Innocence Destructing
Beauty's Confusion Lyrics

How do I have faith
I struggle to trust the people around me.

When I believe
Despite wanting to trust them, I fear being let down.

They will turn me down
I cannot help but anticipate being rejected by others.

I try, I try to trust you
I attempt to put faith in others despite my doubts.

But you never follow through
Others' lack of reliability reinforces my skepticism.

Before I turn myself away
I do not want to reject others preemptively, so I fight against my doubts.

For you
For the sake of preserving our relationship.

I am not
Contrary to appearances,

This isolated
I am not as lonely or separated as I may seem.

I am not
Despite my awkwardness,

This shy or strange or jaded
I am not distant or unapproachable, just guarded.

I am innocence destructing
I fear change and will inadvertently harm myself in trying to maintain my status quo.

Turn on you to force the change
I may lash out at you to avoid the discomfort of change.

Turn myself into the victim
I risk making myself suffer rather than confronting my fear of change head-on.

Of my own creation
I am responsible for my own misery; I create it by refusing to confront my fear of change.

I am disconnection central
I am at the center of my own isolation

Lost the party on my line
Despite my desire for connection, I struggle to make meaningful relationships.

Too much longing in this distance
I yearn for connection but cannot overcome my fear of vulnerability.

For a new form of communication
I am open to different ways of establishing connections with others, but struggle to take the initiative.

Communication
Ultimately, my fear and reluctance to connect with others stems from my lack of effective communication skills.