Master Of The House
Les Misérables – 10th Anniversary Concert Lyrics

Drinkers
Patrons at the inn

Come on you old pest
Hey, old annoying person

Fetch a bottle of your best
Get the finest bottle

What's the nectar of the day?
What is the special drink today?

Here, try this lot
Take a taste of this

Guaranteed to hit the spot
I promise it will satisfy you

Or I'm not Thenardier
If I'm not Thenardier, then I don't know who I am

Gissa glass a' rum
Give us a glass of rum

Landlord, over here!
Hey, innkeeper, come to us!

Right away, you scum
Immediately, you worthless people

Right away, m'sieur
Right away, sir

God this place has gone to hell
This place has become terrible

So you tell me every year
You complain about it every year

Mine host Thenardier
Our innkeeper, Thenardier

He was there so they say,
They say he was present

At the field of Waterloo
During the Battle of Waterloo

Got there, it's true
He made it there, it's true

When the fight was all through
When the battle had ended

But he knew just what to do
But he knew exactly what to do

Crawling through the mud
Crawling through the muddy battlefield

So I've heard it said
As I have heard it mentioned

Picking through the pockets
Taking things from the pockets

Of the English dead
Of the deceased English soldiers

He made a tidy score
He collected a good amount

From the spoils of war
From the stolen goods of war

My band of soaks
My group of drunkards

My den of dissolutes
My gathering place of debauched individuals

My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts.
My vulgar jokes, my always drunk patrons.

My sons of whores
My despicable offspring

Spent their lives in my inn
They have been living in my inn their whole lives

Homing pigeons homing in
Returning customers

Then fly through my doors
They enter my establishment

And their money's as good as yours
And their money is just as good as anyone's

Ain't got a clue
I have no idea

What he put in this stew
What he added to this stew

Must have scraped it off the street
He probably scraped it off the street

God what a wine!
What an awful wine!

Chateau Neuf de Turpentine
A humorous name for the wine

Must have pressed it with his feet
He must have squeezed it with his feet

Where's the bloody man?
Where is the damn man?

One more for the road!
One more drink before we leave!

Thenardier, one more slug o' gin.
Thenardier, give us one more shot of gin

Just one more, or my old man is gonna do me in.
Just one more, or my husband will harm me

Welcome, M'sieur
Welcome, sir

Sit yourself down
Take a seat

And meet the best
And meet the greatest

Innkeeper in town
Innkeeper of this town

As for the rest
As for the others

All of 'em crooks
All of them are criminals

Rooking their guests
Cheating their customers

And cooking the books
And falsifying their records

Seldom do you see
Rarely do you find

Honest men like me
Honest men like myself

A gent of good intent
A man with good intentions

Who's content to be
Who is satisfied to be

Master of the house
The owner and ruler of this establishment

Doling out the charm
Providing charm and charisma

Ready with a handshake
Always ready to shake hands

And an open palm
And an open hand, ready for payment

Tells a saucy tale
Shares a naughty story

Makes a little stir
Causes a commotion

Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Customers appreciate a good host

Glad to do a friend a favor
Happy to help a friend

Doesn't cost me to be nice
It doesn't cost me anything to be kind

But nothing gets you nothing
But you can't get anything for nothing

Everything has got a little price!
Everything comes with a small cost

Keeper of the zoo
In charge of this chaotic place

Ready to relieve 'em
Ready to take advantage of them

Of a sou or two
Of a small amount of money

Watering the wine
Diluting the wine

Making up the weight
Adding filler to make it seem like more

Pickin' up their knick-knacks
Taking their small belongings

When they can't see straight
When they are too drunk to notice

Everybody loves a landlord
Everyone enjoys a good innkeeper

Everybody's bosom friend
Everyone's close friend

I do whatever pleases
I do whatever brings me pleasure

Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Jesus! I will take advantage of them eventually!

Quick to catch yer eye
Immediately captures your attention

Never wants a passerby
Never wants someone to pass by without noticing him

To pass him by
To ignore him

Servant to the poor
Provider for the less fortunate

Butler to the great
Servant to the wealthy and powerful

Comforter, philosopher,
Source of comfort and wisdom

And lifelong mate!
And lifelong companion

Gives 'em everything he's got
Gives them everything he can

Dirty bunch of geezers
Disgusting group of old men

Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
Jesus! They are a pitiful group!

I used to dream
I used to have dreams

That I would meet a prince
That I would encounter a prince

But God Almighty,
But dear God,

Have you seen what's happened since?
Have you seen what has happened to me?

Isn't worth me spit!
He is not worth my saliva!

'Comforter, philosopher'
'Comforter, philosopher'

- And lifelong shit!
- And lifelong shitty person!

Cunning little brain
Clever little mind

Regular Voltaire
Just like Voltaire, the French writer and philosopher

Thinks he's quite a lover
Believes he is a great lover

But there's not much there
But there is not much substance

What a cruel trick of nature
What a cruel joke of fate

Landed me with such a louse
Left me with such a terrible person

God knows how I've lasted
God knows how I have survived

Living with this bastard in the house!
Living with this horrible person in the house!

Master and a half!
An even worse master!

Ah, don't make me laugh!
Ah, do not make me laugh!

Hypocrite and toady
A hypocrite and flatterer

And inebriate!
And drunkard!

Everybody bless the landlord!
Everyone praises the innkeeper!

Everybody bless his spouse!
Everyone praises his wife!

Everybody raise a glass
Everyone raise a glass

Raise it up the master's arse
Raise it up the master's arse

Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
Everyone raise a glass to the master of the house!