Unnecessary pain
Joe Budden feat. Yummy Bingham & Felicia Temple Lyrics

I still picture your affection
I still vividly remember the love and care you showed me

I still hear you like we're talkin' on the phone
I still hear your voice in my head, as if we're having a conversation

I still feel it
I still feel the emotional connection we had

Like you're right there holdin' on to me
It feels like you're still physically holding onto me

But words cannot explain
No amount of words can adequately describe

We will never be us again
Our relationship will never be the same

Everything has changed
Everything about us has transformed

Or is that just you givin' up again?
Or maybe it's just you choosing to give up once more

More unnecessary pain
Causing more pain that is unnecessary

I would ask how we ended up here, but I drove
I would inquire about how we reached this point, but it was my actions that led us here

And you allowed me
And you allowed me to have control

Or maybe it's only me that remembers it
Or perhaps it's only me who recalls the past

'Cause you're so easily told about me
Because others can easily share information about me with you

But not once while we were on that road did you doubt me
But during our journey, you never had any doubts about me

Played your position, writin' out our books
You fulfilled your role and contributed to our story

I noticed a page missin', blame it on the age difference
I noticed a missing page, attributing it to our age gap

I see you in the club, now days you're resistant
I see you in the club, but nowadays you're hesitant

You used to get excited just to never pay admission
You used to get excited about not having to pay the entrance fee

Lookin' for the old you, wishin' shit was normal
I'm searching for the person you used to be, longing for things to be normal

Tried to mold you and you ended up with it on you
I tried to shape you, but you ended up wearing the consequences of it

Live around the corner, yeah we ain't even formal
We live close to each other, yet our relationship is not even official

So I'm askin' God, why you alive and I gotta mourn you
So I question God, wondering why you're still alive while I have to grieve over the loss of you

Word, I see you got a little crew now
Yeah, I see you have a group of friends now

A bunch of ugly broke bitches I know better than
A group of unattractive and financially struggling women that I'm more familiar with

And I ain't tryna say them hoes usin' you
And I'm not trying to say those women are using you

Well actually who would I be kiddin'? Yes I am
Well, who am I kidding? Yes, they are using you

I see your life from far and something's off with it
I observe your life from a distance and something seems wrong

It's my fault and shit, I shoulda never altered it
It's my fault, I should have never changed it

I sold a dream when you couldn't have known the cost of it
I presented a dream to you without you knowing the consequences

Knew my love came with a pain and I still offered it
I knew my love brought pain, yet I still gave it to you

Seein' your weight loss, knowin' I'm the cause of it
Seeing you lose weight, knowing that I am the reason behind it

If that ain't my signature, then shit, somebody forgin' it
If that isn't a result of my actions, then someone else is imitating it

But you think I ain't hurt, like it ain't no guilt in me
But you think I'm not hurting, as if I feel no guilt

Like it ain't killin' me, I'm out here on a killin' spree
Like it isn't destroying me, I'm out here causing damage

A sickness, I ain't found a way to nurse it yet
It's a sickness I haven't figured out how to heal

Like I ain't a nervous wreck, like it's no reverse effect
As if I'm not constantly anxious, as if it doesn't have a negative impact on me

Internal bleedin' and the cuts run deep
Internal pain and emotional wounds that go beyond the surface

Every time I leave one love, a loved one leaves
Every time I move on from one relationship, someone I care about also leaves

I wish I could take the pain away, but only yours
I wish I could alleviate your pain, but I can only experience my own

I'll be fine if I remain this way
I'll be okay if I stay in my current state

See I deserve whatever punishment I get
I believe I deserve any consequences that come my way

You could sentence me to years
You could condemn me to many years

Of hearin' my vic's voice even when nothin' is there
Of hearing the voice of my victim, even when nothing is actually present

I'm tried of feeling this
I'm tired of experiencing this

I gotta live with this
I have to live with this burden

Still learnin' to live with
Continuously trying to adapt to

People coming in and out my life
People entering and exiting my life

The ones who matter show it over time
The people who truly matter demonstrate their importance gradually

That's why they always stay on my mind
That's why they continually occupy my thoughts

So I live in reality
Thus, I exist in the real world

Nobody else matters to me but you, you, you
No one else holds significance to me except for you

Why try to hide the truth?
Why attempt to conceal the truth?

I done gone so long not givin' a fuck
I have spent a considerable amount of time not caring

That it's no longer erratic, now it's a normal habit
To the point where it's no longer unpredictable, it has become a regular habit

Even when I go my way, I gotta have it
Even when I move on with my life, I still need it

Bury me with my sweats on and bitches in the casket
When I die, dress me in casual clothes and surround me with women

All the waiters and words, I let 'em loom on
All the doubts and criticisms, I allow them to linger

Every verse real enough to write it on my tombstone
Every line of my lyrics is so authentic that it could be engraved on my tombstone

And so you know how real that paranoia be
So you understand the extent of my real paranoia

Even make me think my demise is avoidin' me
It even leads me to believe that my own death is evading me

The sick part is I withstand that abuse
The disturbing part is that I endure that mistreatment

Long as the fans are amused, am I a man or a muse?
As long as the fans are entertained, I question whether I am a man or merely an object of inspiration

Never sugarcoat it when I hand it to the youth
I never disguise the truth when I present it to the younger generation

Fell from all over the world, and always landed in the booth
Support came from all around the world, and I always found myself in the recording studio

I hold music in such a high regard that
I value music to such an extent that

To this day I still feel like it's destiny
Even now, I still believe it is my destiny

And to these fans that I once gave my life for
And to these fans whom I have sacrificed for in the past

I gotta tell you that it's not much left in me
I must inform you that there isn't much energy left within me

Yeah, and not that it's growin' old
Yeah, and it's not because it's becoming old

But years of bearin' my soul is takin' it's toll
But the years of exposing my innermost thoughts and feelings are wearing me down

Took a father from his son, but is it best that way?
I separated a father from his son, but is that the ideal outcome?

I'm so fucked up inside I can't regret that Trey
I am so mentally and emotionally damaged that I can't feel remorse for that situation, Trey

Hold my head up high at the gates after my time's up
I will maintain my pride when I reach the gates of heaven after my time on Earth is over

They say you saved somebody's life by givin' mine up
They say you saved someone's life by sacrificing mine

Wouldn't be the first time that I went without
It wouldn't be the first time that I went without something

Chased my true love so much that I resent it now
Pursued my true love so intensely that I now feel bitterness towards it

You can put this in the scriptures like it's sacred
You can treat this like sacred text and document it

To live with it, but hate it is to giveth then to take it
To live with it, but also hate it, is to both receive it and give it away

Goin' through the motions, it'll strip a nigga naked
Going through the routine can leave someone feeling exposed and vulnerable

I guess it's for a cause if all the kids are gonna play it
I suppose it serves a purpose if all the young people are going to listen to it

Trust me, I ain't been the same yet
Believe me, I haven't been the same as before

You'll stop and stare any time you see a trainwreck
You will pause and observe whenever you witness a disastrous situation

And I'll take whatever punishment they give
And I will accept whatever punishment they impose

You can sentence me to years
You can condemn me to many years

Of hearin' that fan's voice even when nothin' is there
Of hearing the voice of that fan, even when nothing is actually present

Still learnin' to live with
Still in the process of adapting to

I gotta live with this
I have to live with this burden