I Didn't Understand
Elliott Smith (album) Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

What a fucking joke
I waited for a bus to separate the both of us and take me off far away
From you 'cause my feelings never change a bit I always feel like shit I
Don't know why I guess that I \"just do\"
You once talked to me about love and you painted pictures of
A never-neverland and I could've gone to that place
But I didn't understand

I didn't understand
I didn't understand

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Elliott Smith's song "I Didn't Understand" are about the aftermath of a relationship that ended badly. The singer is talking to a former lover who has moved on to someone else, leaving the singer alone and feeling worthless. He knows that she won't miss him because he wasn't good enough for her, and he's just a "cloud of smoke" in her life. He's bitter and angry at himself for not being able to hold onto her and for still feeling miserable after she's gone.

The mood of the song is melancholic and regretful, with the singer conveying a sense of resignation to his fate. He feels like he's trapped in his own pain and can't escape it, no matter how hard he tries. The lyrics also touch on themes of self-doubt, loneliness, and the struggle to find meaning in life after losing someone you love.

Overall, "I Didn't Understand" is a poignant and emotional song that captures the heartache of a broken relationship. It's a sad reminder that even when we do our best, sometimes love isn't enough to keep us together.

Line by Line Meaning

Thought you'd be looking for the next in line to love then ignore
I expected you to seek someone else to love, then push them away like you did to me

Put out and put away
You used me and then discarded me

And so you'd soon be leaving me alone like I'm supposed to be tonight
As you leave, I'll be alone like I always am supposed to be

Tomorrow and everyday
I'll be alone every day, including tomorrow

There's nothing here that you'll miss
You won't miss anything about our relationship

I can guarantee you this is a cloud of smoke
Our relationship was just an illusion, something that wasn't real or lasting

Trying to occupy space
Our relationship was just trying to fill a void, but ultimately it was empty

What a fucking joke
Our relationship was a complete and utter joke

I waited for a bus to separate the both of us and take me off far away
I wanted to leave you and our relationship behind and start fresh somewhere else

From you 'cause my feelings never change a bit I always feel like shit I Don't know why I guess that I "just do"
I always feel bad around you, and I don't know why, but my feelings never change

You once talked to me about love and you painted pictures of A never-neverland and I could've gone to that place
You talked about love and created an idyllic version of a relationship, one that seemed perfect

But I didn't understand
But I didn't fully believe or comprehend what you were saying or promising

I didn't understand
I didn't grasp the depth or meaning of your words or ideas about love

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: STEVEN P. SMITH

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

@moonsuns2941

4y↑64

Thought you'd be looking for the next in line to love then ignore
Put out and put away
And so you'd soon be leaving me alone like I'm supposed to be tonight
Tomorrow and everyday
There's nothing here that you'll miss
I can guarantee you this is a cloud of smoke
Trying to occupy space
What a fucking joke
What a fucking joke
I waited for a bus to separate the both of us and take me off far away
From you 'cause my feelings never change a bit I always feel like shit I
Don't know why I guess that I \"just do\"
You once talked to me about love and you painted pictures of
A never-neverland and I could've gone to that place
But I didn't understand
I didn't understand
I didn't understand

All comments from YouTube:

@kool_thing

4y↑617

Ok, it's time to binge listen to Elliott Smith again I guess.

@bgoumas

4y↑5

Lesia Umanets lol every time right?

@joonpark2144

Right there with you!

@blackstephh

4y↑15

It's always time to binge elliott

@JunkBondTrader

3y↑8

@@blackstephh haha it's an endless binge, therefore not a binge. Elliott is just part of the routine :)

@frisianfreedom1143

3y↑2

Yep😂

10 More Replies...

@datar0t273

4y↑604

im absolutely in shock at the quality of this... it looks like it couldve been filmed yesterday

@datar0t273

4y↑30

you can literally see each individual eyelash without trouble

@aujew

4y↑17

@@aarvlo They had nice digital cameras then, they just werent consumer products at the time.

@Jorikp2

3y↑30

these 2 meter sessions actually put the quality of sound and video recording above all else, it was the program maker's (also the one who interviews) main goal of preserving and recording the music the way the artist intended it to be heard

@takierosales

3y↑5

Amazing quality indeed

@enkhuujinenkhtur3411

3y↑19

@@aujew i am cinematographer and i think it is not digital cameras. I think it is film camera that uses celluloids

3 More Replies...

@gulftoad

4y↑128

Deep breath.
Replay.

@theheartofablackbird2109

4y↑1

Let's turn the record over

@ladypictureshow66

4y↑169

There is something about his voice during the phrase "you once talked to me about love..." that gives me chills every single time I hear this version... love this performance and love him.

@celestevecino1606

4y↑13

i've also remarked on that, he sounds like an innocent child

@Missjunebugfreak

35w↑2

The way he sings that line sounds so vulnerable and pure.

@Anotherroom

2y↑46

Saw a 2003 concert where Elliott talked about a friend who gave him that black bracelet. Looking back, it's so cute that I've started noticing he really DID wear it all the time.

@vargaso

2y↑41

Just a massive loss to music when he died. The best Gen X songwriter by a LONG SHOT, the only one who can stand toe to toe with the best of the 60s and 70s singer/songwriters.

@Lnninpz

Sorry, but can I ask you something?

@JohnnyBoy14532

1y↑8

@@Lnninpz you just did 😊

@Missjunebugfreak

35w

Elliott is actually my favorite songwriter ❤

@TheIkaraCult

2y↑53

This is an afterthought song from Elliott. And it's a song that means everything to me. He shat out genius, he's the greatest songwriter of this century.

@cinnamonkejaro

37w↑4

this has always been one of my favorite Elliott songs. I loved to see him play it live on the piano. I was surprised by the a cappella version on the album when it came out.

@yeet-dv8yk

28w↑1

This wasn’t an after thought song. He revised the song a few times making multiple versions (check out “watch the worlds collide”). It’s just a very subdued, minimal, yet beautiful song

@rickgriego2844

18w

Yes!!!!

@dontbeacoconut

5w↑1

None of Elliott Smith's songs are afterthoughts.

@mrdaniel511

4y↑208

Thank you for this HQ version of an iconic live performance. I can still remember listening to this through my headphones in boot camp when everyone fell asleep... miss you so much, Elliott.

@seanmatthewking

2y↑3

Yes, now I finally know what his pores look like! I always wondered what he looked like from 3 inches away.

@ricochetsixtyten

2y↑39

I wish this was the version on XO, the vocal layering is cool and all but actually hearing the chords clearly is beautiful beyond comprehension.

@fedvvvv

3y↑82

Elliott has been through what we have all been through. He is timeless.

@c.c.s.1102

3y↑6

I miss him so much.

@-solidsnake-

1y↑2

@@c.c.s.1102 yeah it’s sad that he isn’t around, chillin, playing piano and maybe some shows.

@SusanDoran

39w↑1

🙄

@b4byb4ttttt

4w↑2

Something about Elliott internally makes me happy, his music and influence is truly a fresh breath of air, you've been gone for 20 years but you still live on with me rest easy sweet angel 🖤🦋

@josee4283

4y↑28

fucking hell he is good

@SimplyApollo

4y↑51

i can only imagine how much these camera cost in 98

@daveed2589

51w

It was probably shot on film, so still kind of expensive.

@pharmakon551

42w↑3

When he says, "What a fucking joke" I felt that in my SOUL.

@lebonze55

3y↑53

Why this doesn't have billions of views, is beyond me

@davidcopson5800

3y↑3

Nor me, because I've watched three billion times!

@diegobezerra8804

3y↑1

@@davidcopson5800
Me too,and all the songs of him!

@heathrezabek

Just give it time.

@Dylan90210

2y↑2

People don’t want reality, honesty or struggle in art. They want delusions, plastic and a good time.

@justindowling281

2y↑2

@@Dylan90210 Elliott’s music is introspective and his voice may not connect with extroverts, or people looking for something different in their music. No need to diminish music as entertainment to celebrate music as art.

But man do I selfishly want to hear what else Elliott Smith had to say.

@lem4655

8w↑4

Really wish the studio version had piano and wasnt a capella this version is so so good

@somevelvettmourning

9w↑6

The quality of this is incredible. I miss Elliott so much.. my heart breaks regularly over the fact he was taken from us so soon 😔💔

@bobbibaker4685

2y↑5

Nineteen years gone. RIP, dear Elliott. XO

@vaprex

4y↑22

holy shit.. If you look close enough, you can see raw talent leaking from his skin pores on this video.

@BIG_PASTA

4y↑52

One of the most beautiful songs ever.

@parkourguy4567

1y↑11

This might be the most beautiful song I’ve heard

@scottdaly6926

3y↑42

I just cried. I am disgusted from the absolute lack of acknowledgement that this man is by far worlds above the so called "talent" out since he left this life.

He was and is the best, most talented and flat out mind-blowing songwriter I've ever had the chance to see live.
Closest thing to John Lennon I ever came to.
Sadly he left this shit filled world only 4 months after I saw his perform.

I am 37, I've been signed to a major label and toured internationally for almost a decade yet, I'm STILL learning from his songwriting to this very day

@seanhinshaw3736

3y↑3

Were you fortunate enough to ever get a chance to see him live? I'm 37 too and I discovered Elliott maybe 3 months before his suicide, and never getting to see him live will probably be the biggest regret that I die with. Elliott's been my favorite for over a decade and I seriously doubt that anyone will ever be able to surpass his talent. In my opinion one of the most underrated artists to walk the earth. Always was and always will be unfortunately

@seanmatthewking

2y↑1

Damn dude, I like him too but chill out. It’s not so important that he is not known so widely. But he’s very special to the people who know him, and is well-regarded to anyone who knows a lot about music. I think that’s enough.

@seanmatthewking

Amazing I came across him on the Pandora, the music site. I had a “Beatles Radio” (played songs similar to the Beatles), and Son of Sam would come on. Then I listened to Waltz #2, Between the Bars, and a few others. Eventually I just started listening to full albums until I was deeply familiar with all his official albums.

I had known the song Son of Sam for years before looked more into Elliott and his music.

@sophiae.dorval3739

2y↑1

I was at field day fest when he was playing the same time as Blur who I saw instead for the second! time ! (Youth, hormones, Damon) Elliott died that Fall. I will always regret not seeing him live.

@Minnevan

@@sophiae.dorval3739 I love your reasoning of youth, hormones, and Damon. All valid. Definitely unfortunate that you missed Elliott though!

2 More Replies...

@jasonaguirre3461

2y↑6

Nobody curses as beautifully as Elliott

@kevinlong4657

4y↑35

Favorite musician of all time. All time.

@sliver7961

2y↑7

0:27 “And so, you’d soon be leaving me alone like I’m supposed to be tonight, tomorrow and everyday.” That was so depressing but sang beautifully.

@Azafell

4y↑124

this song is absolutely excellent on piano, i prefer it like that. gives me the chills everytime, the lyics hit so close to home it shatters my broken pierced heart into a thousand pieces.... and the HD video just intensifies everything, love seeing him up so close, so tender, so fragile.. his lyrics combined with his expression and posture, this gives so much relatability it's not even real....love u elliott, i know u're at a better place and roam free now, without the weight of this endless sorrow of the world that we live in, a place so exhausting for some souls that utter fragility and despondent sorrow is inevitable, and the yearning for other realms is so powerful, it's almost unreal. i myself at 23 feel that can't endure much more of this unbearable tragedy that is not only my life but life as a whole.... but ur music gives me hope for these horrible strugglings of mine, with heroin/meth addiction, depression and anxiety and other mental health conditions, broken tragic love and dealing with the intricacies of life as someone who finds it very hard even in the smallest of things... and thank u for the inspiration as a fellow musician.. i am deeply metaphysically impressed that u managed to live as long as 34 years, considering your experience here and your sensitivity and worldview, at least how i perceive them based on all the musical and spiritual heritage u left here... RIP, you will always be missed and will always be a dear soulmate to so many troubled wandering souls like you. waiting to meet you in heaven, i hope soon...

@davidcopson5800

4y↑7

Yes. I like the a cappella original but this piano version is perhaps even better.

@opheliajade1986

3y↑4

Beautiful words that resonate with me...and deeply.

@MrZapataJones

3y↑5

Not soon. Please keep fighting!

@Azafell

3y↑4

thanks, i'm still trying : >

@TheBella2u

3y↑2

I wish Elliott had seen his beauty. He was one of a kind and refused to play the game. You are just 23, use the pain to create beautiful music, it’s there. I hope you get the help you need. The world is a dark place but there are so many good people who will listen to you, and help but you must ask for it. Love ❤️ you little brother or sister. Stay strong.

7 More Replies...

@vangoghsseveredear

20w↑1

I listened to this song so much when I was addicted to meth and heroin. I didnt think itd ever get better. I was sure Id die soon.

Its been 7 years. It got better. Elliotts music is even more tragic because he never got to experience it getting better.

@TheresNothingToSee123

2y↑7

I was 2 years old when Elliott Smith passed away...
Now look at me, listening to his songs and watching almost all his interviews. Does that make me any special? No it does not! Because I've never even seen him perform his songs live.
This saddens me.
Why do I have to be born too late! GODDAMN

@astridcarrion405

51w↑7

One of my favorite Elliott performances ever

@herialva298

2y↑2

There's nothing here that you'll miss :(

@moonsuns2941

4y↑64

@Charles5431

holy shit... so classically melancholy mellow

@mothRequiem

3y↑4

i wish he was still here.

@bustoisebustoise994

3y↑5

This song is brutal in a different kind of way

@giordanagreotti4328

11w↑2

Great, beautiful, stunning... what nostalgia and sadness... .missing him so much, even his music is always with me... sometimes I feel I'm listening an old friend... 😢 ❤ love him for ever. Thank you for posting.

@zacac

2y↑6

Voice of an Angel

@lostzephyr2191

2y↑15

This is my favorite version of the song. The acapella version on the album is decent, but this is way better. Beautiful song.

@SebGeddy

2y↑8

Such a sad and beautiful smart song. You're sorely missed, genius.

@rhythmz_8676

4y↑66

it’s so high quality, it’s like he’s still here. always loved this video and glad it’s a better quality. thank you

@BrianPremo

3y↑6

Selfishly I wish Elliott was still here making music that only he can. What a beautiful soul, what a horrible loss.

@IvanCampoMusic

4y↑63

Such raw emotion in his performances, it must have been exhausting. He's been a huge influence on our music over the years, as I'm sure he has to many artists. Thank you for sharing this piece of music history! RIP Elliott <3

@jamadon2780

2y↑6

He had a lot of great songs, but for my money, none better than this one. There's so much humanity in it. It's painfully beautiful.

@jameswindels-lyte1032

2y↑8

Such a craftsman, seriously talented songwriter for the ages. Elliott was and is a gift to the world

@lochfoot

3y↑5

The arrangement is killer good. So simple and so surprising.

@charleywesting5774

46w↑4

Instant goosebumps - I carry on meeting him in my dreams - we recently had a jam in the dreamscape :) - he’s still very much alive 😊

@bisnieto

2y↑2

i almost forgot to watch this today

@mijadreams3486

3y↑4

my trauma ruins every relationship even begins . im able to lure them in but they never stay when they see my sense of worthlessness

@mijadreams3486

3y↑1

thank you elliot for writing this song and all your songs elliot smith forevee

@nunyab8972

3y↑4

I've been there man. Just try to find happiness in your own life and you'll get through it. If you ever need someone to talk to comment back and I'd be down to talk through things with you.

@mijadreams3486

3y↑1

@@nunyab8972 thank you sm man <3 sending good vibes

@Missjunebugfreak

35w↑7

Became a fan of Elliott's 3 years ago and now i consider him my favorite songwriter of all time. What an immensely gifted artist.

@markbaker5599

2y↑3

Was lucky enough to see him 3 times. Once at sheperds Bush empire. The review said he looked like he didn't wanna be there. He did 3 encores. I think the writer was a limp biscuit fan. Saw him at a festival in Leeds. It was absolutely passing down outside and you could see a big hernia appearing in the tent above. All of a sudden the tent split and dumped hundreds of gallons of water onto the drummers head. The Drummer didn't miss a beat. The band just played on despite the possible risk of electrocution!

@eileenkarampour3044

4y↑7

oh my god Elliott ,Beautiful Elliott!

@bphilippe3352

7w↑1

the most underrated composer of all times !

@lucianojesuscarrizo2061

En Argentina 1 de cada 10 (con suerte) conoce la música de elliot smith.

@cecey4938

3y↑9

this song absolutely breaks me. every time I listen to it I find a new meaning to it. just wow

@tasteinmusic3510

4y↑24

Discovered him last year, listened to his discography, became a fan. He was an amazing musician and I bet he was a nice guy too.
And even though art is triggered by sadness so often, it makes life worth living. Listening to music like this makes life beautiful for a brief moment.
Happy new decade everyone, you're not alone 🍀

@TheWitchesHat

3y↑7

So unbelievably beautiful. Elliot Smith is a genius, and I prefer this piano version to the one on XO

@elliottsmithluvr1237

2y↑2

i listen to this once a day!

@Alice-ow6qc

4y↑8

This....when someone else finds the words that you can't....❤❤

@viniciuseneas4036

3y↑2

Recorded November 29th, 1998. It was my birthday, just turned 9 years old. Not that I needed one more reason to love this song even more... but there you go! Long Live Elliott!

@rodconaway

17w

perfection

@michaelnone6322

2y↑4

I can't believe this has so few views. How are we unique for liking and listening to one of the best performances ever perhaps?

@gabote82

2y↑2

Elliot Smith I love you man

@eitheror2905

1y↑2

Just a great musician.. thank you!

@anthonyfelipe2701

4y↑8

what an incredible performance

@mathpin

4y↑15

I hope they release Miss misery from the same session...the quality is just so good...thank you

edit : they finally uploaded it august 17 2023, thank you so much!

@Brian-xy5lo

3y↑2

Omg I just discovered this song. I have to learn how to play

@warriorskilledcyrus

4y↑10

Haunting. Beautiful. Still gives me chills. Thank you Elliott for laying it all out there.

@suzannekesler

1y↑1

absolutely beautiful

@jonathonkiner7415

3y↑2

Still remember when someone introduced me to Elliott 13 years ago and I didn't think much of it...now I consider him one of the greatest song writers to have ever lived.

@lee8419

2y↑2

You owe that person, big time!

@Jp90063

2y↑5

This song and this performance is one of my favourite things in the world that I regularly come back to. Thank you Elliot and 2 meter sessions.

@izaakmccullough7315

love this ❤

@babysaoul

4y↑1

Ooh, thank you so much for this

@androidesolitario

4y↑3

Thank you so much for this quality!

@silentandcliche

4y↑3

My all time favorite Elliott song... So fucking beautiful.

@HighOnTheSound

❤️

@SiestaFourTen

3y↑3

Every time my soul needs a little healing I put on some Elliott Smith. Such a great mind and musician. I hope he understood how much he was loved by everyone.

@oldpaleridge

4y↑56

Woah. Thank you so much for this upload. If you have it, I and many, many others would be so thankful to see/hear the "Sorry, My Mistake" from these sessions.

@xray5360

4y↑4

oldpaleridge they got it. I saw it on television. Best quality version of the song

@oldpaleridge

4y↑6

@@xray5360 that's insane, i had no clue it ever aired anywhere. Thanks for letting us know. I really wish that can be shared at some point. I think I even emailed Two Meter a few years back about it. Haha.

@mark1800

4y↑3

@@oldpaleridge I second this emotion

@opheliajade1986

3y↑3

Yes....Please let us see that video! PLEASE!!!!!!

@frankieturner8141

Brilliant...

@MysticFix

38w

So beautiful

@c.c.s.1102

2y↑1

I miss him so much.

@jaketrujillo9876

33w

I love how the most replayed part is at 3 seconds...to be replayed

@TomFJM

Amazing Quality, 10/10

@57Adventures

Just wow. So much to love. RIP

@hardfolk

4y↑4

wowwww, I love him so much!!! thank you for this!!! <3 pure gold

@carrybonds7301

YOU A REAL ONE FOR THIS

@reeceburton7864

You the man el

@iwantafuckingname

4y↑7

After so many years I got back to listen this performance, only to find that finally we have a HQ version!

God bless you 2 Meter Sessions <3

@jeradatherton

2y↑1

Wow 😮. So good.

@necripto

4y↑1

Esto es maravilloso.

@davidmiranda7937

4y↑4

This has always been my favorite version of this song

@BillyPage1337

3y↑1

such a great quality

@josealejandromendozacortez2571

4y↑1

Amazing version for this great song!
Miss you Elliott
XO

@Nonexistanthuman

2y↑1

Thank you for uploading, sharing with us

@hashdriveway

so glad to see there's video footage of this!

@isabellaciara8421

2y↑1

ill miss you forever elliott.

@nickking4198

2y↑2

So beautiful peace my man ✌️🤘🤘

@Dani-xl3bm

3y↑1

He still gives me chills.

@danielcropp8553

4y↑1

Wow.

@eitheror2905

51w↑1

Just Amazing, It feels like my soul is healing...

@justindowling281

2y↑1

RIP forever, Elliott. Songs like this still blow me away. Gonna go be in my feelings for awhile now.

@laryssaferreira3876

3y↑1

te amo

@drewworden

4y↑4

Can't believe I stumbled on this only 3 days after its upload. What a surreal time-travel. He slayed it here and it made my day.

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