Popular
Idina Menzel / Kristin Chenoweth Lyrics

Elphie, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project!
Hey Elphie, I've got a great idea. I am going to help make you popular!

You really don't have to do that
Elphie is surprised and skeptical about being helped.

I know, that's what makes me so nice!
The helper insists that being told what to do makes them a good person.

Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I? My tender heart tends to start to bleed
When others are in need, the helper's compassionate nature courses through their being.

And when someone needs a makeover I simply have to take over! I know, I know exactly what they need!
I'm an expert in everyone's lives and will just take care of things myself.

And even in your case Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!
Elphie may seem challenging to help, but I won't give up that easily.

Follow my lead And yes indeed, you will be Popular! You're gonna be popular!
I will show Elphie how to be just like me, popular with everyone.

I'll teach you the proper poise When you talk to boys Little ways to flirt and flounce Ooh! I'll show you what shoes to wear! How to fix your hair! Everything that really counts to be Popular!
I will instruct Elphie in the ways of popular, including how to style her hair and act around the opposite sex.

I'll help you be popular! You'll hang with the right cohorts You'll be good at sports Know the slang you've got to know So let's start 'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go!
I will also help Elphie get in with the right crowd, join sports teams, and learn the right phrases so that she fits in. It will be a long process.

Don't be offended by my frank analysis Think of it as personality dialysis
Don't take offense at my frankness about your flaws, instead let's think about it as a complete overhaul of your personality.

Now that I've chosen to become a Pal, a sister and advisor There's nobody wiser! Not when it comes to Popular!
I am now Elphie's sister, advisor, and pal transitioning myself into a position of ultimate wisdom and popularity.

I know about popular And with an assist from me To be who you'll be Instead of dreary who you were Well, are There's nothing that can stop you From becoming popu-ler... lar
I know all about popular, and with my help, no one can stop Elphie from becoming a new and improved, popular version of herself.

When I see depressing creatures With unprepossessing features I remind them on their own behalf To think of Celebrated heads of state Or specially great communicators! Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular!
When I see others that don't fit in, I remind them to think about other famous people who didn't have to be smart or knowledgeable to be popular.

Please! It's all about popular It's not about aptitude It's the way you're viewed So it's very shrewd to be Very very popular Like me!
Being popular is all that matters. Aptitude, intelligence, none of that means anything if you're not popular like me.

Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you. You're beautiful!
I am pleasantly surprised by how beautiful and appealing Elphie has become with my help.

I, I have to go You're welcome
I am done with this session of helping Elphie, the door is that way.

And though you protest Your disinterest I know clandestinely You're gonna grin and bear it! Your new found popularity! Aah!
Elphie may complain, but I can tell that she secretly appreciates her newfound popularity thanks to me.

You'll be popular! Just not quite as popular as me!
Elphie will be popular, but I want to remain the most popular of all.