#1 Dad
Jonathan Something Lyrics

And then on the 7th day
After working for six days straight, even God needed a break

Even God had had to take a break
Even the almighty God needed rest and relaxation

Oh Lordy Lordy, ain't it getting late
Time is passing quickly and it's getting late

I could sure go for a whisky straight
I really feel like having a strong and neat whisky

When I finish with the dirty deed
After completing a sinful or immoral act

I think I'll move up to Albany
I might relocate to Albany

Sell the rich kids expensive weed
Make money by selling high-priced marijuana to wealthy teenagers

Then take my luck to Tennessee
I will bring my good fortune and opportunities to Tennessee

Maybe start me a cattle ranch
Consider beginning a business where I raise and breed cattle

Find a young wife and good horse-hand
Search for a youthful wife who is also skilled with horses

I got an eye for the cowboy stuff
I have a strong interest in the lifestyle and equipment associated with cowboys

Fuck a savior, I done, had enough
I am tired and disillusioned with relying on a savior or divine intervention

Then one day his phone would buzz
At some point, God's phone would receive a notification

It’d be Adam his android son
The notification would be from Adam, who is portrayed as a robotic or artificial son

Saying papa I could use some help
Adam would be seeking assistance from his father, God

I think we opened up the gates of hell
Adam believes that their actions have unleashed chaos and destruction

And Eve his golem girl
Eve, portrayed as a golem-like creature, created by God

Wearing a leaf over her virgin pearl
Eve is covering her private parts with a leaf, symbolizing her loss of innocence

Says I couldn't help but eat that fruit
Eve admits that she couldn't resist the temptation of eating the forbidden fruit

It was half off now what would Jesus do?
The fruit was on sale, and Eve questions what Jesus would do in that situation

Oh holy shit you two what have you done?
A shocked and alarmed reaction to the consequences of Adam and Eve's actions

You've gone and screwed the pooch for everyone
Their actions have caused significant problems and difficulties for everyone involved

Now every being for eternity
From now on, every living being will face the consequences forever

Will be fucked or else be fucked by me
All beings will experience negative effects, either directly or indirectly caused by the artist

Last I heard they had a couple sons
The last known information indicates that Adam and Eve have two sons

The farmer brother killed the other one
One of the sons, who is a farmer, murdered his sibling

Just what the hell is with this family?
Expressing confusion and frustration regarding the dysfunctional nature of this family

You couldn't find this on late-night TV
The family's troubles and drama go beyond what is typically seen on television

Well, I thought Noah was a decent dude
Initially, the artist had a favorable opinion of Noah

Until his boy had found him drunk and nude
The singer's perception of Noah changed when his son discovered him intoxicated and naked

So Noah cursed him and he cast him out
Noah placed a curse on his son and expelled him from his presence

And messed it all up for another round
Noah's actions disrupted the harmony and progress for another attempt or chance

And so god he put his sandal down
God asserted his authority and made a decision with firmness

And divvied up the boys in every town
God distributed the sons among different locations or territories

You can't play at all if you can't play nice
Indicating that cooperation and good behavior are necessary to participate or succeed

Then threw away our only set of dice
Symbolically discarding the chance or opportunity for randomness and unpredictability

Now I feel for God I really do
Expressing empathy and sympathy toward God's situation

His only good son loved a prostitute
God's righteous and morally upright son was involved with a prostitute

And went and pissed off all the Roman boys
God's son angered the Roman population, particularly the male individuals

They ran him ragged like a child's toy
The Romans subjected God's son to harsh treatment and exhaustion

I'm sure that god just wants to be a lone
It is believed that God desires solitude and isolation

Watching Sopranos or the Game of Thrones
God seeks entertainment by watching popular television shows like The Sopranos or Game of Thrones

But I can't help but feel a little bad
Despite everything, there is a slight feeling of remorse or guilt

So I got him this mug that says #1 Dad
To show appreciation or make amends, the artist bought God a mug with the title of the best father