You're the One
Dr. Martini Lyrics

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You are a cruel and heartless character, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel
You are truly despicable and unpleasant

You're as cuddly as a cactus
You are as warm and friendly as a prickly cactus plant

You're as charming as an eel
You are as likable and trustworthy as a slippery eel

Mr. Grinch
A term used to address or refer to the despicable character previously described

You're a bad banana
You are rotten and unpleasant like a bad banana

With a greasy black peel
Your outer appearance is ugly and unappealing, with a slimy, oily appearance

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch
You are a terrible and inhumane creature, Mr. Grinch

Your heart's an empty hole
You lack empathy and any kind of emotion that makes one human, Mr. Grinch

Your brain is full of spiders
Your thoughts and ideas are twisted and creepy, like a spider's web, Mr. Grinch

You've got garlic in your soul
You are filled with a sense of evil and malice, represented by the stench of garlic, Mr. Grinch

I wouldn't touch you
I find you so repulsive and revolting that I wouldn't even consider touching you

With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole
I wouldn't even want to come close to you or associate with you, even at a distance

All I need is a reindeer
The Grinch wanted a means of transportation to make his mischievous plan possible

The Grinch looked around
The Grinch searched for a reindeer to aid in his evil intentions

But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found
The Grinch was unable to find a reindeer to use for his plan since they were not readily available

Did that stop the Grinch
Did that hinder, deter, or discourage the Grinch from carrying out his plan?

Ha, the Grinch simply said
The Grinch was unfazed by the scarcity of reindeer and had a solution for it

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
If the Grinch could not find a reindeer, he planned on improvising and making one from scratch

So he took his dog Max, he took some black thread
The Grinch took his dog Max and black thread to use in making his reindeer

And he tied a big horn on top of his head
With the black thread, the Grinch tied a large horn on top of Max's head to make him resemble a reindeer

Then he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks
The Grinch gathered some bags and old empty sacks to carry out his plan of stealing the Whos' Christmas presents

On a ramshackle sleigh
The Grinch had a makeshift and somewhat unstable sleigh to use as transportation

And he whistled for Max
The Grinch called out for Max to join him on his sleigh

Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!"
The Grinch urged Max to move and start the journey towards the Whos' homes

And the sleigh started down
The Grinch's sleigh began its descent onto the Whos' town

Toward the homes where the Whos lay asnooze in their town
The Grinch was heading towards where the Whos sleep, unaware of his intentions to steal their Christmas presents

All their windows were dark
All the lights in the Whos' houses were off and it seemed as if they were asleep

No one knew he was there
The Grinch was not expected, and his presence was unknown to anyone

All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
The Whos were happily dreaming, completely oblivious to the upcoming events

When he came to the first little house on the square
The Grinch arrived at the first house, intending to steal their presents

"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed
The Grinch spoke to himself and referred to his plan as stop number one, hissed in a way that implied his evil nature

And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist
The Grinch climbed to the roof, holding the empty bags meant for stealing the Whos' presents

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch
The Grinch squeezed himself down the chimney, which was a little bit difficult because of the tight fit

But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch
The Grinch was able to do what Santa Claus is able to do, which is slide down a chimney to get inside a house

He got stuck only once, for a minute or two
The Grinch encountered an obstacle in the chimney, but only briefly and without any serious issues

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
The Grinch was able to free himself by pushing his head out of the fireplace's opening

Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row
The Grinch found where the Whos had hung their Christmas stockings

"These stockings," he grinched, "are the first things to go!"
The Grinch gleefully declared that he would start by stealing the stockings

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant
The Grinch moved around silently and carefully, with a creepy smile on his face

Around the whole room, and he took every present!
The Grinch stole all the presents he could find in the room

Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
The Grinch stole various Christmas presents including toys like pop guns, bicycles, roller skates, and drums

Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
The Grinch also stole other presents including board games, tricycles, popcorn, and plums

And he stuffed them in bags, then the Grinch, very nimbly
The Grinch quickly and skillfully stuffed each of the presents into bags for transport

Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
The Grinch put each of the bags filled with stolen presents up the chimney, in preparation for leaving unnoticed