Runnin'
Gremlin Lyrics

I don't love myself
The singer has a negative self-image and struggles with self-love.

Really hate this skin, yeah
The singer feels disconnected from their physical body and dislikes their appearance.

It's hard to admit but I gotta commit ′fore I break this pen
The singer acknowledges the difficult truth about their situation and knows they need to take action before they become too overwhelmed.

No one even knows of the place I'm in
The artist feels isolated and alone in their struggles and has not shared their true feelings with anyone.

Or how dark all these days have been
The artist's mental state has been very low and they have been struggling with depression or negative thoughts for some time.

I just keep it all deep inside
The singer internalizes their emotions and does not express them outwardly.

I drink and drive, then pray again
The singer turns to alcohol as a coping mechanism but regrets it and seeks solace in prayer.

For some time I been on my own
The artist has been struggling with their issues for a while without support from others.

Writing songs in the dark alone
The artist uses music as an outlet for their emotions and writes in solitude.

About how I'm far from home
The artist feels lost and disconnected from their sense of place or belonging.

Even though I′m home it′s all unknown
Despite being physically present in a familiar place, the singer feels emotionally disconnected and uncertain.

I called on God then he calls my mom
The artist seeks guidance or comfort from a higher power and receives a call from their mother instead.

She calls me like, "Mark, what's wrong?"
The singer's mother senses that something is troubling them and asks what's going on.

Said I′m fine, she said, "Quit lyin'
The singer tries to reassure their mother that they are okay but she sees through their facade and urges them to be honest.

I know you been drinkin′ all night long
The singer's mother suspects that they have been drinking excessively and is concerned for their well-being.

Didn't admit that I been cryin′
The artist is too ashamed or uncomfortable to admit that they have been crying.

I been sippin', I been dyin'
The artist has been drinking as a way to cope but feels like it's only making things worse.

I been tryna find peace
The singer is actively searching for emotional or mental peace.

Tryna find me, I don′t know who I am
The singer is struggling with self-identity and is unsure of their own sense of self.

I don′t know what my purpose is
The artist feels lost and directionless without a clear sense of purpose or meaning in their life.

Or why my brain resurfaced this
The artist is unsure why their negative thoughts and emotions have resurfaced.

I pour my drink, then go to sleep
The artist drinks before going to bed as a way to try to forget their problems or numb their emotions.

'Cause the more I think the worse it gets
The singer finds that dwelling on their problems only makes them feel worse.

I just need to go somewhere far and I′ll be okay
The artist feels like physical distance from their current situation would help alleviate their emotional pain.

I don't need your help, I′ll do this shit but in my own way
The singer wants to handle their problems on their own terms and without interference from others.

Even if I try my very best you know I can't stay
The singer struggles to remain in one place physically or emotionally.

All I do is run and I′ll be runnin' till my last days
The singer feels like they are constantly running away from their problems and will continue to do so for the rest of their life.

I run from love but I run to pain
The artist is scared of opening up to love and vulnerability but finds themselves drawn to pain and self-destructive behavior.

It sucks 'cause I love you but I can′t love you, it′s such a shame
The artist has strong feelings for someone but feels unable to fully express or act on them due to their own emotional issues.

And no, you're not the one to blame
The singer does not hold the person they care for responsible for their own emotional struggles.

You probably think I′m runnin' game
The singer is worried that the person they care for may not believe or understand their true feelings or motives.

This comes from my childhood
The artist believes that their emotional issues stem from events or experiences in their past.

Girl, if I was good then I would stay
The artist wishes they could be emotionally stable and healthy enough to commit to a relationship or stay with someone they care for.

I think it′s fear of abandonment
The artist believes that their constant running and emotional issues are rooted in a deep-seated fear of being left alone.

I don't know how to handle it
The singer is unsure of how to deal with their own emotional struggles and fears of abandonment.

When they come and go
The artist is referring to people entering and exiting their life, potentially triggering their fear of abandonment.

I crumble slow just like I did as a kid
The singer feels like their emotional response to abandonment has not improved since childhood and they are still triggered by these experiences.

It made me toxic and hazardous
The singer recognizes that their emotional issues are negatively impacting their own life and relationships with others, potentially making them a toxic presence in others' lives.

You won′t trust anyone after this
The singer fears that their emotional issues and patterns of behavior may permanently damage their ability to trust others.

I'll say goodbye to make you cry
The artist may intentionally hurt or push away people they care for as a way to protect themselves or out of a fear of getting hurt.

Then afterwards plant a kiss
The artist may try to make amends with the people they hurt or push away, but their tendencies toward self-destructive behavior and emotional instability may make it difficult to make lasting connections.

I pray for all these changes
The singer is actively seeking personal growth and change to improve their own well-being and relationships with others.

All my friends have turned to strangers
The singer feels like they have lost connections with people they used to be close to and no longer have anyone to turn to for support.

My ex girl who I wronged
The artist acknowledges that they have hurt someone they care for and regrets their actions.

Is moving on and I don't blame her
The artist acknowledges that their ex-girlfriend is justified in moving on from their past relationship and does not hold a grudge against her for doing so.

I′ve been, been so selfish
The artist knows that their emotional issues and negative patterns of behavior have been self-centered and potentially harmful to others.

I′ve been broken, I can't help it
The singer acknowledges that their emotional issues are not easy to overcome and can feel overwhelming or uncontrollable at times.

To the ones I′ve hurt, for what it's worth
The artist is apologetic for the pain they may have caused others and wants to express a genuine desire to make amends.

I′m sorry for what you've dealt with
The singer expresses remorse for the emotional pain and hurt they have caused others.

I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)
The singer wants space and autonomy to deal with their own issues on their own terms.