Put It There Pal
Bob Hope Lyrics

I don't care where I'm going
I'm not particular about where I'm headed

Just as long as I'm with you
As long as we're together, that's all that matters

Put it there, pal. Put it there
Let's shake on it

I'll be just like your horses
I'll be loyal to you, like a horse to its owner

And I'll stick to you like glue
I'll never leave your side, I'll be with you always

I'm glad you're fooling Pepsodent (oh, that happy snow)
I'm happy you're doing well and making people laugh, even if it's at the expense of a toothpaste brand

Stealing all that cash
Joking around and making money

I hear your show on Thursdays (nice, huh?)
I listen to your radio show on Thursdays and enjoy it, don't you?

What a lot of eggs you smash
You sure know how to make a mess on stage

Well at least I don't depend upon
I may not be as successful as some, but at least I'm not reliant on someone else's M.O.

Colonna's big moustache (oh, he gave me the brush)
I'm not a fan of Colonna's mustache, and he doesn't seem to like me much either

You're faithful and you're fair
I can always count on you to be loyal and honest

Put it there (skin me Dad, skin me)
Let's shake hands (with a bit of a rough and tumble)

You've got that something in your voice
Your voice has a quality that's perfectly suited for certain things

So right for selling cheese (hustle a lot of the stuff)
In particular, it's great for selling cheese, which you're very good at

Put it there, pal. Put it there (put that back in the bowl)
Let's shake on it again (after you put that cheese back)

You know, I think your jokes are great (really?)
I genuinely think your jokes are funny and entertaining

It's just that folks are hard to please (they're just snobs, that all)
Unfortunately, it's not always easy to satisfy an audience, some people are just overly critical

Put it there, pal. Put it there
Let's shake on it once more

Your face could make a fortune
Your appearance is quite striking and marketable

Just your nose should make a lot (how do you siphon?)
Your nose alone could make you a lot of money, and I wonder how you manage to draw so much attention to it

I like the way you wear those gaudy-colored shirts you've got, boy
I appreciate your bold fashion choices, you really stand out

The only time a rainbow ever covered up a pot
You're so colorful and bold, you could overshadow even a rainbow

You're such a perfect square (oh-oh, is that on the paper?)
You're such a straight-laced guy, almost like a perfect square (and I hope that's not written anywhere)

(Where? Where?)
What are you asking about? I'm not sure what you're talking about

Shall we dance
Would you like to dance with me?

Sorry, I have my heavy underwear on
No, I'm not up for dancing right now, I'm wearing heavy underwear

Oh, just to once around, to the adrenalin, huh
I was only suggesting a quick dance to get our blood flowing, no big deal

Well, OK, if I lead
Fine, we can dance if you take charge

My colleague, my crony, my cohort, my friend
You're all of those things to me

Companions, confederates, chums to the end
We're in this together, always by each other's side

Like meat and potatoes, or salt and tomatoes
We're perfect complements, like some classic duos

Boy, what a blend
We really make a great team

Don't put it in the paper (don't worry about me)
Let's keep our conversation private (I'm not concerned about being misquoted or anything)

Don't put it on the air (I'll finish it)
Don't mention it on your show (I'll take care of it myself)

Don't put it in your pipe
Don't even think about smoking anything illegal or getting high

Put it there
Let's shake hands one last time before parting ways

Confidentially, do you like this as well as singing
Just between us, do you enjoy doing this as much as singing?

Leave your name with the girl when you go out
If you don't mind, could you give your name to the woman at the door before you leave?

We may get to you for some crowd noises
We might need you to make some noise during our live shows

Be sure and call me
Make sure to contact me if you're interested in collaborating again

All right
Agreed, goodbye for now