Snooker Loopy
Chas 'n' Dave Lyrics

Snooker loopy nuts are we
We all love snooker and are passionate about playing it

Me and him and them and me
We are a group of friends who enjoy playing snooker together

We'll show you what we can do
We are confident in our ability to play snooker and are willing to demonstrate our skills

With a load of balls and a snooker cue
All we need is a set of snooker balls and a cue to have a good time

Pot the reds then, skrew back
The game of snooker involves potting the red balls first and then playing the other colors in a specific order, hence 'skrew back'

For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
These are the colors of the balls in snooker, played in the order listed

Now ol' Milo as we all know's
We are introducing a friend of ours named Milo

Got loadsa dappa suits
Milo is known for wearing stylish suits

London bred and he keeps his head
Milo is from London and remains calm and composed even in high-pressure situations

'Though he's got Italian roots
Milo is of Italian descent

Emotional but he keeps his cool
Milo can be emotional at times but doesn't let it affect his game

'Til he reaches the finals
Milo tends to get more emotional when he reaches the later stages of a competition

And whether he wins or whether he don't
Regardless of the outcome of the game, Milo remains passionate about snooker

'I always bite me eyeballs'
Milo expresses his excitement by biting his own eyeballs

Now our friend Den, hours he spent
We are introducing another friend of ours named Den

Down the snooker hall
Den spends a lot of time playing snooker at the local hall

On the old green baize his mates seem amazed
Den's friends are impressed by his skills on the snooker table

At skills with a snooker ball
Den is particularly talented at playing snooker

And them long shots, he never ever got
Den used to struggle with long shots

Why? The old mind boggles
We are unsure why Den struggled with long shots

But nowadays he pots the lot
Den has become much better at playing long shots

'Cos I wear these goggles'
Den attributes his improvement to a pair of goggles he wears while playing

Now Terry the taff was born in a gaff
We are introducing yet another friend of ours named Terry

In the valleys of the land of song
Terry is from a Welsh valley known for its musical heritage

And as the reds he puts to bed
Terry is good at potting the red balls

He likes to sing along
Terry enjoys singing while he plays snooker

And if I win he says with a grin
Terry is confident in his ability to win

It can only help me can't it
Terry believes that singing along while playing will improve his game

I'll celebrate, I'll buy another eight
If Terry wins, he plans to celebrate by buying hairbrushes

'Hairbrushes for me barnet'
Terry wants to buy hairbrushes for his hair ('barnet' is slang for hair)

Now old Willy Thorne his hair's all gone
We are introducing a professional snooker player named Willy Thorne

And his mates all take the rise
Willy's friends make fun of him for being bald

His opponent said cover up his head
During a match, Willy's opponent asked him to wear a hat or something to cover his bald head

Cos it's shining in my eyes
Willy's bald head was reflecting the light and distracting his opponent

When the light shines down on his bare crown
The overhead lights in the snooker hall shine down on Willy's bald head

It's a cert he's gonna walk it
Willy is likely to win the game because he is a skilled player

'Perhaps I ought to chalk it'
Willy jokes that he should put some chalk on his bald head to reduce the glare

Now Steve last year come very near
We are introducing yet another friend of ours named Steve

To winning the snooker crown
Steve almost won a major snooker competition last year

But he never got to put it on his ginger nut
Unfortunately, Steve did not win the competition

Cos the black ball wouldn't go down
Steve missed a shot on the black ball, which would have won him the game

His manager of all said 'Sod that ball'
Steve's manager was frustrated with the missed shot

But it helped him make his mind up
Steve decided to focus on his friends and having fun rather than winning at all costs

Now he don't care who wins this year
Steve is not concerned with winning the competition this year

'Cos he's got the rest of us signed up'
Steve is happy to be playing snooker with his friends and doesn't need to win to enjoy himself

Snooker loopy nuts are we
We love playing snooker

We're all snooker loopy
Each of us is passionate about snooker