fields, which has taken a toll on her physical health, and the singer has seen her cry because of this.


When blood started flowin' from her calloused hand and it hurt me
The singer was deeply affected when they saw their mother's bleeding, calloused hand caused by the tough work she did with her hands.


She'd just keep workin' tryin' to help the old man
Despite the physical toll on her, the mother would keep working in order to help support the family and her husband.


To the end of one row and back again like always
The mother's work was never-ending and she would work tirelessly, starting at one end of a row and continuing to the other end and back again.


She's been through hell since junior went to jail
The mother has had a tough time since one of her children, Junior, went to jail.


When the lights go out she ain't never failed
Despite the hardships, the mother continues to keep the family together, even during dark times.


To get down on her knees and pray because she loves him
The mother prays for Junior and shows her love for him, despite any negative things he may have done.


Told all the neighbors he was off in the war
The family told their neighbors that Junior was away fighting in a war.


Fightin' for freedom he's good to the core and she's proud
The artist's mother is proud of Junior and tells the neighbors that he is overseas fighting for freedom, and emphasizes that he is a good person at heart.


Now our place was a graveyard for automobiles
The family's yard was full of old, abandoned cars, giving it the appearance of a car graveyard.


At the end of the porch there was four stacks of wheels and tires for sale
The family had four stacks of wheels and tires for sale at the end of the porch.


For a dollar or two cash
The family was selling the wheels and tires for a very low price for quick cash.


There was fifty holes in an old tin roof
The family's house had numerous holes in the roof, which led to leaks during rain storms.


Me and my family we was livin' proof
The singer and their family were a living example of the challenges and difficulties faced by poor white people in rural America.


The people who forgot about poor white trash
The family was largely forgotten by the rest of society and viewed as poor white trash due to their living conditions and lifestyle.


And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass
The artist emphasizes that their way of life and experiences are the epitome of what it means to be truly 'country', and challenges anyone who disagrees.


If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope
In the artist's opinion, their way of life and experiences are so unique and authentic that even the pope would be amazed by it.


If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
Those who disagree with the singer's idea of what it means to be 'country' are viewed as foolish and naive.


I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
The singer is thinking of their loved one, commonly referred to as 'blue eyes'.


Concerning the great speckled bird
The artist is thinking about the song 'The Great Speckled Bird', which is often associated with religion and faith.


I didn't know God made honky tonk angels
The artist is surprised that God would create people who would engage in a promiscuous and sinful lifestyle, referred to as 'honky tonk angels'.


And went back to the wild side of life
The artist reminisces about past events when they were living a wild and exciting lifestyle.




Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

Genre not found
Artist not found
Album not found
Song not found
Comments from YouTube:

@ender1853

“Where were you when they built that ladder to heaven..”

@FortunaGloxinia

Where were you when they ran out of stuff to build the ladder to heaven?

@mariadelourdessantos9184

@@FortunaGloxinias o

@hawkmanwalter4250

9/11 9/11 9/11

@FortunaGloxinia

9 9 9 / 11

@dedrabuckler9421

I was still the gleam in my Daddy's eye.

309 More Replies...

@Tool_fan

R.I.P Kenny keep building that ladder

@aaronburns9538

Well I for one believe in the ladder to heaven.

@MarjanJanczyk

thumbs up if South Park brought you here

@CaseysRepository

No. South Park i do enjoy alot of the moments and laughed but that part about this not a chance...

More Comments

More Versions