Canola Fields
James McMurtry Lyrics

I was thinking 'bout you, crossing Southern Alberta
I was reminiscing about you while mentally tracing the route you would have taken crossing Southern Alberta

Canola fields on a July day
The fields I was envisioning were yellow with blooming canola and a clear blue sky

About the same chartreuse as that sixty-nine Bug
The color of the canola reminded me of a specific shade of green, which was the same green as a Volkswagen Beetle you used to drive

You used to drive around San Jose
You used to drive this car around San Jose, California

Never knew where my old white Lincoln might take you
I had a white Lincoln car that you used to drive, and I never knew where it would take you or what adventures you would have

Party on wheels with suicide doors
The car was like a fun party on wheels, with doors that open in a way that seems dangerous or self-destructive

Bring the kids and the dogs and your grandma too
There was always room for more people, even if they were family members, pets, or elderly relatives

We always had room for more
Our car and our lives were open and inviting

'Til that white-knuckle ride back from Santa Cruz
The carefree attitude changed after a scary ride back from Santa Cruz, which made me feel anxious and nervous

Second-best surfer on the central coast
Someone who was not the best surfer on the central coast, but still relatively good

Had you wrapped up all the way back to Los Gatos
He was flirting with you and making you feel good all the way back to a town called Los Gatos

And I could've cut his throat
I was feeling jealous and violent, even though we were not really in a romantic relationship

And it wasn't like we were an item to start with
We were never really a couple or in a committed relationship

It had no basis in fact
There was no logical or reasonable reason for my feelings of jealousy and anger

But the whiskey could push me to sudden extremes
Drinking alcohol could make me behave impulsively or erratically

I don't wanna think about that, I don't wanna think about that
I don't want to dwell on the past or my dark thoughts and impulses

Take my hand, Marie
Addressing someone named Marie, possibly an old friend or lover

Take a death grip on some part of me
Hold me tight and don't let go, like you're afraid I might slip away

Keep me from drifting far out to sea
Metaphorically, keep me from getting lost or overwhelmed by life

Or I'll be lost out there
Without someone to hold onto, I might feel lost or disconnected

We all drifted away with the days getting shorter
We all grew apart or moved on as time passed and summer turned into autumn

Seeking our place in the greater scheme
We were each trying to find our purpose or meaning in life

Kids and careers and a vague sense of order
Our lives were structured around raising children, pursuing careers, and trying to make sense of the world

Busting apart at the seams
The stresses of life and the complexity of our relationships were causing them to strain and break

I heard you switched coasts, moved in with your sister
I heard that you moved to the other side of the country and began living with a family member

I doubt you'd have called it familial bliss
I suspect that your living situation was less than perfect, despite being with family

We met up in Brooklyn before it went hipster
We reconnected in a part of New York City that was not yet gentrified or trendy

You carried your keys in your fist
You seemed nervous or afraid, and held your keys in a way that could be used as a weapon

In a way back corner of a cross-town bus
We were sitting in the back of a bus that traveled across town

We were hiding out under my hat
We were trying to be discreet or avoid attention by sitting close and staying low

Cashing in on a thirty-year crush
We were acknowledging our mutual attraction that had lasted for three decades

You can't be young and do that
When you're young, you can take risks and do foolish things, but as you get older, you have to be more cautious

And there's not much moving on the romance radar
There is not much romantic activity or potential in my life at the moment

Not that I'm craving it all that much
I'm not particularly eager or desperate for romance or companionship

But I still need to feel every once in a while
However, I still have a human need for connection and intimacy, even if it's not my top priority

The warmth of a smile and a touch
The physical and emotional sensations of being close to someone you care about

Brown rusty contour lines
The fields were no longer green with blooming canola, but instead appeared brown and dried up

And I could've cut his throat
This line is repeated, emphasizing the earlier violent thoughts and jealousy I experienced over someone else flirting with you

I'll be lost out there
Once again, expressing my fear of feeling disconnected or adrift in the world without someone to anchor me