I'm Ready
Long John Baldry Lyrics

I'm ready, ready as anybody can be
I am fully prepared and eagerly awaiting whatever may come my way.

Now I'm ready for you, I hope you're ready for me
I am now prepared to face you and hope that you are equally prepared to face me.

I got an axe handle pistol on a graveyard frame
I am carrying a deadly weapon, an axe handle pistol, on a frame that was acquired from a graveyard.

That shoot tombstone bullets, wearin' balls and chain
The bullets from my weapon are designed to resemble tombstones and I am wearing a balls and chain metaphorically indicating something heavy that is holding me down.

I'm drinkin' TNT, I'm smokin' dynamite
I am currently ingesting highly explosive substances, TNT and dynamite.

I hope some screwball start a fight
I am hopeful that someone who is crazy or unusual will provoke a physical confrontation with me.

'Cause I'm ready, ready as anybody can be
Once again, I want to emphasize that I am fully prepared for whatever comes my way.

All you pretty little chicks with your pretty little hair
Addressing a group of attractive women and their appearance.

I know you feels like I ain't nowhere
I understand you may consider me a nobody (nowhere), but that is not the case.

But stop what your doin' baby come overhere
I am inviting one of the women to leave her current activity and come closer to me.

I'll prove to you baby, that I ain't no square
I am assuring her that I am not a boring or uncool person.

I been drinkin' vodka like never before
I have consumed a significant amount of vodka more than I ever have before.

I feel so good, I want you to know
I am feeling elated and want to share that feeling with someone.

One more drink, I wish you would
I am requesting to have one more drink and encouraging the other person to join me.

I takes a whole lotta lovin' to make me feel good
It takes a significant amount of affection to make me feel truly happy and fulfilled.