First Time
Becca Mancari Lyrics
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Under porch lights with my sister's old cigarettes
With your hands hanging to your side and my face to your chest
They say the heart grows stronger,
But man it's hard to get back on track
I remember the first time I tried to tell you the truth
Would the God you love take that love so easily back?
They say the heart grows stronger,
But man it's hard to get back on track
They say the heart grows stronger,
But man it's hard to get back on track
Hey did you find your way out?
Hey did you find your way out?
Hey did you find your way out?
Hey did you find your way out?
Hey did you find your way out?
Hey did you find your way out?
Hey did you find your way out?
Hey did you find your way out?
I remember the first time my dad didn't hug me back
"First Time" is a song about the pain and confusion of losing the love and approval of a parent, and struggling to regain a sense of belonging and acceptance. The opening lines describe a moment when the singer reaches out for a hug from her father, only to be met with cold, unresponsive hands. The memory is set against a backdrop of porch lights and cigarette smoke, evoking a sense of melancholy and nostalgia.
The second verse shifts to a more abstract reflection on the nature of love, expressed in a question addressed to a lover or perhaps to God. The singer wonders whether the love she gives will be taken away from her, and whether it is worth risking the pain of rejection and loss. This fear is tied to the experience of losing her father's affection, and the difficulty of recovering from that emotional wound.
Throughout the song, the repeated refrain "They say the heart grows stronger, but man it's hard to get back on track" expresses the tension between the resilience of the human spirit and the struggle to overcome past traumas and emotional barriers. The final lines pose a question that is left open-ended, as if the singer is searching for a way to move forward but hasn't yet found the answer.
Line by Line Meaning
I remember the first time my dad didn't hug me back
The memory of my dad neglecting me for the first time hurt me deeply and stayed with me.
Under porch lights with my sister's old cigarettes
The setting of the memory was under the dim light of the porch with the lingering smell of my sister's past cigarettes.
With your hands hanging to your side and my face to your chest
My father's arms hung limply by his side as I pressed my face against his chest, hoping for an embrace that never came.
They say the heart grows stronger, But man it's hard to get back on track
While time may heal emotional wounds, it's still difficult to fully recover and move forward.
I remember the first time I tried to tell you the truth
Recalling the moment when I attempted to be honest with someone about my feelings for the first time.
On a Sunday drive with my heart stuck in my chest
The confession took place during a leisurely Sunday drive but the fear of rejection kept my heart feeling heavy.
Would the God you love take that love so easily back?
I questioned whether a higher power would be so quick to take away the love that was so hard for me to express.
Hey did you find your way out?
The repetition of this question may indicate a desire to move on from past pain and find a way to heal.
Contributed by Jonathan H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@katielively9107
I want “Hey, did you find your way out?” tattooed on me. Thank you for being truthful and vulnerable- and for making it okay to be ourselves.
@davidadewusi5917
I want this too lol
@sulungkoesuma
"Would the God you love take that love so easily back?" Wowwoowowowowwwww
Love you already Becca...
<3
@ghenderson6717
Just want to hug that girl. Just want to reassure all hurting children and young people. You are loved. I love you, you deserve love and please love yourself. Be a great friend to yourself, dear,♥️
@izabelaverdon4536
I am sorry Becca ! I hope your heart grow stronger every day! And provide us with your wonderful music!
@chrismancari8636
Yes! I LOVE YOU SISTER!
@beccamancari
love you!!
@kais3242
i couldn't believe a supermarket would play a song this underrated, im soo glad to hear and discover it
@davidadewusi5917
This is such a beautiful video. Thank you Becca
@moon-mk1dk
I heard this playing at H&M... I literally downloaded shazam just to find out what song this was!!