1) Hopeless is a hardcore band from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Since t… Read Full Bio ↴1) Hopeless is a hardcore band from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Since their formation in 2008, Hopeless have wasted little time in establishing themselves as one of Australia’s most forward-thinking hardcore bands.

After landing early support slots with acts as diverse as Have Heart and Four Year Strong, Hopeless has gone on to tour nationally with everyone from Her Nightmare and The Amity Affliction through to We Are The Ocean and Ruiner.

In April 2009 Hopeless released their debut full-length, 'Dear World'. Recorded in their hometown of Melbourne and mixed at Gateway Studios by Jay Maas (Defeater, Verse) in Boston, the eleven-tracks on offer showcased a level of songwriting and musicianship that’s rarely seen in a group this young, with the quintet’s love of bluesy riffing effortlessly combining with their more traditional hardcore influences.

In May 2010, Hopeless again enlisted the services of Drew Parsons at 3 Phase Studios, releasing their first vinyl effort titled 'Human' through Melbourne’s iconic Trial And Error Records. Featuring their most aggressive and dynamic material yet, 'Human' is the sound of a band that refuses to be pigeonholed.

2) Hopeless (2007-2010) was a depressive black metal band from Málaga, Spain formed in 2007. The only member was Luciferian.

More info can be found at http://www.myspace.com/hopelessones666

As of September 3, 2010, Hopeless is no more.

3) Hopeless is a futurepop project of Vigilante's singer Iván Muñoz.
It is a mix of differents textures and sounds, combining differents influences taken from electronic music, along with voices which mix in the right amount melody and aggressiveness.
Hopeless is born as an answer to the times we live, times where our dreams, hopes and ideals are replaced by selfishness, apathy and conformism.
Using messages that invite to reflection and sounds charged with emotions, Hopeless tries to illuminate this hidden corner in our souls where hope lies.

Hopeless is:
Iván Muñoz: (Vocals and Sequences)

Hopeless Live are:
Iván Muñoz: (Vocals / Sequences)
Lucia Ponticas: (Vocals / Keyboards)

4) Hopeless is a Hip-Hop/Electronica artist from Miami.
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/iamhopelessmusic

5) HOPELESS, a Thai Metalcore band from Bangkok, Thailand
Current members are
Vocal : Yutthana Sutthiprapha (Noom)
Guitars : Anusorn Intrasai (Ta)
Bass : Baramee Chawalitcheewin (Park)
Drum : Piyawat Maichareon (Gunk)

FEEL
Hopeless Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Hopeless Way To Feel
I can’t play guitar, though I’ve tried to raise the bar,
I’m sinking, drowning, slipping further away,
But I’m sticking to it no matter what they say,
Not a wholesome way to be,
Not the plan I had for me,
I’ve got to figure these things out,
Help me find my way through the night,

Get in tune…
So let’s think it over,
Guess that’s enough to say good bye,
Let’s think things over,
At least I try…
Sometimes we have our moments,
Sometimes we need to play our part,
And - I really mean those moments,
Cause they help maintain and mend our broken hearts,
What a hopeless way to feel,
I have to hurt myself to deal,
I’ll let go, you take the wheel,
Steer me clear of all the frightening things my lonesome brings,
Get in tune…
So let’s think it over,
Guess that’s enough to say good bye,
Let’s think things over,
At least I try…
Sometimes we all fall apart,
And this time it’s me,
But I know that someday baby,
You’ll start to see…
So let’s think it over,
Guess that’s enough to say good bye,

Let’s think things over,
At least I tried…

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Hopeless's song "Feel" describe the struggles and challenges faced by the singer. The song starts with the admission that they cannot play the guitar, despite trying to "raise the bar". They feel themselves sinking, drowning, and slipping further away, but they are determined to stick to it and find their way through the night.

The singer acknowledges that this is not a wholesome way to live, and it's not the plan they had for themselves. They need to figure things out and find a way to get in tune. The chorus emphasizes the importance of thinking things over and trying, even if it may feel hopeless at times.

The latter half of the song describes how everyone falls apart at times, and this time it's the singer who is struggling. They need to hurt themselves to deal and feel hopeless, but they are willing to let go and let someone else (perhaps the listener) take the wheel and steer them clear of the frightening things their lonesome brings. The song ends with the repeated call to think things over and at least try.

Line by Line Meaning

I can’t play guitar, though I’ve tried to raise the bar,
I have attempted to improve myself by learning guitar, but I have failed.

I’m sinking, drowning, slipping further away,
I am struggling and losing myself with each passing moment.

But I’m sticking to it no matter what they say,
However, I am determined to keep trying despite what others may tell me.

Not a wholesome way to be,
My current state is not healthy or good for me.

Not the plan I had for me,
This is not what I had envisioned for my life.

I’ve got to figure these things out,
I need to find a way to resolve my issues.

Help me find my way through the night,
I want someone to guide me and give me support during difficult times.

Get in tune…
I need to align myself and my life goals.

So let’s think it over,
Let's reflect and analyze the situation at hand.

Guess that’s enough to say good bye,
Perhaps it's time to move on from this situation.

Let’s think things over,
Let's contemplate our next steps and actions.

At least I try…
Even though I may fail, I am making an effort.

Sometimes we have our moments,
Occasionally, we experience certain events or emotions.

Sometimes we need to play our part,
We have responsibilities and obligations that we must fulfill.

And - I really mean those moments,
These moments are significant and meaningful to me.

Cause they help maintain and mend our broken hearts,
These moments can help us heal and recover from emotional pain and heartbreak.

What a hopeless way to feel,
It's a terrible feeling to be hopeless and lost.

I have to hurt myself to deal,
I am resorting to self-destructive behavior to cope with my problems.

I’ll let go, you take the wheel,
I am relinquishing control and asking for someone else to guide me.

Steer me clear of all the frightening things my lonesome brings,
Please help me avoid the scary and negative consequences of my loneliness.

Sometimes we all fall apart,
At times, everyone experiences breakdowns or struggles in their lives.

And this time it’s me,
Currently, I am the one who is dealing with difficulties.

But I know that someday baby,
I trust that eventually, things will get better.

You’ll start to see…
You will begin to understand and empathize with me.

Contributed by Natalie I. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

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Comments from YouTube:

@catdragon2584

2y↑194

“Exercise for sanity, not for vanity.” Love this!

@divyadharshani0512

41w↑1

Hi. I landed on this episode a but late. But, I too was looking for such a phrase that could speak volumes.
Being in a social that idolises or relate exercise to weight loss/muscle building/meeting the beauty standards, it's really hard to explain that a physical exercise is required to maintain one's physical or mental well-being.

@eringraber3777

39w

This is what I do and it works so well and has the extra added bonus of making you look better. Win win.

@amandadeloff4278

2y↑282

In my experience, meds "open the door" and therapy "helps you walk through it." And long-term persistent depression can be a result of undiagnosed and untreated adhd. Love the videos, Jono! Keep it up!

@MilnaAlen

2y↑20

Yeah I have ADHD and I have depression that comes and goes. But it barely lasts 3 weeks at worst, and I have a history of bad reactions to meds (Xanax made me hallucinate waking up from a surgery).

I have found that achieving things, getting sunlight, dancing, novelty, social interaction and hobbies help. Even if doing those things takes a lot of effort.

@MilnaAlen

2y↑13

I have also learned to treat being depressed like having a flu, and how important that is. If I put on guilt, shame and lot of pressure on me to get everything done I'm supposed to do - usually it just makes it worse.

@ange76prkr

2y↑10

>_< Amanda you have just described my grudge on the NHS - long-term persistent depression can be a result of undiagnosed and untreated ADHD!
The issue is that a lot of GP's stop at the "medication solves everything" without the next steps to walk through.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021 privately when I was 28! I have spent all that time before then being put on different antidepressants that did more harm than good.
The issue is emotional regulation, rejection dysphoria, trauma related anxiety/triggers, but "We can't diagnose adults"/"girls can't have ADHD" seems to be the mindset of so many GPs. Research shows there is a link between ADHD and estrogen levels in women and eating healthier can help with managing symptoms.

@OctEddie

51w↑2

That was such an interesting thing I had learned. ADHD can be the root of some depression and anxiety for, simply put, your brain stays overly active for so long that it creates anxiety and depression.

@foxc8646

43w

@@ange76prkrhi there I am about to find a therapist because of similar stuff. Please can you tell me how I can get across how I am feeling.. should I tell my therapist I think I have something or do you just let them control the interaction. I’m very nervous but hopeful I can work out what’s going on with me recently

2 More Replies...

@Lessareve

2y↑82

Something that helped was the "Spoon theory" (the idea that you have a limited amount of energy to spend per day, hence taking a shower took already two spoons so i will not have energy to do the dishes for exemple, but at least i'll cook).

It forced me to evaluate my capacity for the day, plan the day based on it, and not push myself into exhausting patterns (on the contrary, helping to give myself some slack when i was not feeling okay).

It was also wonderful to feel more and more spoons being available as I was getting better.

@tinad8561

2y↑8

Yes, in spades. Spoons theory keeps you from comparing yourself to other people—you know, “somebody normal would be able would be able to get through my day no problem” becomes “today I only have 3 spoons. If I’m careful, tomorrow maybe I’ll have more.”

@SabiLewSounds

2y↑5

Yesssss me too

@beccas588

2y↑3

Love the spoon theory!!!

@jaginaiaelectrizs6341

@@tinad8561 That's not necessarily going to stop you from comparing yourself, you might just say "today I only have 3 spoons but other normal people would have 10" or something like that. Whether you're using spoon theory or not, it's important to remember that everybody is a separate individual, and it's okay that we all have our own ways in which we may or may-not differ pretty much regardless of whatever may be the same or similar between us too. 🙂😊🤍

@MrAdriancooke

21w↑1

I don't know if you are all female but I think people are a lot more understanding and forgiving of women (rather than men) who are clearly struggling

@kaloumlanier3700

2y↑47

In my life, I have struggled with depression since early childhood and have been to many therapists and on many different medications. I used to hate when people would say, “You just need to exercise! Eat better! Talk to friends! Spend time outdoors!” It wasn’t until my mid twenties that I realized the reason why people (especially therapists) say these things is because it is true. Yes, I still need medication, BUT my depression is so much more manageable now that I am on a schedule that prioritizes a full night’s sleep, regular exercise, and balanced meals. The most helpful tool was spending time connecting with nature. Whereas my depression was once debilitating, I can now sit with depression comfortably and feel hope for my life ahead.

@nuuraalinoor3630

23w

Good keep it

@sarabartel4285

2y↑30

I've been severely depressed off and on since I was young, but I'm in a good place now. You might feel angry when someone suggests a way to get better, so this is just a friend's experience: find a good hobby, go on a walk, be kind to others. And, I didn't realize I had pernicious anemia (inability to process B12), so make sure to get your vitamin levels checked before considering antidepressants. That was actually the biggest part of my recovery.

@adrijamukherjee8147

2y↑93

From personal experience, all the points mentioned here, I've heard from a bunch of therapists before too and as appreciative I am of you making this video to try and help, all of these, every single one feels like a chore. And because it seems so difficult to do, I end up not consistently doing and thus feeling even more of a failure

@2ndpartycrasher954

2y↑11

Which is why you start small. Start with a shower, can't feel like a failure if you accomplished something that was already hard. Don't think about the long tiring process just focus on the small steps. It's also not shameful for you to feel like you should be doing more. Depression is tough and advancing even a little you should be proud of. It's okay to feel a failure but you should probably reflect on why that is. Journal your experiences, find a pattern. Good luck!

@ginamiller6015

2y↑13

Some of us have done these things, followed the advice from experts, and this doesn’t help. The problems are still there. I spent a small fortune on therapy, got nothing from it except feeling like I got ripped off. Oh right, eat healthy, get exercise, help others, find a purpose… no f-ing shit! Been there doing that

@mvmendez27

2y↑10

I know sometimes it feels like you just want the world to stop, like you can keep up, it’s just too much. I have dealt with this for years now.. at the beginning, when I could not even stand up, I counted wake up in the morning or brushing my teeth as something I did that day and as an accomplishment.. with time, these little things added up and got to a point where I was strong enough to take that shower or even cook for myself or go out of my apartment. I know things like this do not solve your problems or magically cure you, but in my specific case it helped to try to live one day at a time. Don’t think of them as chores, they are not. Think of it a little steps to slowly get better. And if one day you don’t do some of this little things, it’s ok. We are living one day at a time and tomorrow there will be a new chance. This things take time. I hope you feel better soon!

@jaginaiaelectrizs6341

So find something else to do, instead of taking a shower, maybe listen to a song or maybe even just sit up in bed for a little bit and/or look out a window for a little while instead of just staying down with your head on your pillow forever. Or, so on. He wasn't making mandatory rules to follow, he was just giving singular examples out of near-infinite possibilities, leaving it fully open for each individual to find their own thing to utilize for each step instead. 🙂

(Also, don't beat yourself up about it if you don't do it consistently, doing something irregularly or every other day or only every two or three days or so is still a step in the right direction. It's still doing something more than never even trying to do it at all. It's okay to fail, sometimes—it's less okay to never even attempt anything at all, unless it wasn't something you ever really wanted to begin with.😊🤍)

@hahahaooof1354

1y↑12

I hope this does not come off as harsh or nagative because that is not my intention.

I have been there where I found these "chores" to be incredibly overwhelming. I'd get frustrated because I understood that in order to get from point A to B ("B" generally meaning that first step towards happiness, in my case just to not feel like sh** for even a few minutes) I'd have to do these "chores". Like you, I'd try but fail. I'd quickly give up because it was too hard for me then feel worse for failing and giving up. Again, I got frustrated, and the reason (for me) that'd I'd get frustrated or even angry was because I didn't understand the "how": HOW do I bring myself to do these "chores"? HOW do I not feel overwhelmed by this simple task? And, again, from my personal experience but like others as well, I found it really came down to sheer will and want to do the "chores", the will to bring yourself to do it, the want to get better. I got to a point where I was tired of constantly bringing myself down. And suddenly (because depression be like that sometimes, a rollar coaster of negative emotional turns) it got really bad, so much so that it scared me. Then something clicked. Now I really wanted to get better out of fear and also from being emotionally and physically tired. And from really wanting to get better, I felt deeply motivated, I really wanted to do these "chores".

I also found it powerful because although time and time again the people who have been constantly telling me, "doing xyz can help" (xyz being the examples he's given, the "chores") I couldn't bring myself to do them because it didnt come from me, it didnt feel like my decision. The moment I said "I WANT to do this" it didnt feel much like a chore anymore, it wasnt so difficult, it made sense, it was just gratifying and powerful the change of mindset. Before it felt like a "chore" to me because in my head it was registering as "THEY are saying do this to get better" not "I am telling ME to do this to get better". What is a chore? Generally yes, its something that needs to be done be it for the betterment of your surroundings, your home, the people around, and sure even you. But in the case of it being for you, it'd typically be for your future self. Yes, you wont imediately feel better when addressing your mental health so argueably youd still be in a way taking care of your future self. But the difference then would be that this decision that you're going to make is to address your mental state now. You're not making it solely with the mentality that its for the benefit of your future mental health. When you're making it, you're focusing on the fact that you are making a decision to do something, the decision is coming from you, that you want to do it, and do it to your present self.

(I see that you have posted this comment a year ago, I hope you are doing better and if not, not sure if this reply will help but I hope it makes sense and it might help in a way to you or to anyone. Again, if at some point I sounded rude or harsh in any way, I apologize it was not my intention. Thank you to anyone for taking the time to read. Good luck to you and your mental health journey. I'm sure you've heard this many times before but you are loved, it gets bearable and even better, you are not alone so I hope you are not feeling shameful, a humble reminder that you are human after all, and if you are struggling specifically with self love i hope you come to find that your flaws are just as beautiful as your quirks and your strengths.)

@savannaharmstrong5185

2y↑87

CBT was the thing that did it for me, though it’s still an ongoing struggle. Realizing I’d been raised with unrealistic expectations for myself sent me down a spiral of worthlessness when I couldn’t keep up with it anymore. All the advice you listed here just felt like “more stuff to do.” I’d try, couldn’t keep up with it, and feel even more failure and worthlessness. Realizing - and truly understanding - that I was doing enough and being enough, and that I didn’t have to do or be any more, finally brought me the first traces of happiness.
I know I’m nearing a point in recovery where I need to start taking better care of my body, but before I could do that, what I really needed to do was just stop trying, and let my soul get some rest.

@SabiLewSounds

2y↑9

I feel this 100%

@nothingnowhere2358

2y↑5

Thank you for that last line especially, I think I just need to give my soul a bit of rest

@Mouldybraaain

1y↑1

This resonates with me so much. Thank you for sharing this, it feels good to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

@foxc8646

43w↑4

Thank you so much this message helped loads. I really resonate with the part about learning I am enough already. I feel less weighed down after reading that because I did not used to be so depressed and I put so much pressure on myself to be happy and live a certain life

@sarawhite5448

2y↑8

I like Mr. Roger’s mom’s advice, “look for the helpers.” If you’re feeling hopeless, look for others helping others. It will remind you there is goodness in the world.

@elaineb7065

2y↑11

I've mentioned my plushie before, & will do so here. For those who live alone & can't afford or keep a pet, a plushie is the next best thing. Something there to snuggle when youve had a bad day, or just feel too overwhelmed by everything. My plushie, for those who know, is a soft toy shark from Ikea, about a metre long, & just the right shape, size, & texture for snuggling xxx

@phoenixfire8978

2y↑3

I still have some of my favourite stuffed animals from childhood. And since my kitty died I’ve started sleeping with them again. Because I can’t sleep without the weight on my leg from when my kitty slept at the foot of my bed. So keep on cuddling with your IKEA shark unashamedly. Because a quirky solution is a great answer to the pain of Depression or loneliness.

@joshuawagner2590

2y↑3

There's real evidence that having a plushie or "lovey", as I believe they're called, really does help. Keep on doing that. :-)

@tayachernyavska7206

2y↑108

Dear @Mended Light, please make a video for war survivors. Here in Ukraine we are under bombing and shooting, we hide in the undeground stations and do not sleep. An advice on how to stay strong mentally in such tough situation would be very helpful. Thank you.

@alicefromwonderland7300

2y↑15

Many people and nations are with you! We all just want to live in peace and we will help you wholeheartedly to live in peace in a free country. I don't know what else to say, but I want you to know that you are not alone

@MendedLight

2y↑34

That is a great idea. We'll get on that :)

@lisacallan5462

2y↑12

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can't begin to imagine

@sunshineandrain869

2y↑12

I’m so amazed and inspired by your courage and strength as a country. We’re praying for Ukraine.

@elaineb7065

2y↑1

Big fat sharky snuggles to all of you out there under this horror xxx

1 More Replies...

@theladyamalthea

2y↑5

Raising my hand as one of the people who gets NO endorphins from exercise. I have a friend like this as well. I am also literally allergic to exercise, and will itch like crazy as my muscles warm up and as they tire. So that advice doesn’t work for everyone!

@VanillaBean15

2y↑8

the get up and get dressed tip REALLY IS a game changer :) just be gentle on yourself, listen to your body and taking steps towards it. Start tweaking your sleeping schedule little by little until you find something that works. The days I stay on my pj's are usually the worst

@drafter3412

2y↑14

Seriously tired of my husband telling me to "just snap out of it".

@Estertje93

2y↑1

Wow I hope you can help him understand.

@37483993

2y↑14

Please talk about adults with Aspergers…what can we do since we think differently than 90%+ of the population.

@marysenum5621

2y↑23

I love how much you reference Victor Frankels book. I read that with my mom last summer and there were so many sections I had to reread because the depth was just awe inspiring. The level of positive realism in such a dark place. Still hard to put to words.

@DanielHernandez-sg9sg

2y↑1

Did your mother also get a positive experience reading that book?

What would you say is your biggest take away from the text?

I want to read it because I read what could be considered to be its opposite , Blessed is the Flame, and I don’t know how to process it.

@marysenum5621

2y↑1

@@DanielHernandez-sg9sg I don't think I've heard of Blessed is the Flame, would you recommend it?
I loved it, I think the first half was the more shocking for me when he'd go into the conditions but he had such a logical, removed yet empathetic take on holding onto hope for his fellow man while also being realistic of mankind's evils.
Growing up in a toxic household my mom taught us to always 'look on the bright side' which was great but led to blindness to things we should've been more careful of so reading his breakdown of the mind and our outlook was a shell shock in a way.

Overall, highly recommend!

@DanielHernandez-sg9sg

Normally I wouldn’t recommend reading Blessed is the Flame but since you already read Victor Frankel’s book I assume that you are ok or at least better equipped than most to read about concentration camps. The topic of the book is to introduce to the reader both concentration camp Insurrection when there was no hope of success and to use that as a means of explains what Anarch Nihilism is. The author claims to be a grandchild of the holocaust, I only say claim because the work is written under a pseudonym so it is not possible to know if they are telling the truth. They said that they are just happy to celebrate the victims of the concentration camps that either didn’t revolt or who did but had no chance of escaping/surviving.
You can find a free downloadable copy by searching the book online and clicking on the anarchist library.

My opinion on how to treat other people in terms the harm they cause is summarized as “we should treat those around us as salvageable until the point comes when through their actions they prove that they aren’t,”

Did reading Frankel’s book cause you and your mother to reevaluate your upbringing ?

@yvonneweiohara399

2y↑20

What helped me recently was going through the book Feeling Good by Dr David Burns! Identifying some cognitive distortions (all-or-nothing thinking, 'fortune telling'/mind reading, should-ing, negating the positive, etc) was key to understanding why I feel depressed, and keeping track of them in a notebook and being able to 'talk back to myself' with reason and grace helped a lot as well.

@jennyatelier_augenstern1180

Yes, that was one of the best recommondations I ever got! I also love his way of writing, he describes so many relatable thoughts and how to deal with them. It's truly amazing!

@caylarushton5996

Yes! I came to the comments to make the same comment! It takes time, emotional effort, and self recognition but combating my cognitive distortions if the biggest thing I do for my depression. I do this by journaling and my copy of Feeling Good is so marked up with notes!

@siristhesalamander4186

2y↑11

As an individual with chronic depression, I can say that this is all very valuable advice. Sometimes I would find it annoying or shaming, but these ideas are truly good and come from a good place. It's hard! People wouldn't have depressive issues if the solution was easy, but it is incredibly enabling and powerful when you accomplish meaningful things through those episodes, even if it is as small as getting out of bed.

@joshuawagner2590

2y↑5

I have struggled with depression since I was in elementary school. I have always avoided taking anti-depressants and, at least for right now, I will continue to do so. When I am going through a wave of depression, I have found that it is VERY difficult to exercise or eat right. But I will say, when I push myself to eat right and to take a walk outside (I love walks), it really does help. Being in creation and appreciating it, whether rain, snow, or shine, does wonders for me. It doesn't take the depression away, but it makes it more manageable.

And yet, for me, the most important piece of advice that you gave, that I can relate to from personal experience, is to feed my mind and to partake of creative endeavors. I am a creative type, and I have found that during my waves of depression I have some of the most explosive and wondrous creativity. Watching stuff can be fun, but it really ends up making things worse for me if I do it too much. My mind HAS to be active, either engaging with intellectual or creative material or making it. I think it's tied, as well, to the finding purpose suggestion. And pursuing those things helps tremendously. The activities don't make the depression go away, but, as I said, it becomes more manageable.

It's also very hard for me to participate in social functions during these waves. I absolutely do NOT want to be around people unless it's my immediate family. It's just too exhausting. And you know what--sometimes I think that's okay. I am an Introvert, after all. That's probably the HARDEST thing for me to do when I'm in a depression. Let me take a walk with my wife and eat a nice, healthy meal, and do some serious writing or other creative endeavor. But don't make me go to a party.

@marissa4084

47w↑3

"You can not wait until you feel better to do things. You have to do things so that you can feel better."
I think I finally had my first genuine realization. I've ALWAYS waited to feel somewhat better, but never thought about turning it around. I am definitely going to try that

@leilapahlevan5736

2y↑5

Hello Jonathan.
I'm here from Cinema Therapy.
Thank you for your informative videos.
Helped me a lot.

@YBlvr

2y↑13

“Behaviour precedes emotion” is an incredibly powerful reminder. I’ve wondered why I tend to dread doing so many things and end up avoiding them when they don’t turn out to be so bad when I’m done with them. This simple sentence hit the nail on the head. Thank you.

@peppermintmoon7354

2y↑4

I would add journaling to the list. It helps me so much. Sometimes I get so emotional that I can't even be calm enough to talk about something. Journaling about it first helps lessen the emotional impact so eventually I can talk about without becoming snotty, red, swollen-eyed mess. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Plus, you can always give the journal to your mental health professional, so they can give you suggestions without the trauma of speaking it out loud.

@michaelkrulock3069

2y↑2

A deployment fixed me the first time, 4 months of no alcohol, regular meals, 12-14 hours shifts every day, with sometimes nothing to do but go for a run or workout or both. Electronics were sparse and had to be shared with the 20 other people on shift with you, as well as the close quarters with others, you really get to know people, I think it is therapeutic to simply talk with others regardless of what is being said. That was 4 years ago and after a couple good years I've since gone back down the depression road, I am going to try the shower thing that sounds like a good first step, I know I've already gotten out of this hole once so I can do it again.

@nadiaparveen7710

17w

Prayer, spending time in nature, reading a book, being near the water 💦 and watching videos like these help me .. Thankyou 🌸🌸

@Hangland29

2y↑2

I'm a licensed therapist myself and I've only found your channel for a few months now but I must admit, you've helped me to be a better counselor! Thank you so much for sharing.

@annamaegold

2y↑1

You have value, you have worth, it is limitless. It is eternal. My mantra from now on.

@abb314

2y↑4

I have depression. While I'm surviving decently, I'm also a father to a baby. I'd love for you to do a video about how to balance modeling emotional honesty and vulnerability vs teaching my baby to have the self worth and resilience that I never had.

@eddussashradhey

2y↑3

Listening to music whilst suffering from insomnia helped me a lot. Thanks for making this video... Love all the content that u make. They have helped me a lot in my journey with depression and also in educating my loved ones abt what it is and how even they need to take care of themselves apart from taking care of me.

@debkunkel5840

2y↑6

I would ask you to reconsider medications as last as your default when treating your clients. I really feel you are talking about two different things. Clinical depression can be such that you can't DO all the steps you recommend. It's the purpose of assessments- some people need the medication to bring them up to a level where they have the choice whether or not to do things. There are times when I can do what you suggest to head off a "deep dive". But, As someone who has chronic depression, I can tell you 1) that walking at times can be punishing, 2) my sleep pattern gets way off and nothing I "urge" myself to do will get me on a regular schedule, 3) Just as the link between body and mind is strong so that poor eating can affect your mood, so can the mind affect our ability to eat healthy. 4) Lack of purpose isn't the same as being depressed- I have plenty of "purpose" that I could do, but to do so it becomes so overwhelming it takes me further down, 5) there are times when depression that needs medication or other sorts of medical treatment has nothing to do with situation you are in. One can be living through the Holocaust or be a World Famous singer who just won 4 Grammys and have depression that may need medication. The ideal situation for me has been when my clinicians work together so that one is not seeing the other as the alternative to the other if things don't work, or as being separate, but rather working together to determine with me what I need at that moment. Think of it as a broken leg. if I crack my tibia but there is no misalignment, odds are that starting some limited walking on it within a week with crutches and other support will help strengthen it and recover. However if I it's my femur, walking on it will break it further, and potentially cause further life changing or life ending injury. Love you Jonathan, but I feel here, you may have a little more knowledge gathering to do. Finding a good Psychiatrist to partner with who can evaluate with you at the beginning whether to try medication now, both of you look for signs that your client needs to be sooner than later by the other one, and work together for what your clients will benefit from that allows them to live life abundantly as intended might be something for you to consider. (Not a psychiatrist you feel comfortable referring to if "all these' don't work")

@NiRoz41

2y↑6

Antidepressants were never about making me happy, but giving me a fair chance to CHOOSE what kind of day I had. Before them I could check off everything on my list and have a perfect day but still cry myself to sleep. It takes trial and error sometimes but without them I wouldn't have been able to feel stable enough to even begin doing inner work.

@maywenearedhel

2y↑1

Yes, but I think Johnathan is talking more about mild depression rather than major depressive disorder, to which meds are going to be the first line of defense.

@AbbieGPipes

27w↑1

I love this! When I started antidepressants, I was in a season of life where it was almost impossible for me to get good sleep, nutrition, and exercise (I was a new mom in my last semester of college). Now that I’m past that season, I’m replacing my antidepressants with everything you mentioned and I feel like it’s working. There are still hard days, but they are more manageable now.

@Jed_Elias

32w↑1

I’ve been suffering from depression for several years now, only increased by my parents divorce and the pandemic. While these are all habits I’ve learned growing up, it’s really true what they say about needing good therapy and counseling. I didn’t start going to therapy until 2022 because I didn’t think I needed it when I could’ve just “pulled myself by my bootstraps” or “something was wrong with me” if I had to ask for help. Without cinema therapy unraveling the falsehoods behind mental health issues, allowing me to see that I wasn’t weak or not strong enough to deal with things on my own, I would have never gone and been on the current road to recovery that I am now. You and your team are truly doing the Lord’s work, thank you 😊

@laurinlatour4246

2y↑7

All of this is wonderful. However, I find personally and with much of my family, that often medication is needed initially for someone to find the will to make some of these changes. Though I do believe and know that once lifestyle changes are in place, medication can be weaned off of in many cases, and many people lean on meds without doing anything else. Unfortunately for those without private insurance and certain means, often your only option is medication with limited other options through government programs.

@anthonym2346

11w

Hey chase i wanted to reach out and thank you for your work and making this prossess of healing from depression ALMOST bearable lol and really love the splashes of humor to lighten the mood. I just purchased Mans search book and plan on starting it this evening. Keep up the great work bud!

@jaginaiaelectrizs6341

1y↑2

Sometimes, the thing you need to do to feel better is something else first, then come back to the thing you didn't want to do before a little later on. 🙂

@atinyevil1383

2y↑3

I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 18.they’re pretty great, they help with my serotonin. I also make myself do things because my depression correlates a lot with me overthinking everything. Therapy helps, too since I have someone to talk to for my extra bad thoughts. My depression will never go away, but I can manage it.

@elsagournay6660

2y↑2

I needed this so much. Specially today. Thank so much. 😞

@misselizabethbennetp2185

39w

Jonathan you have been a major help today… I went through a break up of sorts a few months ago and have been struggling with my mental health since then. On top of that I’ve had a lot of changes in my life recently, so getting through stuff by suppressing my feelings has taken its toll…. Today I was feeling really rough and trying to find some relief somewhere, and the things discussed in this video and others of yours were really soothing and helpful. I don’t have access to an in person therapist right now, but that was a pretty good temporary substitute. Thank you for what you do

@Hopespringseternal

2y↑3

Thank you. I really needed this today 🙏🏼

@casebycase_904

28w

I live in East Asia where mental health is a taboo & gosh, finding cinema therapy was really helpful.
Oneday, I became okay, but it was a gradual progress & for that, thank you.
Sir, i love watching your contents & the sincerity you show when interacting with your friends, wife and even your pupper all contributed to my healing journey! Also, all the movies yall covered were fun to watch 💯

@The_Serpent_of_Eden

2y↑1

You know what? God bless you, Jonathan Decker. You are an actually good human being, and that's a rarity. This video is filled with more kindness and compassion than I've received from ANY psychiatrist, therapist, clinician, or psych ward attendant. You sound so genuine and so kind. I greatly admire you (and Alan) for all that you do out here in YouTube land.

If we met, I imagine we'd have extremely different spiritual and religious views, since I practice witchcraft and you are, I believe, a Mormon. BUT. I tell you this: I have met God, and you embody God far more than any Christian I have ever met. You (and Alan) are both doing wonderful work on the Internet. Bless you both for your love and kindness to others. We need more of that in this world, and I am so touched and inspired to see you do work towards good, when so many Christians choose to work for evil.

@hollikrebs

I understand. Only God is good, people fall short.

@candykortsmit2452

2y↑2

I've tried and I'm doing al lot of things, like healty sleep habbits, I've had a few consults with a dietician to see what I could change in my diet, cause I gained a lot of weight from my former antidepressions (now I have Brintellix 15 mg). I also lacked the energy to exercise due to lung problems, after a year of searching I now know that I have asthma and now we are searching for the right medicines, so I can exercise more then I'm able to do now. My purpose in life are my children. I feed my mind by reading books, taking courses and watching YouTube, like cinema therapy and mended light. I also try to do the things that I enjoyed back in the days, but I still feel more and more depressed as the weeks fly by. I'm in therapy (Schema Therapy).

@thestorybehindthat5236

26w

Thanks for this. I needed the reminder to go back to basics.

@jackiedixon5076

34w

Love your channel. Thanks for being here.

@greenkitty82

40w

Thanks for this. I'm struggling alot with coping with chronic illness and the tips in the video are really helpful. Sleep is definitely a massive factor as I've noticed when I don't sleep well, I really struggle emotionally the next day. Getting out in the sunshine and nature helps too, breathing in that fresh forest air. I identify with having do to things first before you feel better and I do this with exercise and cold showers. I don't feel like doing them in a sad state but I just visualise the good feeling afterwards. I just say to myself just do it anyway as I'd rather do it and it make me feel better as the worst that can happen is it won't change anything. Thank you again and big love to anyone struggling out there ❤❤

@tinaperez7393

2y↑1

Jono's point near the end - reminds me of the saying (and truism) "You can't think your way out of a bad mood. You can only act your way out of it."

@evelynlovebridge6726

I want to thank you so much for all your videos. I don't actually watch all of them, but they do help me to understand others and myself. They give me perspective on how other people feel. You're so compelling, you say simple things and it amazes me how it never came to my mind before I hear it. Thanks!

@Sparkyz_spark

33w

Thank-you for this Jonathan, you’re still changing lives with this video ❤

@Matthew-gl6ni

2y↑2

My Depression has caused my executive dysfunction to spiral out of control. I'm in therapy now an my therapist and me can't work through it. No matter what I do, even if I manage to push through the physical block my brain sets to do certain tasks, it doesn't get any easier And I'm at a point why I'm losing hope because I see my medical professional run out of ideas. She says it's depression, but I've never been this helpless or powerless and it sucks.

@RageLost

36w

Ngl is i almost cried when you said I had value and worth

@izzaabbas7826

13w

I needed this so much. You are amazing

@julieringering3095

2y↑1

I’ve basically gone through all those steps,but they ended up being VERY detailed. But I have to go to my mirror when I’m depressed,not a real mirror cuz I can’t really look in those yet,but I go to my horse,and she shows me exactly how I’m feeling,and then some how she ether helps me through it or she literally makes me buck up and get over. And yes just in case you’re wondering,I’ve learned to go animals with my problems and not people,cuz I’m sorry but people have done nothing but hurt,so dogs and horses are the answer in book.

@milletmongoose

2y↑5

I absolutely credit my well being to meds. And I am saying this as I currently taper off them (under the supervision of a PsyD of course).

I also agree that meds are a last resort. If you feel resistant to all of the other alternatives, meds are probably for you. See a doctor!

@user-vg2bp6zz8b

18w

Did anti-depressants for almost 30 years - after my life fell to pieces ( 3 years ago - loss of son, loss of family, loss of who I once was - Narcissist ex took everything ) I came off them , because I knew they weren't doing anything any more. Nothing will fix these problems , nothing will ever be the same. When I can't sleep I go out at and look at the stars - I feel even more insignificant and lonely - hard to believe it all went so wrong. Once was told depression is anger turned inward - now my depression coping mechanism is learning stoicism and putting up barriers so i don't feel hurt again. Life has become a game of finding distractions and ignoring triggers.

@wisdomtarot2379

2y↑1

I got stuck in 2020 with my ex in jail, miles from family, living in a town of 200 people, unable to travel very far because of lockdowns and border closures. Anti-depressants helped me kick start my life again so I could start exercising, feel up to cooking proper meals, be in a better mood to learn new things and go out and find things to do. Once I got started I was fine, but Anti-depressants helped give me that kick-start I needed.

@SailorVickymoon

2y↑2

What To Do When You Feel Hopeless and Depressed? .. Exactly the question i've been asking myself since last year.... Thanks doc, this helps a lot. I also love your movie reaction videos !

@reenztia

44w

I had a crushing pain but breathed through it while listening to you in the background. Thank you very much, when you get too deep sometimes you just need someone who is kind to quieten the noise.

P.s loOOoOoVe your jokes and humour

@lailasabaazila97

Lovely Mended Light video (again).

I struggle with Depression since my early teens now, and started my first therapy 8 years ago. It helped tremendously! And recommended all the things you talked about as well. Additionally my therapist reccomended going out for a walk in nature. Seeing green plants and flowers (and getting that sweet Vitamin D). And doing something with my hands, since my job requires a lot of mental acrobatics and most of my hobbies are more on the thought side of things as well.

At the moment I am crocheting to my hearts content. That helps me a lot to do something different than sitting in front of the computer all the time, writing a lot.

I listened to a lot of your videos now and I am not entirely sure if you already talked about it. I would love to hear your thoughts about Nature vs. Nurture of Depression when said Depression (or rather mental illness as a whole) runs in the family.
Keep up the good work!

@rebeccamurphy4695

And I want to watch your TED talk, Jono! Love the work you do! Thank you!

@sandrapritchard1408

This is a really good video. I’ve been begging GP’s for help for 20 years now and mostly they just throw meds at me and send me on my merry way and they never do much for me. Occasionally I will be put on wait lists for mental health services that never get back to me and the whole process is so dehumanizing and discouraging. I do really struggle with healthy eating as I’m autistic and have extreme sensory issues when it comes to food (I survive off carbs and sugar basically which is not great even though I take vitamins) so I will try and work on that a bit. Wish I could afford actual real therapy but your mended and light and cinema therapy have both helped me a lot this last little while so thank you so much ♥️

@laurel-annwolshlager6621

Hey just wanted to say, this was really helpful.. Not necessarily the list (I'd already known everything on it before hearing it) but because of the person giving the advice. I could literally not look away. He seemed very kind and like someone who cares... and the setting almost felt like the therapist was talking to you in person. So thank you for this video! Have saved this to my "watch later" list for next time I need a reminder

@Caelia_925

2y↑1

Thank you for your videos, sometimes I feel lost and like I'm a problem so this helps me. Your work is so important, thank you for making these videos on this channel and in cinema therapy.

@MendedLight

2y↑1

You're so welcome!

@Caelia_925

Just answering you made my day ♥

@clarettaskelly709

Victor Frankle's book is wonderful.

@biblicallyaccurateangel707

thank you for this jono! this video is just what i needed. get this man a ted talk asap

@sleepyninjarin7971

Sometimes it is scary to lose depression and those experiences you want to forget but also feel you shouldn't. I think writing it all down makes that problem go away

@wolfgoddess15

I always love cinema therapy, and your new channel is wonderful. I love all of your suggestions, especially since I don’t want to take medication; it’s just hard to remember to do them all.

@Suchi-uw5wm

41w

Thank you this is very insightful!

@anniesemondragon8703

1y↑1

Painting and journaling helps too. It did for me, I was losing it even now that I am in my challenging phase in life.
Edit: I know it was mentioned. On my personal opinion it helps. And avoiding self-destructive behaviors. Be accountable of your actions. Self-awareness is key.

@michelottens6083

2y↑2

To #3: I'd say take it at your own pace, and make the reading (or podcast listening) as complex or as simple as you like. As long as you can treat it like some kind of cute school project roleplay, actually learn new stuff, and make some brief notes or other creative project out of it, however silly the stuff you're learning or crafting might seem. I take simple notes with any book I read, so I can see my brain is still working and creating stuff, besides just absorbing info or being emo. And I always have options ready from hard to easy reading, so I can swap from the big philosophy and science stuff, to pop-sci and investigative journalism, and on down to some pulpy scifi/fantasy as needed.

@twinstarssystem2857

2y↑2

Sometimes it's a physical thing. Like, it turned out that (in addition to PTSD) I have POTS and a symptom of flares is depression and anxiety, and also being clumsy and forgetful and in pain is really hard??? And to have that all the time?? And no one believes you? No fucking shit that makes you depressed!
Honestly, doctors are super fast to go to "it's just anxiety go to therapy" but from my experience and from the experience of others like me it really should be the other way around. Even just the basic stuff I do to manage my physical symptoms (lying down when I feel dizzy, accommodating my fatigue and pain, and increasing the amount of salt in my diet) has been incredibly helpful with managing my suicidal impulses and depression.

@suy-kimho1027

I needed this, thanks for the video

@shanwild1096

Having a reason to get out of bed is definitely a goal. For me, my reasons are my guinea pigs. Pets are incredibly good at making you feel love when you're struggling to find it. Animals are heroes 🐹

@theoryquery

2y↑1

Saw notification at "20 seconds ago". Currently preoccupied so will watch later, but I just had to comment, because I dont think I've been that quick before. XD

@kylesundell1554

32w↑1

I'm so hopeless and done I truly feel done don't want to be here no more,social anxiety and depression is too much now I'm homeless too.

@HUYI1

28w↑1

I can't deal with these feelings these fake "therapist" thinking they know all and come with nonsense to help when you are in this state is no help at all, I need a break from social media and this crap 🙄

@fatimag9330

Thank you Jonathan this was much needed. ❤️

@adedow1333

Thank you for the book recommendations. I'm always looking for something good to read. You guys are the best.

@lilithiaabendstern6303

2y↑2

and make a check for hypothyroidism, because that can also lead to depressive moods, apathy, rapid exhaustion, tiredness and concentration problems - the emotional state can be very fluctuating and, in extreme cases, range from delusions to su*cidal thoughts

@jovanguidolin6469

22w↑1

Thank you ☺️

@celineshaoyan1830

22w

I had depression 2 years ago. My school gave me bad grades because of this and didn't take it into account at all. I graduated and ended up with a terrible crowd due to rent budget. I started working in a pub in London. I stopped having depression but don't have money to move out. However, people I see everyday don't like my energy. They wish I am depressed and hopeless and vulnerable.

@mollyboze

Regarding finding some purpose or knowing people... I highly recommend joining a local theatre! My depression has become manageable after meeting theatre people (who are the most kind and inclusive souls).

@gerrimilner9448

hopelessness oh i pray and read verses and words people have given me for my edification, the days i cant get dressed um i watch you and a few channels that make me think, laugh, or feel good about myself

@RPGgoddess25

For me having a wide variety of hobbies has helped tons, even if it's sitting in front of a TV playing games all day lol if it's something you love doing it helps so much having things you enjoy to occupy the mind. And I've found purpose in starting my very own yt channel

@desislavasavova3461

Thank you ! I recommend cold showers , they helped so much with my mood. Also , watching The Shawshank Redemption is always a good idea, when you need some hope 💜

@launaskin9332

Thank you for this!!❤

@faramarzurfani7166

13w

Your voice is calm

@missvanillabean21

Ty. I find it very informative and helpful 🥰

@amandac1825

My experience was that I have depression/anxiety & anger issues. So i was put on medications first to a least lessen the emotional heights then constant therapy especially CBT. I started at 2015 to 2018 for medication therapy until i stopped completely. But still continued therapy in 2022. It was long years where i experience up and down. My family and friends sometime have to avoid me whenever experience moods sometime it is unnoticed or built up. Just realized i am human and need lot of works to be better.

@sararuiz2774

I have said this multiple times to me therapist. Even on my darkest days, my kids get me going.as my anxiety fuels my minor depressive episodes where I have a day or two where I have no energy. Having to take my kids into school gets me up and going. Then I can come home and may take an hour or two to get going. But I usually end up doing a few things because I started by getting up and taking care of them. They help me see the positives when my brains wants to see negative

@leyaclark9200

I started training taekwondo, because I was depressed. It helps me to cope with daily stress, I digest better, I sleep better and feel much better.

@karenvickers482

I'm on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication 3 times a day. And I have been in therapy for over 3 years. My father was extremely abusive. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Severe Depression & Anxiety due to the abuse. According to my Neurologist those conditions trigger my seizures as well. So I have to take seizure meds twice a day to deal with traumatizing effects of my father.

@GaiaShield

2y↑1

The drugs they put me on just made me go deeper into how much I hate my life. I'm supposed to not care about being in pain all the time so other people can feel good about saving me.

@siny10

24w

I have been struggling with depression for quite sometime now. Also I have been the victim of emotional abuse and gaslighting by my parents. They have given me so much trauma all my life that sometimes I am forced to question my existence. I am a grown up now in my 30s but my life is still controlled by my parents. It feels miserable being stuck with my parents. I wish I could just end it all.

@KarolisZvirgzdas

I love how they say do this do that. super helpful lol

@Miss_Lexisaurus

2y↑1

I've been on so many meds and none of them have made any difference at all. All of my suicide attempts have been made while on antidepressants. I know they help lots of people but they really don't help everybody. I said to my therapist the other day that I wish they helped me because I just want to not have to work SO hard every single day just to not fall off the cliff, just a little break.

@harleyquinn5774

2y↑1

I’m feeling hopeless in my efforts to return to the law firm workforce, but so far no one in my area is hiring for legal receptionists and I suspect it’s because the pandemic plus recent inflation has forced law firms to postpone filling their legal receptionist positions.

Ugh. I just got back from a challenging hike of completing almost 12.5 miles in just under 4 hours and I am still cranky as hell about my career prospects.

@gingerwizard9849

We need exercise for sanity not for vanity is a great line!

@kukalakana

2y↑1

I find that when I'm feeling depressed the last thing I want to do is read or watch something that reminds me of being depressed.

(Right now I'm reading a book called "Monty Python and philosophy", which is great for activating the think-muscles but also not at all dire or serious.)

As far as antidepressants go, I think ... not always, but a little ... they put me in a better position to be able to take on all that Pollyanna crap that the "self help" culture throws our way. I couldn't lift myself out of a funk when my brain was unable to respond to diets and exercise and so on.

@InfoBirdyKAP

12w

I have been very depressed and now hopeless, I wanna get that spark of my dream that went, to re appear

@zenoableful

before I go ahead, I love your work, and your videos got me through some very rough times - until I was able to get a therapist - however you talk about finding purposes the same way one would talk about finding the right outfit for a certain occasion.
the biggest problem - and this comes from my experience - is that purpose often simply doesn't exist. in my lows I am faced with the fact we are meant to do things for the sake of nothing; I HAVE to have a job because someone else before me has built a society in which I need pieces of paper, metal, and plastic (or strings of 1s and 0s) that have an imaginary and arbitrary value to secure a shelter, and sustenance. then since getting these pieces of paper takes most of my day, and week, often drains me emotionally, mentally, and psychologically, with little to no time left for myself I need to magically take care of myself mostly to pick up rhe damage of work, and also cultivate my hobbies and dreams.
now, at my best, I am happy enough that this does feel all my thoughts, but still, remains that we HAVE to waste the vast majority of our time on the ATM of our life (aka: job), and on top of that I have to find this greater purpose.
probably is a much bigger and deeper topic to discuss, and once again I really want to say how much I love and respect you and your work, but this sounded like one of the silliest things ever, purpose is not something you can find so easily, there is an abyss of nihilism that you must solve before you can find "purpose".

@That_Pikachu_Thing

What Jon says actually carries a lot of weight. I myself have gone through therapy and find that my meds help with my initial depression but not situational moments that really bring the beast out to tear me down. And honestly that's what's supposed to happen. Many people go to medication in hopes of "Fixing" depression and they go through all of these medications thinking that they aren't working so we just try another one because we still feel depressed and hopeless and run down to exhaustion. But what I had to learn myself is that meds aren't capable of "Fixing" us but rather a tool to help us on the road to FIGHTING and LEARNING TO LIVE WITH depression. Once I started drinking a bottle of water with every soda I drink, being more mindful of what I eat, going outside to see the sun for just 5 minutes, and finding one chore to do every day I actually started to feel better. The meds don't solve the problem but they help me find the strength to do all of that and the actions alone are what actually makes me feel better. Sometimes just doing that makes me feel good enough that I do another chore, listen to music, play with my cat, and maybe take a shower. The little things make all the difference. Anyone struggling with depression knows that it comes in different forms depending on the day. Depending on what form it takes try something small. Are you extra tired today? Sit on the porch and just enjoy the light. Feel like legit nothing? Put on some music and go for a walk, really let that music fuel you and jog to it. Can't find energy to do anything? Take 15 minutes with a bottle of water and an apple in bed with a book. Little actions really pull you a long way and if you didn't do anything today don't beat yourself up because there's always tomorrow. If tomorrow comes and you still feel the same try something different. Maybe ya gotta just push a little bit to take that trash out or do that cat litter staring at you. Congratulations!!! You did something. Now reward yourself with a shower because you deserve to feel better. Everyone deserves to feel fulfilled and like they did something today. If you need to take meds then okay give it a try, got a side effect with them? change them, but they aren't a cure all. They are a tool to AID you in the direction of getting through it. The only way out is through, so start small and build up on it. Allow yourself to feel fulfilled for getting something done. Your day didn't go to waist. You got out of bed and you did something. That's right, YOU DID IT.

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