awakening
Deviated Presence Lyrics

For a long time it hasn't been there, perhaps never...
It silently snuck up on me and has always been present, even though I didn't realize it until now.

Quietly it crept along all the time, always there, but not with me.
My problems were lurking in the background of my life, but I was unaware of them.

Now it's here, feeds on and destroys me.
My issues have surfaced and are consuming me, leading to my downfall.

It's everywhere, I cannot flee without leaving myself.
My problems are all-encompassing and inescapable, and dealing with them will change me irrevocably.

Time captures me, Will it increase my distance?
I feel like I am running out of time and am worried that resolving my issues will push me even further away from my goals.

The tears will dry, or never be cried, when they fall it will leave with Them and nothing will be left of me. An awakening to see the downfall, Like an old leaf that receives cognition before it's blown away, Just to realize: now it's too late.
Even when I do cry, my pain and struggles will not last forever, and eventually, I will be left with a hollow feeling. I have finally become aware of the extent of my problems, but it may already be too late to fix them.

Is this a dream or a nightmare? Summerdays fade.
I am unsure if the current situation is a good or bad thing, and time seems to be slipping away from me.

A part of me dies, buried by the other, secluded and without remorse. It's still, the funeral in solemn peace, in the air's the question: "What shall become?"
One part of me is dying while another is taking over, causing me to feel lost and uncertain about what will happen next.

Here I lie now and watch. It's another life. Through the looking glass I Can see, clouds drag past like ethereal to show that the time goes by, While my mind is clear in empty space.
I feel like I am observing my life from a different perspective and watching the passage of time while feeling detached from it.

You think you can be, but are not there. This world of repeating Obscurities, back from my deviations time diverges to capture me in Presence. The only way has no return betrayed by myself.
Despite thinking I know who I am, I am lost and confused. My past actions and mistakes have caught up with me and taken control.

The fall came suddenly, Meaningless everything now. Weightless, all burdenings are gone. Absolute freedom, feel it before the eternal nothingness.
My life has fallen apart, and I feel like everything I once cared about no longer matters. However, I now feel free of my burdens and can appreciate my newfound freedom.

Perishing finally my life leaks out, Next to the flowers, My torment beneath their beauty, the memories gather Waving like seeds in the summernights' wind, Reminders of gratification.
My life is coming to an end, and I am reminded of past regrets and lost opportunities. Memories of happier times still haunt me.

And soon the mourning will end. Repentance fills emptiness with grief. There won't be a return, The sorrow has found its end.
My sorrow will eventually come to an end, and I realize the extent of my past mistakes. I am filled with grief and regret, but I know that I cannot change the past and must move forward.