I'VE GOT TO GO NOW
Childs Toni Lyrics

This man I married is buried deep
My husband is lost in addiction and I can't reach him

And the more I try to wake him, the more he sleeps
My attempts to help him only push him further into his addiction

I used to think I knew this man
I thought I knew who my husband was, but addiction has changed him

The tenderness, not the back of his hand
I used to know his kind, gentle side, but now I only see his abusive behavior

It's been two weeks since he last had a drink
He's been sober for a short time, but I know it's not enough

But the time bomb's ticking, I can never sleep
I'm constantly on edge, waiting for him to relapse

It would be easier if he did
It's painful to watch him struggle, and it would be easier if he just gave in to his addiction

Why do you stay here, stay with him
Others question why I stay with him, but they don't understand the complexity of addiction and love

Why do you do it
Why do you put us through this pain and abuse?

Why do you treat us bad
Your addiction makes you treat us poorly and hurt us

When you've got two kids that love you
Your children still love you, despite your addiction and behavior

And a wife that's missing you bad
I miss the man you used to be, before addiction took over

I've got to go now
I can't continue living like this, it's time to leave

I've got to say goodbye
It's time to say goodbye to the man you used to be and the life we had

Don't try to stop us now
I won't be persuaded to stay, I'm leaving for good

And please don't you cry
I don't want to see you hurt, but I can't stay here anymore

Can't you see, we've all been through it
We've been through too much pain and heartache because of your addiction

It's all been said before
We've had this conversation many times, but this time it's different, I'm leaving

With all these fears
I'm scared of what the future holds, but I know I can't stay here

For how many years can I keep coming
I can't keep coming back to this cycle of addiction and abuse

Back for more
I can't keep putting myself and my children through this pain anymore

Must be addicted to all this pain
I keep coming back to this situation despite the pain it causes, like an addiction

'Cause I keep coming back for the shame
I feel guilty and ashamed for staying in this situation and not leaving sooner

Dear God, give me the strength to leave
I need a higher power to help me find the strength to leave and start a new life

Don't pull that stuff on me
Don't try to stop me from leaving or making me feel guilty for doing so

I've got the kids all packed up
I'm taking my children with me, we're leaving this life behind

Harry's in the back with his pick-up truck
My son is helping with the move, we're leaving together as a family

Jenny's fallen asleep again
My daughter is asleep, and I need to keep driving until we're far away from this life

I've got to keep driving 'til I reach the end
I'm not stopping until we're far away and starting a new life

I can't come back here anymore
This place, this life, this man, and his addiction have caused us too much pain

And I know it
I know, without a doubt, that leaving is the right thing to do for myself and my children

And I know it
I'm sure of my decision to leave, no matter how difficult it may be