You Don't Need Him
Barbara Borgelin Lyrics
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You don't need him to bring him anything he claims
You're getting old but you're still looking fine
Look at your face, it hardly shows a line
You don't need him to shout for dinner at six
You don't need him just 'cause there's nothing he can't fix
You're so grown into him that you can't see
It's in vain
when you try to make me understand
Why you put up with all this pain
I would never choose that man
You don't need him to despise all things you do
You don't need him, he hardly says I love you too
You stay alive but how long will it last
His sullen moods will make you age so fast
It's in vain
when you try to make me understand
Why you put up with all this pain
I would never choose that man
You don't need him to scold you all through the night
You don't need him to tell you that you're not that bright
You're much more worth than him but you don't know
Tell me why do you fear that he should ever go
It's in vain
when you try to make me understand
Why you put up with all this pain
I would never choose that man
You don't need him to let you down all the time
You don't need him to punish you each time you shine
You're so close to me and that's why it hurts
You will never take action with these words
It's in vain
when you try to make me understand
Why you put up with all this pain
I would never choose that man
It's in vain
when you try to make me understand
Why you put up with all this pain
I would never choose that man
It's in vain, it's in vain, it's in vain
'cause you don't need him
The lyrics of Barbara Borgelin's "You Don't Need Him" convey a strong message of empowerment and self-worth, encouraging the listener to recognize their value and break free from a toxic relationship. The first verse highlights the idea that one doesn't need a partner who demeans them or makes false claims about their value. The mention of growing old yet still looking fine suggests that external appearances should not dictate one's self-worth, and the singer challenges the listener to see beyond surface-level judgments.
The lyrics then delve into the dynamics of a dysfunctional relationship, where the partner's behavior is controlling and dismissive. The repetition of "you don't need him" serves as a poignant reminder that the listener is capable of standing on their own and should not rely on someone who undermines their self-esteem. The reference to self-destruction hints at the destructive nature of staying in a harmful relationship, not just for oneself but for those who care about them.
As the song progresses, the singer questions why the listener tolerates the pain and mistreatment inflicted by their partner. The lines "You stay alive but how long will it last // His sullen moods will make you age so fast" paint a grim picture of the toll that a toxic relationship can take on one's well-being and happiness. The repetition of the phrase "it's in vain" underscores the futility of trying to rationalize staying with a partner who brings more harm than good.
Furthermore, the lyrics touch on themes of verbal and emotional abuse, as the partner is depicted as someone who constantly belittles and undermines the listener's worth. The repeated refrain "Why you put up with all this pain // I would never choose that man" conveys the singer's disbelief and frustration at witnessing someone they care about endure such mistreatment. The closing lines emphasize that the listener ultimately has the power to break free from the toxic cycle and reclaim their autonomy, asserting confidently, "You don't need him."
Line by Line Meaning
You don't need him to call you all sorts of names
You are confident and strong enough not to seek validation from someone who belittles you.
You don't need him to bring him anything he claims
You don't have to prove yourself to someone who constantly demands things from you.
You're getting old but you're still looking fine
You are aging gracefully and still beautiful despite the passing years.
Look at your face, it hardly shows a line
Your face doesn't reflect the hardships you've faced because you carry yourself with strength.
You're so grown into him that you can't see
You are so deeply involved with him that you fail to recognize the harm he causes.
Your self-destruction is destroying me
Your actions are negatively impacting me as well, and it hurts to see you suffer.
You don't need him to despise all things you do
You are worthwhile and should not have to deal with someone who criticizes your every move.
You don't need him, he hardly says I love you too
You deserve love and respect, which should not be withheld by someone who refuses to acknowledge your worth.
You stay alive but how long will it last
Surviving in this toxic environment is not sustainable, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being.
His sullen moods will make you age so fast
His negative demeanor will take a toll on your mental and emotional health, accelerating the aging process.
You don't need him to scold you all through the night
You should not endure constant criticism and nagging that diminish your self-worth.
You don't need him to tell you that you're not that bright
Your intelligence and capabilities are not defined by someone who undermines your abilities.
You're much more worth than him but you don't know
Your value surpasses his, yet you fail to recognize your own worth in this relationship.
Tell me why do you fear that he should ever go
There's no reason to fear his departure as it would liberate you from the toxicity of this relationship.
You don't need him to let you down all the time
You deserve someone who uplifts and supports you rather than constantly disappointing you.
You don't need him to punish you each time you shine
You should not be penalized for your successes and achievements, as they should be celebrated.
You're so close to me and that's why it hurts
Our connection makes it painful to see you suffer, and I wish to see you free from this anguish.
You will never take action with these words
Mere words won't be enough to initiate change; action is crucial to break free from this harmful relationship.
It's in vain, it's in vain, it's in vain
Attempting to justify staying with him is futile and will not lead to positive change.
'cause you don't need him
You are strong enough to stand on your own and do not require his presence in your life.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Barbara Borgelin
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind