"At seventeen, Lanae' says "everything shifted." A long-time relationship with a serious boyfriend ended badly, and she entered her senior year of high school with all of her hidden emotions and insecurities finally beginning to spill out. She was desperate for a way to numb her feelings, and soon found one.
"I had never heard of 'cutting'," Lanae' says, "but I had reached the point where I didn't like who I was and I was tired of living. I knew you could die if you cut your wrists, so I found a vein and started cutting. But when you do that, your body can respond to the physical pain with a rush of endorphins that make you feel good for a while. So that was where the addiction started. It got worse as it went on. The cuts got deeper. When I didn't want to deal with emotions, I would just cut them away.
"Lanae' tried sleep aids and alcohol as well, but it was the knives she kept hidden beside her bed and in her car that she most often turned to for immediate relief. The crushing cycle of shame and addiction spiraled for three years, until the night Lanae' found herself in her college apartment holding a handful of pills, ready to take them all.
"There was something deeper in my soul that just wouldn't let me do it," she says, "something that wouldn't let me die. I poured the pills out of my hand. I can look back at that moment now and know that it was God. Some time later I came across Psalm 147:3, 'He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.' It seemed too good to be true. I asked God 'Can you really do that?' because nothing else had worked and I desperately wanted to be healed. God was really beginning to use events in my life to break down my walls and reveal to me that I needed something more. Eventually, I realized how broken I was outside of Jesus. There was a moment when I finally fell on my face and offered the pieces of my life to God."
Back And Forth
Lanae' Hale Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
When it's easy not to break
But set the enemy on fire
And feel the flames grow higher and higher and higher
If I could, than I would run across the sea
So you'd speak to me
Hold on, my head, I keep on sinking
I need your hand to steady me
To bring your peace to this storm
'Cause back and forth
Yeah, oh, oh
Well, it's easy not to care,
When apathy poisons the air
Well, on the surface it seems calm
But underneath war rages on and on and on
If I could, than I would run across the sea
So you'd speak to me
Back and forth, the waves keep crashing
Hold on, my head, I keep on sinking
I need your hand to steady me
To bring your peace to this storm
'Cause back and forth
You are rain falling hard on my shoulders,
I lift my head, and don't let go
Feel the tide growing high as I get older,
I lift my head and don't let go
Feel the waves rolling over and over,
I lift my head and I don't let go
'Cause you're my light when the dark gets colder,
So take my hand and don't let go
Don't let go-oh
If I could, than I would run across the sea
So you'd speak to me, So you'd speak to me
Back and forth, the waves keep crashing
Hold on, my head, I keep on sinking
I need your hand to steady me
To bring your peace to this storm
'Cause back and forth
You are rain falling hard on my shoulders,
I lift my head, and don't let go
Feel the tide growing high as I get older,
I lift my head and don't let go
Feel the waves rolling over and over,
I lift my head and I don't let go
'Cause you're my light when the dark gets colder,
So take my hand and don't let go
The lyrics of Lanae’ Hale’s song “Back And Forth” are about the struggles of life and the need for a steady hand to guide through the storms. In the beginning of the song, the singer admits that it is easier to take life as it is, rather than to break free from it. However, she acknowledges that sometimes it is necessary to stand up to those who try to bring us down and set the enemy on fire. By doing this, she feels the flames grow higher and higher, empowering her to take on the challenges of life.
As the song progresses, the singer expresses her need for connection and support. She wishes she could run across the sea to be with the one who can bring her peace. The metaphor of the waves crashing back and forth symbolizes the constant battle of life. She feels that she is sinking and needs someone to steady her. The singer acknowledges that sometimes apathy can be tempting, but it only poisons the air. She understands that war rages underneath the calm surface of life, and it is necessary to fight against it.
Line by Line Meaning
Well, it's easier to take
It is easier to handle a situation
When it's easy not to break
When things are going smoothly
But set the enemy on fire
Take action against negativity and opposition
And feel the flames grow higher and higher and higher
Results become more noticeable and significant
If I could, than I would run across the sea
I would go to great lengths to be with you
So you'd speak to me
So I could hear your voice
Back and forth, the waves keep crashing
The constant struggle of life
Hold on, my head, I keep on sinking
Feeling overwhelmed and struggling to stay afloat
I need your hand to steady me
I need your support to help me stay grounded
To bring your peace to this storm
To calm the chaos in my life
'Cause back and forth
Because of the constant struggles
Well, it's easy not to care,
It is easy to be indifferent
When apathy poisons the air
When complacency and lack of concern fills the atmosphere
Well, on the surface it seems calm
Things appear to be tranquil
But underneath war rages on and on and on
Beneath the surface there is conflict and turmoil
You are rain falling hard on my shoulders,
You bring challenges to my life
I lift my head, and don't let go
I face adversity head on and don't give up
Feel the tide growing high as I get older,
The struggles in life become more intense as I age
I lift my head and don't let go
I remain resilient and steadfast
Feel the waves rolling over and over,
The constant cycle of challenges
I lift my head and I don't let go
I remain determined to face the struggles
'Cause you're my light when the dark gets colder,
You are my source of hope and strength when things are difficult
So take my hand and don't let go
Please hold onto me and support me through the struggles
If I could, than I would run across the sea
I would go any distance to be with you
So you'd speak to me, So you'd speak to me
So I could hear your voice and feel your presence
Contributed by Sophie M. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Jevi Turtlebox
Still so amazing found this song 10 years ago when I was 13 fight brain cancer epilepsy etc... this song got me through so much I'm 24 now 😁 God is good and this song and her voice have been a gift in my life
GoldNava
I've always loved this song from Lanae. Wish she'd make more music!
Jevi Turtlebox
I found this song when I was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer. This song moved me in a way where I was able to be honest with myself and God even when I didn't know what was gonna happen. I found this song when I was in middle school and now I'm in my first year of college and it is still on my playlist.
ilovequinn7
She has a beautiful voice:)
cavgurl07
Awesome video! I love this song and Air 1. Great music, wonderful God-centered message, and the morning show (Sean and Mandy) makes me laugh. :) Definitely favoriting this. May God bless you!
Taylor John
Love this song! God definitely gave her a beautiful voice!
joshua Barnes
Its awesome how she sing with every rasp and squeak and its still so beautiful.
stachiano
ah, love this song so much, what an extraordinary voice! her story is a great one, too
Steven Cash
that's a lot of feelings in this song made me cry never figure such heart in this song would help just relieve some pressure. I love how it put the that you should still hang on. Thank You Lord for this song.
Cece Calvin
WOW!!! Her voice is awesome!!! Love the song too!!!